Q: I’ve been dating a great guy for a couple of months. When we started dating, he told me that he is “sort of” bisexual, and that he’s hooked up with guys before. I was nonchalant when he told me, and I said I was fine with it, but I’m a little weirded out. I feel like he’s going to be checking out guys whenever we go out, or thinking my guy friends are hot. Am I overreacting?

A: Well, honestly, I do think you’re overreacting–but it comes down to personal preference and opinion, so if his sexuality is something you can’t deal with, then you’re not right for each other.

Before you start drafting your “it’s not you, it’s me” speech, hear me out. Let’s say he’s 100% straight as an arrow–you do realize that he would notice other women besides you, right? And as much as you may hate it, he would probably form some opinion on how hot your friends are, too (though if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll keep it to himself). So what’s the difference between him noticing other women or other men? He’s still choosing to be with you.

Is it possible that you’re a little worried about friends’ reactions? Since you’ve been with him for a couple of months I’m assuming it wasn’t a dealbreaker–you did continue to date him after all. I actually dated a bisexual guy a few years ago, and the experience was not much different than dating a straight guy–for me, hearing that he was bi was like hearing that he loves dogs or hates seafood. Some of my friends were a little bit shocked when they found out, so his sexuality was only an issue when I started feeling defensive about it. Read More »

Just like we are always wondering what guys are thinking (which is usually sex, boobs, or sex), guys want to know what’s on our minds. What do we want? What do we like? What the hell do we mean when we curtly say “it’s fine” after they get us a push-up bra for our birthday?

Contrary to popular belief, they care what we think. Not only because they want to please us, but because they want to woo us, lure us…and get us into their beds.

So, we at CollegeCandy decided it was time to let guys know exactly what we like/hate/and dream about at night. So, vote, comment and pass this on to those boys in your life. And remember: unlike sex with most college men, this is all for you in the end.

When it comes to menfolk, which do you flock to: popped collar preppy boys, or the soccer ball toting sporty guys?

Email your old (BUT NOT TOO OLD, DAMMIT!!!) friend Tuffy at asktuffyluv@gmail.com to get answers to your craziest questions. No question is too bizarre or too normal! Ask away! Tuffy’s column runs every other Tuesday.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

This is so random, but my friend was going on and on about this sex position she and her boyfriend tried called “the lotus.” But I looked it up and it looks like it’s a Yoga thing? What’s she talking about? I don’t want to ask and look stupid…

Thanks, Tuf!
Melissa

Dear Melissa,

Oh, Meliss. Can I call you that? Meliss?

Anyway, honey, very good question. There is a yoga position called the lotus, but there’s a totally separate lotus sex position too. The Lotus (sex) position is actually a variation of a less romantic sounding position called “pounding on the spot” (classy, eh?) and it’s an excellent way to enhance your (SAFE!!) sex life. Read More »

Just like we are always wondering what guys are thinking (which is usually sex, boobs, or sex), guys want to know what’s on our minds. What do we want? What do we like? What the hell do we mean when we curtly say “it’s fine” after they cancel our recording of The Hills to record some crap on Spike TV?

Contrary to popular belief, they care what we think. Not only because they want to please us, but because they want to woo us, lure us…and get us into their beds.

So, we at CollegeCandy decided it was time to let guys know exactly what we like/hate/and dream about at night. So, vote, comment and pass this on to those boys in your life. And remember: unlike sex with most college men, this is all for you in the end.

How do you like your men: natural scent or enhanced by a spray of cologne?

Q: My sex drive is through the roof, and I can easily have sex twice a day, every day…but my boyfriend is a different story. He’s fine only having sex once or twice a week. We’ve been together for almost a year, but we’ve been fighting about this more and more lately, usually after he brushes me off if I’m trying to “seduce” him, at which point I usually make passive aggressive statements about how I should find someone who DOES want to have sex with me. I feel bad for saying it, but I’m also starting to believe it! Aren’t guys supposed to dream of having a girlfriend that wants to have sex all the time? What should I do?

A: I can sympathize–I’m also the sex fiend in my relationship, and it can be really frustrating. Here’s the thing, though — I don’t think twice weekly sex is really a problem, at least not in the way that once-every-3-months sex would be a problem. Seems to me that’s it’s just a preference and not indicative of how attractive and sexy he finds you. Only you know for yourself if it’s a dealbreaker or not.

I think a lot of the frustration might actually be coming from how the situation is handled, and less so the frequency of sex. Start by changing how you fight. I completely understand your passive-aggressive reaction (and I’ve so been there), but it’s only making him more defensive and not open to talking about it. Try bringing it up during a neutral time–not before, during, or after sex (or the rejection of sex)–and explain it to him in “I” statements: “I don’t feel good about myself when you brush off my advances.” Read More »

Just like we are always wondering what guys are thinking (which is usually sex, boobs, or sex), guys want to know what’s on our minds. What do we want? What do we like? What the hell do we mean when we curtly say “it’s fine” after we catch them chatting with a whore another girl at the party?

Contrary to popular belief, they care what we think. Not only because they want to please us, but because they want to woo us, lure us…and get us into their beds.

So, we at CollegeCandy decided it was time to let guys know exactly what we like/hate/and dream about at night. So, vote, comment and pass this on to those boys in your life. And remember: unlike sex with most college men, this is all for you in the end.

What is more important to you: a guy who is well groomed (read: pretty), or a guy who is well-read (read: intelligent)?

A few weeks ago, while hanging out with a guy friend I met seven years ago when I was a younger (and skinnier) version of myself, something unpredictable happened to me. The guy is great: he has a super-sweet taste in music, a killer style and an overall hilarious personality. Basically, the male version of me.

Anyways, we were hanging out and I realized that every time I have hung out with him lately I have found myself imagining him naked. In my bed. Kissing my neck. Which made me realize that maybe my feelings for him weren’t quite so platonic anymore…

I started to contemplate ways that I could take our friendship to the next level, which meant that I didn’t just want to hook up with him (though that part was nice), but instead, I wanted to, like, turn this dude –my life-long pal- into my BF.

Let’s just say it’s been a few weeks since the initial breaking-of-the-ice-first-awkward-kiss-after- seven-years-of-friendship, and said dude is STILL not my BF. (Yeah, it didn’t turn out so well for me.) So, I decided that in order to prevent other lovely CC readers from committing the same embarrassing atrocities, I would share several Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to taking friendship to the next level, all from my personal experience (and humiliation). Read More »

[For many of us, sex and college go together like Uggs and snow - you can’t have one without the other. So, we brought in one of Berkeley’s finest sex columnists, Elizabeth, to start a dialogue about the topic (and act) that is very near and dear to our hearts. Every Thursday she will get your day goin’ with a little somethin’ somethin’ that’s on her mind.]

My roommate Jeanenne thinks I don’t play “the game” enough. According to her, the only game I play is “let me drop my pants for you.” Yeah, ouch. After such an accusation, I decided to go out there and see what this game was all about. I wasn’t really sure what that meant - or why I needed to play if I was doin’ pretty well without it - but boy did I play that game.

I went out and started partying at 10 AM like any normal (game) day, and vowed to be “coy,” “mysterious,” and “un-slutty” – basics in “The Game,” but pretty odd concepts in my book. What this essentially meant was me going out, getting wasted, and not talking to any guys. (Okay, so I did talk to guys, but I didn’t heavily mack on them per usual.)

And you wanna know what happened? I didn’t get hit on. Not once. Read More »