[Read day three HERE]

…Or maybe it’s the gender distinction of romance and love.

It’s been my understanding that the majority of guys do not watch rom-coms without mentally noting what things someone would obviously do if they loved you; that they in fact can listen to a John Legend song without awaiting a diamond ring; that they can even watch that sappy Hershey’s Kiss commercial (the one where the guy special orders all those Kisses with the little tags that say ‘I miss you’ for his lady) and never register that might be something you would actually do for the one you Love. Talk about a revelation.

Talk about a productive night’s sleep. I just woke up with this brain child.

It may not be the ’solution’ to all this, but it is kind of brilliant in figuring this whole thing out; maybe I am not so unreasonable as a hopeless romantic, but rather just sh*t-out-of-luck as far as finding a guy who is on the same page to provide me with all the things I am waiting for, all the time. Read More »

A few weeks ago I was on the treadmill at the gym watching the preliminary festivities for the Kentucky Derby, when I realized what my life is missing.

Giant. Ornate. Hats.

For realzies; Derby-style hats are the sh*t, for multiple reasons. For one, like all hats, they immediately cover a bad hair day. But, Derby hats are so huge and ostentatious, they can also distract from a host of other problems, such as a bad face day (don’t lie to yourself, you know you’ve had one). That said, in addition to helping to conceal appearance issues, Derby hats are also good for drawing attention in a crowd, because, lets face it, how often are people wearing hats with two foot brims covered in netting and ribbons and feathers and roses?

They’re perfect for meeting friends in a crowded area or helping a blind date pick you out at a bar. Also, Derby hats = insta-glamour. Whether paired with a frothy tulle ball gown or jeans and a tank top, Derby hats make a lady instantly look fabulously feminine and alluring. Don’t believe me? Watch an Audrey Hepburn movie and then try to tell me megahats aren’t the sh*t. Read More »

[You can read the last installment of Chasing Chastity here]

“What’s going on?”

“Where are you, babe?” I crunched on a vodka-infused ice cube and sipped the remains of my tenth cocktail.

“I’m on my way home for lunch. I have about two hours between classes, so I thought I’d grab a quick bite. You wanna make me a sandwich?”

“Uhhh . . . sure?”

I bolted from the couch and knocked the phone out of my hand. As I bent down to retrieve it, I tripped over the dog, and smashed my head into our coffee table.

Immobilized, bleeding, I drifted off . . .

“Glenn? Glenn? Honey?” Jason’s tie brushed against my nose and a few mumbling shadows lurked behind him. It turned out those ominous figures were a team of paramedics.

“Mr. Woodson, it looks like your wife was drinking at the time of the fall. We need to check for signs of a concussion. If she checks out, then she won’t need to come to the E.R. with us.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it,” Jason said. He turned away from the shadowy figures, and crouched near my face. “Jesus, am glad I came home. What would’ve happened to you if I hadn’t? Your face is covered in dried blood.” Read More »

Some girls want roses and romantic music. They want Prince Charming to sweep them off their damn feet and whisper sweet nothings into their ears. They want sex to be the ultimate expression of love and passion; candles lit and wine. They want their man to go slow and worship every inch of their body one minute at a time. But those aren’t most girls.

Sure, sure, this sounds good to most girls…but only as an occasional thing. Who wants THIS every night? (Besides the aforementioned ’some’ girls)

Some new research has been released that testifies to the fact that most people — women included — want their sex to be rather simple. This survey was led by sex therapists across the US and Canada and the results are in: Most people consider 7-13 minutes of sex desirable. 3-7 minutes is apparently ‘adequate’ and 10-30 minutes is said to actually be ‘too long’.

So what happened to all of the damsels in distress who crave long love making sessions? Are they just too busy now? I mean, lets face it, women certainly do have more opportunities across the board these days to work whatever job they want and to pursue whatever else in their free time. Maybe women don’t care about how long their man spends smooching their thighs anymore because they simply have better things to do than have Romance Novel sex with a wanna be Fabio?

What do you think? What’s YOUR desired sexy time??