Because my college career will be drawing to a close soon, my mind is winding its way towards that point in my life when I will no longer be a carefree college student. I will be a— what do they call it again? A grown-up?

In that same frame of mind, I’ve been looking at my so-called grown-up friends to see how their lives are different from my own, searching for things that would tell me when I’ve become one of them, or if maybe -gasp- I’m already there. Here is what I came up with.

5 Signs that you are now entering Adultsville:

1. Bills. Gone are the days of blissful ignorance as to how the lights stayed on at home or the hot water kept running. Now those infuriating little statements just keep slipping through the mail slot. Phone bill, gas bill, waterworks, eating away at your paycheck- your new pair of shoes! It was a lot more fun when you had an allowance.

2. Your parents are asking you to drive them places. You thought it was your ticket to freedom when you got your license, huh? Wink, wink. Mom and Dad were just waiting for the day when they wouldn’t have to take you anywhere and you could start chauffeuring them around. Now it’s, “Honey, can you take me to the doctor’s on Monday?” and, “Oh, could you stop by the grocery store after work and pick some things up for me?” Don’t forget doing someone else’s errands: “Your sister’s done with soccer practice at 6.” Some kind of freedom. Read More »

Because our usual I Love Money recapper is enjoying a summer vacay (lucky biatch), I was commissioned to watch and recap the most recent episode of the show. Now, I would just like to say that I watch a LOT of bad TV. A lot. My DVR currently holds too many episodes of What Not To Wear, some reruns of The Real Housewives of Orange County, Engaged and Underage and, of course, True Life, I’m a Staten Island Girl.

Yet, knowing all of that, I am still really embarrassed to have watched the trash also known as, I Love Money.
This show is trashier than The Real World, I Love New York and From G’s to Gents (yes, I have watched one episode of that train wreck) combined. I mean, seriously? Is VH1 for real with this show? There are just a bunch of REALLY dumb, really trashy people living in a house together…and having sex with other people in the room. And the names? Whiteboy? The Entertainer? DESTINEY?

I don’t know if I am watching TV or visiting a strip club.

I am not quite sure of the premise of the show, but I assume it is for all these freaks to try and win some money. And on last night’s episode, that somehow included making themselves cry with the aid of onions, cayenne pepper (that some moron RUBBED INTO HER EYES) and even some girl asking a dude to smack her in the face while her teammate tried (so hard) to be upset that she was away from her son.

Yeah. Seriously. Read More »

I have a friend who has a job thousands of people would kill for: he works in video games.

Whenever we’re out and he meets someone new, the conversation inevitably dissolves into a discussion of his job. Even those who hate video games (like me) want to know how he landed a position in such an elusive field.

And I thought, why not give you guys the benefit of his experience? So I interviewed him and, voila, here it is. May it be at least somewhat helpful.

If so, let me know–I’ll conduct some more of these suckers with people in other industries.

Okay, here’s the interview:

Hi, friend! What’s your name?
Ronnie Villanova.

And how old are you?
27.

What’s your current job title?
I’m an Associate Producer.

Oh, cool. And what kind of company do you work for?
It’s a video game company. They make and publish video games.

Wow, that sounds really interesting. Do you like it?
As fun and creative as people think video games might be, my actual job is very corporate and full of red tape, and hierarchies, and meetings, and Excel; lots of Excel. It’s sort of like The Office, except even more socially awkward. Read More »

Has Lindsay Lohan turned Miley Cyrus into a promiscuous devil child?

Perez 1, McCain, 0

Those Real World kids continue to make our generation look like idiot douchebags

Early reviews of Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight: Fabulous and Frightening

What if dudes didn’t exist?

A cross wearing Bible-thumper…dealbreaker?

Jay-Z likes his watermelons to look like Beyonce’s …well…melons

I will never put my dog on Prozac. End of story

Sleeping around via Cragislist

Dear New Yorker: That cover was stupid. Just admit it

Remember when Girls Gone Wild used to shame party girls across the country who had one too many body shots on Spring Break and had the bad luck to land in front of a camera? Since when has slutty behavior turned into a profitable asset and a celebrity vehicle? Mini Me’s lover is collecting big after a sex tape “somehow” leaked, and now Eliot Spitzer’s ex-whore is getting a REALITY TV SHOW. I can’t believe that we Americans will actually tune in to the lives of nutjobs like the Lohans, the Kardashians, and now, some hooker who happened to win the jackpot.

When Tila Tequila burst on the scene, she had a great gimmick: the first bisexual reality dating show. But after the Bobby Banhart breakup-scandal, and oh-so-predictable opposite-gender-choosing finale in season 2, there’s not much buzz left in Tequilaville. Bring in the hooker! If you thought Tila’s patented, “How will your parents react when they find out I’m bisexual?” act starts to get old, imagine the “How will your parents react when they find out I’m the whore that ruined Eliot Spitzer’s career?” segment.

Yes, Handprint Entertainment, the fine folks who bring the lives of Pamela Anderson and Nicole Ritchie to the small screen, are in talks with MTV to give Ashley Dupre a shot at love. Read More »

Looks like MTV should change their name to OCTV (Other Crap TV).

That’s all they seem to be showing these days, anyway. Crap. Crap that has more to do with stupid fame whores than new and exciting tune-age. Has anyone heard actual music on MTV lately (besides the stuff they play during The Hills)?

Yeah, me either.

Did you know the Daytime Emmy’s happened? Yeah, us either. But Ellen Degeneres did.

We can’t stop laughing. Just look.

Not sure which is more disturbing about this story; being contestants on American Gladiator, or being the mother of your own grandchildren.

Apparently, Boys Like Girls like girls. In other news: girls also like boys.

Porn isn’t just for boys, anymore. Even a good girl can learn a few things…

This just in: the real world isn’t as fun as college.

Long relationships. While wonderful, they can often fall into habitual, routine types of lifestyles that – while comforting – can be dull and lackluster of any excitement or romance. Having been in long relationships myself, topping out at four years as my longest, I have a few suggestions (from my own personal experiences and the experiences of others) on how to keep that flame burning bright even in oldest, most exhausted – but still loving – relationship.

Set aside one day or evening for a special date night, just the two of you. With the hustle and bustle of work, school, friends, going out, parties and the rest of what life entails, it is easy to get swept up with all your other life obligations that cause you to forget that you need to spend quality time together. A movie, a nice dinner, a good conversation, a playful bedtime activity – just something that reconnects the two of you privately.

Put yourself before him. In an article I read in Women’s Day, it was suggested (and I can second that, as most of you can, I’m sure) that women tend to place other people before them. Dr. Fulbright says, “the more a woman looks after her health and welfare, the better she will feel and the more she’ll be in the mood for sex.” Who knew that caring for you more, and him less, would create a stronger sexual bond behind closed doors? Knowing that, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you taking a little “me” time. Read More »

I have been eagerly anticipating the premier of the Lohan reality show since Perez announced it a few months ago. Monday’s premier more than exceeded my expectations. I’m sorry about the delay, but I wanted to be absolutely sure that I had absorbed all that I could from this trainwreck collision of Kardashiantics, Real World-esque shouting matches and Girls Next Door intelligence. The show, in a word, is brilliant. In two words, it is brilliantly horrible. Enjoy.

The show begins with a montage of sexy photos all over the house, Dina explains how nothing is more important to her than family (except for press/publicity) as she breaks up a typical sibling playfight between Aliana (Ali) 14, and Dakota (Cody) 11, showcasing how normal they are.

In the kitchen, Dina and her assistant Alexis lament the difficulties of being placed on hold to get out of Jury duty (obviously Dina has other incredibly important things to do). They immediately dive into a harrowing tabloid scanning sesh. Dina explains how sad it is that every morning the poor thing has to go through every single tabloid to see if she’s in it (oh yeah…or any of her kids/clients). Cody, who I am completely in love with, interrupts as the voice of reason, wondering why his Mommadukes has to read the tabloids. She can’t explain. I can’t either, Cody. Read More »

The Real World is making its way to Brooklyn for its 21st season. In case you’re counting, this will be the third time the show has been in New York City. I know Brooklyn is its own distinct borough filled with unique charm, but when you take a subway or two right over to the previous Real World houses, it’s just too close. It’s time for the folks at MTV to branch out. Here are some suggestions for future destinations:

Minneapolis
It was heavily rumored that the Real World was heading to this upper Mid-western urban center for its 19th season. Sydney may have provided the castmates with sunny beaches and hot dudes with accents, but Minneapolis is pretty cool too. There’s a fantastic art scene, friendly locals, giant university, funky bars and the town is surrounded by gorgeous lakes. Plus, the the weather isn’t so bad in the summer.

Washington D.C.
Nothing goes better with historic buildings, sketchy elected officials and government offices than 20-somethings with ‘roid rage and girls in hooker boots. D.C. is vibrant, has a ton of cute neighborhoods and lots of things to do. Plus, it’s the most walk-able city in the nation, perfect for coming home drunk. Can you picture Real World folks as congressional pages? Tour guides? The options are endless. Read More »