What’s more comically traumatic than getting a rash “cut it all off” haircut that makes you look less sexy and fierce and more gender-ambiguous? Getting it against your will on national television, ANTM-style!

That’s right, it’s the episode of reality television that I look forward to most…the makeover episode of America’s Next Top Model!

“Like a butterfly, a true top model must be willing to undergo a total metamorphosis,” reads the TyraMail, sending the girls into a chorus of excited screams and giggles, which of course will soon turn into tears, sneers, and perhaps a nervous breakdown, if Tyra has her way!

Tyra shows the girls what to expect this time, with the help of digital imaging, and off they go! Read More »

It was tough, but I made it through the last two days of reality television to provide you, the reader, with some of the highlights of the best television from the weekend. It was difficult, but I swear that a six pack of Corona makes it really entertaining.

Ok, I’m lying I find it completely entertaining without drinking…maybe.

The Hills
The Hills has really impressed me this season. Somehow Lauren Conrad has wormed her way into America’s hearts and suddenly I find myself just rooting for the girl. Last night, though was really spectacular and I found myself wanting to jump through the TV and punch Spencer in the face.

Jason has returned from his little stint in rehab and reconnects with Lauren. We are all a little skeptical of his return but he seems sort of genuine in that Jason way that he wants to be friends with Lauren. She is hesitant as well but is doing the good ex-girlfriend thing and being there for him. They go to dinner and who do they see at the restaurant but Heidi and Spencer.

I have no doubt that MTV whispered sweet nothings about the restaurant in both of their ears, but still it was AMAZING to watch. Read More »

Thank the Lord for “Celebrity Rap Superstar.”

My first viewing was last week; I had seen the commercials and made a solemn oath to avoid this one at all costs. But like Whitney to crack, there I was in front of my television, enjoying the rush of shame and delight that came from my first few moments of CRS.

None of the contestants on the show are legitimately famous. Reality television has produced a mass of “celebrities” that are longing to extend their already used 15 minutes of fame.

There is Jason Wahler of The Hills, who forgot every single lyric during is first performance, making Ashlee Simpson look legitimate. You will laugh, and cringe, and perhaps shed a tear for poor Jason, who takes himself WAY too seriously.

Then of course, there’s the Queen of All Media, Ms. Perez Hilton himself. The nice thing about Perez is that he is actually in on the joke, and makes fun of himself the whole time. He knows he’s a blogger who got lucky, and proceeds to laugh his way to the bank. Perez already has street cred, he doesn’t need to earn it. Read More »