Ever have one of those weeks when you are so crazy busy you don’t even have time to realize how tired you are? Yeah, that’s how we feel right now.

We spent our week planning our Halloween costume, trying not to die from our Birth Control (not that we need it, considering how long we’ve been single), trying to understand the purpose of a threesome, avoiding scary movies, attempting to get our awful roommate to move out, and trying to find the perfect sweater dress for fall.

Ugh. Even our Hump Day was stressful with both the big presidential debate and the season finale of Project Runway on at the same time.

It’s a good thing we learned a few beauty tricks to fix those undereye circles; otherwise, we would have looked like one hot mess.

Thankfully it’s Friday, which means lots of time to r-e-l-a-x. We just aren’t sure which way is better: a few yoga classes, or a bird poop facial??

I am a Cosmo devotee. Have been since I started stealing my mom’s when I was twelve. I am amazed monthly by the hair, the witty captions, and their never ending innovation of synonyms for the word penis. Many of my friends, acquaintances, relatives and sisters swear by Cosmo as their Bible (and for the most part I do too). But there are some times (well…many times) when Cosmo’s take on real world situations is - in a word - whack.

I will still accept their declarations of lip gloss superiority like they were handed down from the divine, but when it comes to their interpretation of all things men (or at least all things greatly generalized and stereotyped), I think I’ll be reading with a grain of salt handy.

And I’ll pass that grain onto you. With every passing month and, in turn, every new “Secret Sex Fantasy Guys Won’t Tell You!” revealed, I will be here to break it all down for you. I will find the truth buried deep between the unsafe sex positions and “things he secretly loves you for,” so you don’t end up with a stiff neck, an angry boyfriend or some seriously embarrassing sexcapades.

Case in Point: His Body Reveals What He’d Never Tell You

This month, Cosmo attempts to decipher the inner workings of the male mind via seemingly trivial physical cues (again.) You’re man’s scratching his ear? He’s prob cheating on you. What’s that? He blinks more than 50 times in a minute? His favorite sports team is winning. Seriously though, the things that Cosmo interprets from the following random body language are hardly the earth shattering revelations I thought I was in for.

Printed to the nines in red and black boldface, I immediately assume that this article contains crucial, non-regurgitated info. What I find is quite a lot of previously printed concepts, some “DUH” points, and (obv) euphemisms for penises. Read More »

I spend a lot of time telling myself to relax.

Relax, I tell myself. It’s okay that you didn’t have time to straighten your bangs this morning–no one is looking at you. It’s okay that you just said something really stupid to a tourist on the subway–no one is noticing you. No one else really knows you exist. RELAX.

Unfortunately, my seemingly-insane paranoia was validated yesterday.

My boyfriend and I went into a diner that I haven’t been to for about three years. And this is Manhattan, right, so there have been millions of patrons since the last time I’ve been there. And I was never a regular customer or anything like that.

So yesterday I’m in this diner and the waiter brings me my cup of tea and he says, didn’t you used to wear glasses? i remember you–you came in here a few years ago.

And I almost peed myself. Read More »

Ever find yourself awake at 4am reading Perez Hilton and unable to fall asleep? Between classes, extracurriculars, homework and those 5 trips to Starbucks, relaxing at the end of a long day can be next to impossible. Worse yet, if you study where you sleep (we’ve all tried to read a book in bed, and I personally have a duvet cover stained with pen ink!), your body may not be able to determine when it’s time to focus and when it’s time to pass out.

Yoga can be a great way to increase your energy and wake you up, but there are also a few simple poses you can try before bed that will (hopefully!) relax you and calm your mind. Read More »

Not too long ago, I talked about cleaning out your dorm in order to help get your life on track. Hopefully, you took some of that advice and put it to good use.

Whether you did or didn’t (what are you waiting for? Go for it!), the weather is getting cooler and the holiday season is getting ready to make our already busy lives a big ball of stress. Now is the time to do a clean-sweep on your brain. What do I mean by that? You’re in dire need of an attitude overhaul!

The best part: not only will you feel like a new person…you will be. Thanks to Dumb Little Man I’ve read his wonderful advice and made it a little more college-centric. So, let’s take a minute and make a plan to better ourselves!

The first and most important step is to understand that by changing your thoughts, you will shape a more positive life. This sounds scary, but it’s not about brainwashing yourself. It’s about knowing that positivity breeds positivity.

DLM then outlines 9 steps that will aid you in beginning your transformation, but what I find most useful is his number one rule: Make an Appointment With Yourself

It’s important to take a moment out of your busy day to sit with your thoughts. It’s sounds very hippie-dippy…like I’m some kind of Earth Child, but just take my word for it. This time will allow you to relax, think, sort out your thoughts, and daydream about all the possibilities your life can take. Read More »

Still squinting at your computer into the wee hours of the night, eating pretzels and knocking back that new disgusting pink Tab? (Seriously. Who thought women wanted a drink that tastes like chemically enhanced bubblegum?) Still trying to memorize all those weirdly named body parts for anatomy while your bed calls seductively to you from across the room?

Well, maybe my second installment of Spring Semester Freak-Out Remedies will help ease the pain. In this episode, we will be discussing meditation. The easy kind. None of that lotus-position hour long advanced yogi stuff. Let’s be real, almost none of us has time—or the back strength—for that.

Meditation, even in its simplest form, can bring your body and mind back from crazy land. It’s a centering practice, an easy way to feel rested in only a few minutes. And best of all? You can do it lying down!

Step 1. Make sure you have at least 15 minutes of quiet time. 15 minutes where you know the roommate won’t be around, when no one’s going to be knocking on your door, and there’s no rush to get down to the dining hall. If you have more time, awesome, but 15 minutes is a good place to start.

Step 2. Shut off all your lights. Close your curtains. You don’t need to be in pitch dark, but the atmosphere should be calming and quiet. Read More »