Just because you’ve finally hooked up with someone, doesn’t mean anything has been solidified or any questions have been answered. In fact, the love sesh may have raised even more questions: was it good? Was it just a fling, or were there feelings involved? Is it going to happen again? Should you regret it? Does he regret it? Can you go back in time and pretend it never happened?

Depending on the relationship you had with the guy before the hook-up; the scenarios in which you’ll interact after the hook-up; and how much discussion you had before, during, and after the hook-up, the first “reunion” can be totally smooth, or completely cringe-worthy. And, for the record, the first reunion does not include your first words the morning after when both of you are still in bed…naked…and possiby still drunk.

How do you deal? If your first meeting with your last fling falls into one of the following categories, you need to work on your post-play approach.

1. The Awkward Aversion

You don’t know how he feels, and if it means avoiding rejection, you’re fine not knowing. You may respond to his presence by interrupting someone else’s conversation to avoid having to talk to him, fumbling with your phone to appear busy, or simply leaving the room. This will come off as either immature or disinterested. If he does like you and you blatantly ignore him, he’ll think you regret it. Unlike girls who want what they can’t have, guys are more likely to give up if you’ve bruised their ego. If you do like him, I suggest developing a different method. Read More »

Okay, kiddies – it’s the last episode and for some reason, MTV has set up a challenge. Why? There are only two people left.

For the stupid ‘melt the ice to get to Tila’s heart’ challenge, the best friends from home get to help. But all of this effort and the best friends being flown out are not worth it for stripper room time. Bo and his friends win – absolutely nothing. There are no strippers in the strip club. The whole thing is lame. After like 2.5 hours, the friends are out.

So I think it’s the next day and it’s final date time. Bo polishes his shoes and I wonder who’s groomed his eyebrows throughout the filming of this show. The MTV interns made a sports bar set out of the “club” for the date. Bo, aren’t you annoyed that you polished your shoes for yet another in-house date? Couldn’t they spring for cars to take this to a real sports bar?

Bo’s been wearing his hospital bracelet since his return, which I totally didn’t catch. He’s going to give it to Tila when he gets his key. Awwww. Very endearing, but she doesn’t care, Bo. I’m sorry.

Kristy’s final date follows and Tila’s puts on a terrible jailbird dress to eat dinner by the fireplace. Kristy tells Tila that while she’s sure about her feelings, she’s unsure about her lack of experience with women. Not sexually – just in the relationship sense. Tila’s got too many emotions going on in her mind to hear that Kristy’s saying, “So maybe don’t pick me.” Read More »

It might be a genius idea to have the reunion show before the finale. I try to care enough to watch the reunions but usually they are a waste of my time. We don’t get much out of them; all we see is that after watching themselves on TV, the contestants have gone out and gotten new hair or lost weight or sat in a tanning bed for a while.

I don’t remember most of these people so I hope that I don’t have to hear them talk. I wish that Jay had missed his flight out of Jersey.

Everyone is out on stage except for Chad, Bo and Kristy. I guess Chad has to be kept away from Bo, especially if there’s some lawsuit lurking.

We’re treated to clips of everyone making fun of Jay because he sucks, Glitter because she’s crazy and George for being nocturnally creepy. What’s up with staying up all night to watch everyone sleep?

I wish that someone would fill a tube sock with silver dollars and smack Jay in the mouth to make him shut up. You are NOT a bad ass; CHAD had to fight ‘for’ you, little man, because you can’t head butt anyone in the face unless they’re too short to go on the upside down roller coasters at the county fair.

I don’t know who’s calling Jay out, but I like her. Who threw a chair at him? Haaaaa!!!!!! Do it, Jersey girl Lauren!!! Read More »

And here it is – the finale that no one really cares about.

I’m calling Thing 2 for the win since he flew her ass out to France for this.

T2, Sinceer and Black are the last three standing either in France or in Fort Lauderdale, I still haven’t figured this out. Someone’s going home in the morning, which means that we’re probably in for a sloppy, whiny night. I guess Black and T2 are going to gang up to get Sinceer and her forehead out.

And I was totally wrong – there was no sloppy ‘please don’t eliminate me’ hook up. Flav sits with them as they eat breakfast and pretends to be saddened by the decision that he was to make. He has three tickets in his hands – one to Paris, one to Monaco and one to LA.

T2 and her ginormous gold hoops are going to Paris.

Black hopes that Flav sees her for who she is – if who you are is that pair of massive breasts, then you’re set.

Flav makes Sinceer and Black give him reasons why they should go to Monaco with him and I refuse to listen to this. Apparently Flav doesn’t want to hear it either since it’s a lot of screaming and no words. Read More »

• Get Lauren Conrad a present! Because, you know, she needs one and all.

• Going to an Ugly Sweater Party this weekend? Check out some terrible ones…

• Have nothing to talk about when you’re home with the parents? Everyone loves a horrible, horrible joke!

• You’d think with the holidays around the corner mothers could give their kids a break…not so for this hard-ass mom!

• “Don’t tase me, bro!” is the top quote of 2007! Congrats?

• The internet is used for something positive! It’s a Christmas miracle!

• Nobody wants to see this picture anyway…

One of the most awkward moments in a college student’s life is the reunion; you know, the run-in/re-introduction/avoidance that can only come following a random hook up. It is one of the many moments in college that we try to avoid, this one being up there with “hangover for an exam” and “beer poop in the library.”

Unfortunately, it is a moment we all must embrace and take in stride if we ever want to move on…or do it again.

So, how does one handle the reunion? Is there a way to make this interaction awkward free, or are we doomed to spend the rest of our college days hiding in corners and avoiding any place that may hold people of the opposite sex? I can’t tell you what you should do, but I can speak from experience in telling you what you should not do under any circumstances, no matter how good of an idea you think it is at the time.

1. Re-introduce yourself: I met a guy at my friend’s party. We “hung out” at the party for a bit, but then returned to our respective homes where the beer wore off and I got a good sober look at the male I was hangin’ with. And I left. The following week I was at the bar with my friend when we spotted this anonymous male getting a drink across the way. My friend decided it would be a good idea to make things fun (for everyone but me) and invite my party-pal over.

“You remember Lauren, don’t you?” My friend asked.

“Hi, Lauren. I’m Joe.”

Um. I know exactly who you are, JOE. And you know me, too. Don’t remember me? Maybe if I close my eyes, lean in real close and stick my tongue in your mouth. Would that jog your memory? Ugh. I was livid. How could he sit there and pretend not to know me?! Let me just say that it took a lot of convincing (read: beer) to get me to agree to go home with him at the end of the night. Read More »

Thanksgiving is a-comin’, ladies! Time for some turkey, stuffing (my absolute favorite treat on earth) and reuniting with all your old home friends. Oh, and hopefully a major shopping spree with mom. Is there any other reason to come home?

For those of you lucky ladies who are finally 21 (or those of you with a really good fake), Thanksgiving also means taking part in the biggest bar night of the year! I remember my first Wednesday-Before-Thanksgiving bar experience…at least until I blacked out due to the extreme levels of awkwardness and puked in my parents’ house.

Try explaining that one to dad when he finds you passed out next to the toilet the following morning.

Anyways, being that it is the biggest bar night of the year, there are so many things to know! And, being that I have been doing it for a little while now, I feel I am the perfect person to enlighten you on what to expect and how to deal.

What to Expect: Running into people you never liked and still don’t like.
How to Deal: I tend to hightail it to the bar, but if you don’t want to end up looking up at your dad from the tile floor the next morning, perhaps playing nice is a good idea. You know; pretend to care what they have to say, tell them how good they look and politely bow out when you (pretend to) see a friend across the room.

What to Expect: Saying the same things over (and over and over) again.
How to Deal: I recommend printing a t-shirt that includes the following information: what school you go to, what (if any) sorority you are in, and an acknowledgment to the fact that you gained/lost weight. When you realize that these are the topics discussed all freaking night long you will thank me. Read More »

For the first time since graduation, my college roommates and I made a return trip to Ann Arbor for a weekend reunion full of drinking, Michigan football and a general return to the life of college students. I can’t even tell you how excited I was to get back to campus and run amok around the town; visit our old house, drink at our favorite bars and, of course, visit our favorite late night eateries.

And for all intents and purposes, the weekend far exceeded the fun-factor I was anticipating. I got my Long Island Iced Teas and ate my New York style White Pizza. I watched the Wolverines win (even if it was a crappy team) and finally picked up my Michigan Alumni t-shirt.

It was perfect.

But this weekend also made me realize some very key post-graduation truths:

1. I can’t drink like I used to: In the old days I could down a couple (10) cocktails and dance the night away only to wake up the next morning, hit the gym and get to class. Not anymore, my friends. After getting good and drunk on Saturday night, I am still experiencing a hangover. And it is Tuesday. On the plus side: I still got my boozey-moves on the dance floor…and the videos to prove it.

2. College bars are cheap: I always used to hate those grads who came back to campus and screamed about how cheap the drinks were. Now that I am a grad, I have to scream it: drinks are so cheap! Nowhere else can a group of girls get 8 pitchers, a round of shots and 3 orders of cheese fries for $95 including tip! I may have even taken a picture of the bill. Read More »