Today, while sitting in the salon in my hometown and having the prerequisite hairdresser chit chat with the guy who’s been doing my hair since high school, the old “so, you got a boyfriend?” question came up.

These days, I don’t even try to stop my chuckle when I answer, “nope”.

We talked a little about why my river has run so dry for so long, and as he ran his scissors through my bangs, my hometown hairdresser goes “well, it’s probably because you’re a real person.”

This is not the first time I’ve been called real. And it’s not the first time this “realness” has been connected to me being single.

What are we to surmise from this?

Does being real immediately put me in some kind of realness cage? A desolate place where people who can’t be anything other than themselves are gawked at by the rest of the fake society? Is being real like having some kind of horrible birthmark on my face — something that frightens potential suitors away with its blatant obviousness? Are we real people like the cyclops kitten; so weird no one wants to get too close but can’t exactly look away? Read More »

My roomie once said, in a conversation that I very much regret missing, “You know, I could see why you would trim your bush if it got a little out of hand…but I don’t know why the hell you would cut the whole thing down. It just makes your lawn look funny!” And, no, we were not talking about horticulture.

Au naturale doesn’t really seem to be the method of style in female nether regions. It supposedly looks neater when it’s taken care of. I know a lot of girls who keep themselves trimmed, and quite a few who wax. It’s easier than shaving, I’ve heard said. You don’t get the obnoxious bumps that you normally get when you shave that inevitably leads to impromptu itchy dances. Not to mention it’s a lot neater and it takes longer to grow back. I never really supported it; it didn’t even seem like it was worth the effort to me, not to mention I’m not sure how I feel about men who want their women’s parts to look prepubescent. Still, I’d heard so much… Read More »

I may be living on a McDonalds budget these days, but growing up with some of the finer things in life have left me with some Caviar taste.

I am not talking about yachts or private jets; more like pretty handbags and a little bit of pampering. And while I can’t always afford the things I adore, I have become quite deft at finding deals on some of life’s little luxuries. Like the manicure. Nothing makes me feel good at the end of a rough week like a good finger soak and coat of Wicked.

But, even with the low prices at many nail shops these days, throwing away $12 on something that is going to chip, crack and have to be re-done in a week is hard for a lady on a budget.

Doing it yourself, though, is easier than you think and will save you tons of money without having to sacrifice a sexy set of hands. Read More »

Women love to pamper themselves. You know it, I know it, the American people know it. Hell, even I’ve hit up the spa on occasion to see what all the fuss is about.

But isn’t there a point when all this narcissistic pampering goes a little too far? By all accounts, the answer is a resounding no. Want proof? Apparently, the hip new trend to hit spas across the country is the butt facial. Yes, you read that correctly. The Butt Facial.

Now, I’ve never gotten, or even born witness to, an actual facial, so I’m not exactly the resident expert here. From what I can gather, the method for facializing (is that a word, and if not, can we make it one?) the butt is almost identical to that of getting an actual facial.

There’s quite a bit of cleaning (ultra-important where the butt is concerned) with a dash of detoxifying (not sure at all what that does, but it sounds healthy enough).

But I guess the real catalyst behind the butt facial craze is the second half of the process, which involves a type of electro-shock therapy designed to reduce cellulite and increase butt firmness.

The deafening silence you’re hearing now is the sound of every one of my readers jetting off to the nearest spa.

Unfortunately for the “regular” people among us, the procedure is running customers upwards of $800 a pop. Heyyy…welcome back everyone! Read More »

Me and manicures, we have a love / hate relationship.

In my mind, the French Manicure represents a woman who has it all together; she’s smart, has things organized in cute little boxes on her desk, doesn’t have clothes strewn around her room, owns outfits that match, and is successful enough to spend $10 a week on nail upkeep. Perfectly painted fingers are the hallmark of chic and classy.

So, why oh why am I hopeless when it comes to keeping them that way?

Not being able to preserve a French mani makes me feel like a loser. A childish idiot who can’t maintain even the simplest womanly fashion. How hard is it to keep one’s nails at a nicely filed length? How difficult is it to keep that pretty white line from chipping off?

If you’re me, very hard. Incredibly hard. Impossible. Read More »

In the past couple of years, I have gone through numerous Shu Uemura eyelash curlers since they are always listed as MVP beauty products by magazines such as Allure.

Even though these particular curlers are rated as “the best,” my eyelashes are still flat and wilted after a full day of activity.

Thanks to a recent beauty trend, I can now get a semi-permanent eyelash “perm.” I know, it sounds really weird, but after looking more into it, I have decided it is something I actually might consider (if I had unlimited funds to spend on something vain like this).

The original hint about the procedure came to me via my Daily Candy newsletter delivered to my inbox every morning.

Supposedly it is safe and works on all lashes, no matter what length you have. The total process only takes 30-45 minutes and is done in two steps: first, eyelashes are curled over rubber rollers, then two different solutions are applied. Read More »

Lately, I am bored. Everyday is the same ol’ blah, blah, blah as the day before- same classes, same parties, same guys, same bullsh@#. My life needs a serious jumpstart, a quick rub of the paddles- “Charging… and… Clear!”

So in times like these, there is only one thing a girl can do- get a new Do.

Losu.org put together a fantastic list of 16 modernly sexy hairstyles that are certain to get you back on your game.

The Wavy Shag                                                                                The Short Shag

The Long Shag                                                                                             The Pixie

Which Do is Your Fav?

Click here to see more hairstyles.