Welcome to Something Old, Something New, a weekly review of a new theater/DVD release and an old release that is in some way related to the new film.

Something Old: Texas Chainsaw Massacre – The Next Generation (1995)
Something New: Prom Night (2008)
The Connection: Both are remakes of classic horror films.

There are three categories of horror films. The first category is the Good Horror Movie. Believable, well-written, well-acted, fundamentally disturbing, the Good Horror Movie is rarely achieved, but when it is it can be one of the most memorable viewing experiences an audience member will ever have.

The second category is the Frickin’ Awesome Horror Movie. The Frickin’ Awesome Horror movie is, in fact, so terrible that it is totally amazing. Sometimes this is intentional (see: Cabin Fever), sometimes accidental (see: Plan 9 From Outer Space), but it’s a delight either way, and makes for excellent group viewings. The final category of horror films is the plain old Generic Crap Horror Movie. A vast majority of horror films fall in to this category and, sadly, the newest version of Prom Night is one of them. Read More »

My heart just sank.

Jim from The Office and Renée Zellweger? My Jim? How can this be?

The sarcastic, quick-witted, floppy-haired, big-smiled Jim, I realize, is just a fictional character in one of my favorite TV shows. But John Krasinski still one tall drink of water in real life, and he’s making a football new movie called Leatherheads.

Now, In Touch Weekly and whole spew of gossip blogs have reported that he’s hooking up with co-star Zellweger. It’s just because they both have confusing last names. Yep. Gotta be the reason.

While I don’t have anything against Renée - she is amazing at losing weight and she was awesome in Empire Records, Bridget Jones, and Jerry Maguire - she just doesn’t seem to possess the humor and playfulness Jim (I mean John) needs in a woman! You know who does? ME.

Why can’t she get back with Leatherheads’ director and star, George Clooney? They used to date before she married funny-looking Kenny Chesney, and were said to be on-again, off-again after the divorce. Well….go back to on-again, missy. Jim (I mean John) is MINE.

Well…Thursday nights from 8:30 to 9PM, anyway.