So there I was, mentally bitching about how complicated the Lost season finale is going to be tonight and how for the life of me I can’t follow Ikea directions, when I happened to stumble across this article. What’s the gist of this article? Well, basically, it’s all about how MONKEYS ARE CONTROLLING ROBOTS WITH THEIR MINDS.

I’m not joking. Seems like scientists have recently discovered how to get cute little monkeys to control a small robotic arm to help them grab food. A small grid “about the size of a large freckle” was surgically implanted in a few macaques, allowing them to use cognitive thinking to make a robot arm grab stuff they want. Scientists believe this is a huge step towards finding better ways to help human amputees.

Dr. John F. Kalaska, a neuroscientist at the University of Montreal, believes this new experiment, no matter how young, might someday help “patients with severe motor deficits to interact and communicate with the world not only by the moment-to-moment control of the motion of robotic devices, but also in a more natural and intuitive manner that reflects their overall goals, needs and preferences.”

I’m sure Kalaska and all the other scientists are right, but for some reason, I just can’t stop thinking about monkeys in sunglasses systematically destroying the earth with giant, mind-controlled machines of death.

…I guess I need to lay off the SciFi channel.

I mean, I’ve heard of being afraid of intimacy before, but this guy takes it to a whole new level. This guy built a robot girlfriend.That’s right, a robot girlfriend. Dude was a 33-year-old virgin until he met (read: MADE) Alice, his robot girlfriend who includes a chatbox to talk through and a teledildonic device, which, I assure you, is exactly what it sounds like.

I’m sorry, but this is straight out of a Philip K. Dick novel. I find it really frightening that there are actual people who are so emotionally and sexually disfunctional that they need to build robots to have relationships with. Read More »

There is a God!

Or, that’s what I would be saying if I was a dude upon learning about rubbot.com and their plans to design a revolutionary new sex toy aimed at men.

Hands-free orgasms! It’s like having a girlfriend — minus the girl! Which, depending on who you ask, isn’t always a bad thing.

The design kind of reminds me of those water snakes I had as a kid. They fold into themselves and move very fluidly…much like…genitals? Perfect! This is called the “Inch Worm Effect” and is effective at getting dudes off. And fast.

The guys behind Rubbot are looking for beta-testers too! Know a guy who’s in a rut? Be a pal and send the info along…at least you won’t have to hear about he’s not getting any for awhile. Read More »