The tensions are as high as their heels this week, with four models left competing for the title of America’s Next Top Model.

The girls arrive home to find a note from Tyra telling them that she is sending them to “the great mall of China.” C’mon, that’s pretty clever!

The girls head to the mall in the morning in search of an outfit to recreate the look of one of the four beauties they heard stories about—and this is where some eyebrow-raising model sabotage begins. After wasting time wandering off on the other side of the mall, Bianca runs into Jenah—and gleefully tells her that she just has to check out that area, knowing full well she won’t find much.

Jenah gets back in time to show off her outfit in a casual runway show and gets her sweet revenge by winning the challenge. In addition to getting a dress made especially for her and a friend (Chantal), she also gets one-on-one runway lessons from Miss Jay. We’ll see how those help her if she makes it to the final two!

The next morning, the models head to the Great Wall to be made over into warriors. And their photographer is, drumroll please—Tyra! Is there anything she can’t do? (Oh right: sing, act, make music videos…) Both Chantal and Jenah do well, though Tyra takes issue with Jenah not knowing who she is. “She’s a good model, but who is she?” asks Tyra.

Right, let’s pretend this is a soul searching competition. It’s barely even a modeling competition! Read More »

America’s Next Top Model got batsh*t crazy last night, when the girls practiced runway walking while wearing straightjackets. Seriously.

Miss Jay explained that often in couture shows, you have to walk in constricting costumes. Which is a fine explanation and all if more than a handful of past ANTM contestants have ever walked on a runway after the show.

The green van takes the girls back to the house, where Bianca calls Saleisha “borderline plus-size,” which, you know, makes me the poster child for morbid obesity.

Bianca goes on to say that she’ll “bring bitches down,” and will stoop to cutting up clothes, but don’t let the red hair fool you! She’s a real model and she can be couture!

Uh, what? Someone needs anger management classes a bit more than runway training, methinks.

A couture runway show is up next, and I’m officially in love with Victoria. She has the most interesting face in the competition other than Janet. Saleisha wins the challenge and Bianca sneers and bitches and makes me loathe her more.

The bondage theme of the episode continues with a photo shoot involving ropes and couture. You know, just another day climbing a rock wall in a designer gown. My favorites were Heather and Victoria (sorry Janet!), but the whole thing just didn’t do much for me. Read More »