Being a fan of I Love New York, Rock of Love and, the show that started them all, Flavor of Love, I was stoked to hear about a new show coming to VH1 that puts together the classiest (i.e., trashiest) contestants ever to grace the VH1 stage. Sunday night, I tuned in to see the characters parade in the house (which is totally sick by the way – where does VH1 come up with these ideas?!) and get inevitably hammered, only to compete in ridiculous stunt after stunt. (Can we say The Real World Inferno on crack?)

Let me just comment on a few of the wonderful tidbits of the season premier that reassured viewers that this will be reality at its finest:
Twelve-Pack and Heather. So, Rock of Love’s no.1 craziest bitch is going to get it on with the speedo, spandex wearing drunk who, despite from his abs, is about one tap dance away from being the most sexually confused man on television.
Brandi C. You spray painted your dog pink. PINK. You are not Paris Hilton honey and even she hasn’t stooped to that level yet. Read More »

It’s finally happened. I’ve finally completely lost my mind.

How do I know? Because I’m really, really looking forward to this.

Yes, you understood that video correctly–there is going to be a show in which reality “stars” from Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, and I Love New York compete for cash (specifically, $250,000). And not the actual stars. It’s going to be the doofuses (doofii?) who competed for the lame stars’ hearts. (Note: New York is not lame. New York is a marvel of nature whose delightful bizarreness I will love for always. Just so’s ya know.)

Annnnyway, let’s take a look at the cast, shall we?

Brandi C. from Rock of Love
That weird blonde chick from the first season who kept calling Bret her boyfriend is back for the moolah. Having tried porn after she got off the show (frankly, not surprising), she was ready to jump back on the screen and into our hearts. Wait, did I say hearts? I meant nightmares.

The Entertainer from I Love New York
The crazo who got kicked off the show for living with his parents is back for more. This guy was pretty freaking crazy–there was an episode where he was convinced the house was haunted, so he wouldn’t take off his construction helmet. And I mean; what those two wacko things even have to do with one another I do not know. Read More »

Rock of Love; can you believe people are still actually talking about it? Well, I can…because I am still talking about it. Looks like Ambre wants the world to know that she and Bret are definitely together . And when she says definitely, she really means maybe. After the whole “I can’t believe I told Bret that I’m 31 and not 85″ fiasco, I can’t quite trust her.

Then again, considering that she has taken the time to respond to Daisy’s TMZ “Bret and I hung out and didn’t talk” video, maybe I should believe her this time.

There are so many thoughts running through my mind….

First of all, I love that TMZ would even waste a camera on Daisy. Where does one find Daisy during the day?

Second, I’m pretty sure Ambre’s too old to be sharing news on Myspace. Isn’t there a site for old people (like Friendster?) And, don’t you work in entertainment? I thought you had a show. Use that as your vehicle, Geritol.

Finally, knowing what I know about, A) Bret and Ambre, and B) The history of I-Am-Going-On-TV-To-Find-My-True-Love TV show romances (The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Flavor of Love, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila) the Bret/Ambre (Brambre?) relationship will self-destruct in another 4 minutes; which, not so coincidentally, is how much longer the two of them can ride the Rock of Love fame train.

[Photo courtesy of realitywanted.com]

Quickly, make a list of your top five least favorite celebrities, celebrities that you would go so far as to say that you really hated.

Now how many of those are women?

According to an article from BBC News, female celebrities seem to bear the brunt of the world’s popular culture-related displeasure. A British poll stated that four of the top five most-hated celebrities were female and the top five most-loved celebrities were all male (strangely, Simon Cowell showed up on both lists).

If this poll is an accurate indication of the way societies view celebrity, there seems to be a misogynist slant against females that is fairly representative of the way women in general are viewed by the world. That is to say, female celebrities are vilified for the same reasons that females are vilified by culture as a whole: they are catty, or overly ambitious and assertive, or bad mothers, or too sensitive, or greedy. It doesn’t need to be pointed out that many of these qualities would be applauded in a man.

But before this goes too angry and feminist, the saddest and scariest part of the article was that most of the anger directed at females in the spotlight come not from men, but from other women. Women no doubt influenced by history and society’s unrealistic expectations of them, but women nonetheless. Read More »

With dozens of submitted suggestions in our “9 Things Your Parents Would Get Pissed About If You Spent $500 On” giveaway, we have chosen the top 3–and now you must vote for the best. The winner will receive a $500 American Express gift-card courtesy of TuitionBids.com.

Voting ends on Friday at noon, so check out the top three after the jump and let us know which is best. Read More »

Let’s just get right into this. I’m calling Daisy the Blow Fish/Skank Spice/Stripper with the Plastic Face for the win.

The show starts with the elimination that we saw from the previous episode, with Bret telling Ambre and Daisy to pack it up for Cancun. Bret’s excited because VH1 planned some great stuff at the Me by Melia Cancun.

Once they arrive and get setteld, the three go to dinner. Bret has questions for the ladies - but Daisy pulls out a list of questions of her own and Ambre and I are suprised at her reading and writing abilities. Blow Fish asks Bret about how he’s always referring to their physical attraction and Bret says that it’s because Daisy is still a “mystery” to him. There’s no mystery in Hep C, Bret.

Ambre tells Daisy that she leads with her sexuality and I don’t think that Daisy understands what that means.

Bret moves on to tell Ambre that her “win at all costs” attitude throws him off - and then she throws me off by kissing Bret. Was that to shut him up? Is Ambre all about her TV hosting career?

Anyway, Ambre and her two-toned hair have a date the next day, Daisy the day after.

So the next day as Ambre’s about to go on her Bret date, Daisy tells Ambre that it hurt her feelings when Ambre said that she leads with her sexuality. “I’m not afraid to be sexy.” It turns into Daisy telling Ambre that Ambre’s feeling inadequate and then Daisy tries to imitate Ambre’s walk. Ambre walks like a hunchback? Oh, Daisy, Ambre and the rest of the female population wish that they could be like you. Read More »

Following in the footsteps of celebrity-cum-designer greats such as the Olson Twins and Kathy Ireland, Hills star Heidi Montag has created her own line for the clothing store chain Anchor Blue.

The line, which is called Heidiwood and goes on sale today, April 15th, consists of some pants, a few shirts, tiny shorts, a couple of dresses, and an assortment of accessories that I can only surmise were inspired by the WalMart Spring ’06 collection.

There’s nothing innovative or exciting here, just some generic cheap sh*t that you could get for even cheaper at Forever 21. But, I WILL give Miss ButterFace Fake Jugs some credit and say that the line is not horrible, and there are a few things I would probably actually purchase (on sale, of course).

And, bless her heart, she has to do something to keep busy while waiting for Rock of Love Season 3 to start taping.

I think it’s the eyeliner. And the bandana. That tattooed biker androgyny with a catalogue of hair band ballads and liquid sex. Those not-too-tight but not-too-loose perfectly faded bootcut jeans and vintage t-shirts, the flowing hair oh, and that bandana. And the eyeliner. Definitely the eyeliner.

I can’t help it. I’m a lesbian in love with Bret Michaels.

I don’t care that he’s 45, or from Pennsylvania, the most un-glam, un-hard, un-rocking state. Or that he has two kids. Or that he likes the Steelers. When I look at Bret, clouds turn to rainbows and puppies and bunnies frolic across my bedroom floor. And when I watch Rock of Love, I could care less about the 25 girls—all I see is Bret.

Alright. I know I sound like every other obsessive fan girl. In fact, I haven’t been this obsessed with a celebrity since Hanson back in 7th grade. I mean, there must be a good reason for it. Maybe it’s the country thing. I grew up in a small town, I had a horse, I played in the dirt and built BMX jumps and didn’t have cable until high school. My mom taught me young the value of a man in a good pair of cowboy boots and a Stetson. Maybe that’s it. Bret’s like home to me. Minus the septic tank. Read More »