So, I really don’t care about what is going on with crazy cheeks Madonna and her soon-to-be ex husband, Guy Ritchie. But everywhere I turn there is news about these two. Any by “news” I mean “really embarassing stories.”

It seems like every hour either Madonna or Guy are coming out with a vicious and, oftentimes, scarring statement about the other.

Guy Ritchie, obviously hurt by his ex wife’s indescretions with A-Rod, has said that Madonna looks like a “granny on stage,” and that having sex with her was like, “hugging a piece of gristle.”

Madonna fired back by calling him “emotionally retarded,” and claiming Guy was “just after my money.”

Just another typical case of post breakup he said/she said.

It doesn’t matter if you are a celebrity or just a college girl scorned by her cheating boyfriend, breakups always cause the gloves to come off and the truth to come out. Especially the most embarassing and hurtful truths. Anyone who knows me knows all about my ex’s issues (”Yeah, cuz sex for 1.5 minutes is GREAT!”), and after my BFF’s particularly painful breakup, the entire campus knows about her ex’s farting issues during sex. Ew.

Anyways, breakups cause pain and pain causes people to resort to just about anything to make themselves feel better. Like talking sh*t. Which Guy and Madonna have mastered.

So I want to know: what are some of the crazier things that have come out after your big breakups? Leave your responses in the comments section below; we wanna know all the juicy deets.

As the Olympics began this past Friday night and many Americans were joined together in front of TV screens to cheer for Team USA, ABC’s Nightline took some of the spotlight away with a revealing interview with Senator John Edwards to discuss his confession to an extramarital affair that he had previously denied. He admitted that he had outwardly lied about his affair with 44 year-old Rielle Hunter, shaking up his image as a devoted husband and family man. John Edwards claims it was a short liaison with Hunter in 2006, and, though he had told his wife not long after, he has been keeping the story under wraps.

The host of Nightline had no qualms about digging deep into Edwards’ motives:

WOODRUFF: Your wife, Elizabeth, is probably the most admired and beloved person in this country, she’s had enormous sympathy because she’s also gone through cancer, how could you have done this?

Not really an easy question to answer. Edwards didn’t do the greatest job of answering it, either. He starts off informing Woodruff that she was actually in remission during the affair, which he states was obviously no excuse (well, of course not). Edwards did make a good point that he, like many other politicians/CEOs/people of inflated power and stature have, fell prey to egotism, narcissism, and overall self-importance which led him to act like he was beyond the acceptable moral code of society.

The interview continued with his denial of being the father of Hunter’s child and that he was photographed with her baby (though his language presents an “answer” but still seems to kind of get out of it). He also denies that he was paying any hush money to Hunter (even though evidence suggests otherwise). Read More »

As promised, I want to continue this series on why I find Jessica and Ashlee to be so insidious. As another esteemed blogger pointed out today, Papa Joe is up to something bad (again) with Ashlee and her overly eye-lined lover, Pete Wentz.

[On a side note: Pete, what, what, darling are you thinking? Didn’t you see what happened to Nick? I know you got a new deal with Nordstrom, and I guess that’s cool, but what’s making you so delusional? I mean, couldn’t you find another plasticized gal to replace Ashlee? I mean, it’s not Ashlee, it’s the fact that you’re marrying her dad, too! The guy is a creep, a class-A creep. Didn’t you watch the Newlyweds, or did the clan make you sign some contract, in which you agreed to NEVER pop it into your DVD machine?]

Let’s get back to the juicy stuff, and let Pete learn his own lesson. (I’ll be the first to express my sympathies to you, Mr. Wentz).

So, rumors abound in Hollyweird. Yes, there’s a whole lot of concern about Ashlee’s “bump.” (Hold on, I gotta go vomit. That overly used words makes me sick. Bump sightings here, there, everywhere – even guys have bumps these days!) There are so many friggin’ pregnancy rumors about Ashlee, you’d think the “rumor machine” would explode. If that’s the case, however, and Ashlee is pregnant, then let’s have a moment of silence. Why? Cuz’ Papa Joe is gonna appear at his vilest. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 194
Mood: Protective

“what’d you do this weekend?” Naima, Rebecca and I were walking back from the science building, each of us weighed down by the heavy books of our respective classes. For the first time all week, the sun was out, and it was more than twenty degrees. We could walk slowly, pull our scarves away from our faces and actually talk, instead of running from one class to another.

“I didn’t do much…” Heaving my backpack higher onto my shoulders, I dodged a puddle next to me on the grass. “Just sort of stayed in and studied.”

“What?” Naima was obviously disgusted. “You studied? On Saturday?”

Rebecca laughed, sliding her eyes over to mine. She had been in studying with me most of the weekend, but had the sense to keep her mouth shut about her lack of excitement.

“It was too cold!”

“Too cold?” Naima was even more disgusted. “I can’t believe we’re friends. The weather is no excuse to stay away from parties!”

I dodged another puddle and smiled helplessly, hoping that Naima would see my reclusive weekend as simple laziness. The truth was that I hadn’t been going out for a few weekends now. There were people I didn’t want to see. Read More »

You know how everyone’s telling teenage girls to stay away from drugs, sex, and bitchy behavior?

Well, someone wants to put a stop to all the preaching.

Coolest Girl in School, a “mobile phone based game” (a term which makes me feel old, since I have no idea what it is) is about to debut in Australia, and parents are pissed.

“Game developer and producer” Holly Owen, the (no) brains behind this new game, says that the point behind Coolest Girl is to “”lie, bitch and flirt your way to the top of the high school ladder“, a description that makes me think Owen has “cool” confused with “total asshole”.

“It’s not about glorifying bad things, it’s about giving young girls the opportunity to play around with high school.” Owen says about her horrible idea, going on to muse “It’s a pretty ironic game because things that might seem obviously cool like taking drugs and smoking might work against you because you have to go to rehab or have stinky breath when the captain of the football team comes to speak to you.” Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 87
Mood: Kinda freaked

“So, should we start?”

As much as I could have stared back and forth from Sasha’s eyes to his friend’s bare chest forever, I didn’t want to spend my entire Saturday at the Soccer House. Eventually, the rest of the guys were going to wake up, and I wanted to be out of there before I was surrounded by some of the most infamous people on campus.

Maybe the rumors weren’t true. Maybe the Scandal everyone was still whispering about had been blown out of proportion, but as far as I knew, Sammy still wasn’t in class, and Public Safety had been seen patrolling around the Soccer House at night way more than usual.

Rumors always come from somewhere, and I wanted to be out the door before I found out just how close to the truth they were.

“Sure. Let’s start. I just gotta run upstairs and grab my book.” Sasha stood, kicking the table in the process and flinching. “Of course I forgot my book. Be right back.”

Jumping over the side of the couch and heading toward the stairs, Sasha clunked up the steps, his bare feet making enough noise on the old wood to wake up the entire house.

I stared down at my Chemistry book, turning the pages and pretending to be so interested in the equations that I had no idea the half-undressed guy was still in the kitchen, rummaging around in the refrigerator. I let my hair fall into my face, doing my best to stay quiet and blend into the old green cushions. Read More »

I was out at the bar last night (on a weeknight, I know! Who do I think I am?! A college student?!) and ran into a friend of my ex.

We started talking and as we sat down together at a table in the corner, she looked at me in all seriousness and asked, “So, are you ok?”

I thought maybe she heard about my massive PMS cramps or the fact that my recent mild-obsession with running had left me with some serious blisters on the bottom of my feet.

After all, the boy and I broke up months ago and – as anyone who knows the truth knows – I ended things with him; the thought that this is what she was referring to never crossed my mind.

“Yeah, I mean, the blisters make it a bitch to walk in these heels, but this Amstel Light is totally numbing the pain.”

Her uncomfortable giggle made me realize that my feet were not the focus of her sympathy. She mentioned something about the boy and how it had to sorta suck when he dumped me. And something about how I must be sad about it because I can’t seem to stop calling him, no matter how many times he ignores me and never calls me back.

Insert the sound of tires coming to a screeching halt.
WHAT?! Read More »

The internet was the enabler behind most of my middle school drama.

The enigmatic anonymity that the web provides was a big green light for mean teenagers to harass other mean teenagers without the consequences of face-to-face confrontations. And it was this online shield that facilitated the worst culprit behind my pubescent angst: the fake screenname.

Fake screennames were the best way to tear your enemy (or popular best friend) apart incognito. You could lash out ruthlessly, ruin lives and then delete said screenname without being linked to any of the drama that would surely ensue.

I will never forget my most potent digital nemesis: ClawYourEyesOut. ClawYourEyesOut not only harassed me on a nightly basis with the unoriginal “slut,” “bitch” name-calling. He/she also IMed my adorable little boyfriend Brad and my bitchy, gullible friends and spread nasty rumors which quickly turned them against me.

And even though ClawYourEyesOut brutally defamed my reputation, there was nothing I could do about it. To this day, ClawYourEyesOut’s identity still eludes me.

But thanks to two female Yale Law School grads—who suffered a magnified version of my ClawYourEyesOut saga, online anonymity may not be such an impenetrable issue in the future.

The two women are trying to uncover the identity of 28 pseudonyms behind discussion board posts that spread rumors about their academic records, sexuality and even threatened rape. Read More »