Spencer and Heidi keep talking. Burn hole in my brain.

Tom and Katie are still married…and happy.

Rhode Island mandates domestic violence education in schools.

Sarah Palin damns us all to hell. See ya there!

Lakisha Jones (from American Idol) got married…and everyone is really excited.

Leo can’t be anything but sexy.

No more sexy time for Brad and Angelina.

God, we wish we worked at airport security right about now.

Women don’t let this recession get in our way of beauty!

Justin Bobby and LC? NO WAY!

Happy (sorta) Birthday, Miley Cyrus!

Do you experience drunk-o-vision?

Amy Winehouse’s nose says, “I QUIT!”

Ashley Simpson and Pete Wentz (fashion) emergency.

Did Joe Biden have a little work done? (We knew it!)

Let’s face it, American Idol might have had a few suspect contestants (Sanjaya) and a few unsuccessful winners (Taylor) but, this seventh season, the show absolutely got it RIGHT. I have been following the season from remote Colombia and even from South America I know real talent when I see it. David Cook is it.

That said, this season has seen the best talent I have ever seen. Brooke, Jason, and Carly would have been just as deserving of the title. I am so pumped about this season’s show that, as a girl from Hawaii, I am very tempted to fly over to California this summer to check out the American Idol Top 10 Tour.

I can’t wait for Cook’s album and hope that the producers give him space to be just as original as he’s been all season. (Who would have thought this rocker could pull off Lionel Richie’s “Hello” and Mariah Carey’s “Always Be My Baby” within six weeks?) Don’t get me wrong, Archuleta is an extremely gifted 17 year old, but America should usher in this summer with a major celebration for getting it right this year!

David Cook, congratulations!!! You rock!

Yup. The juggernaut known as American Idol started up again last night, crash landing into the state of Philadelphia and finding more than enough weirdoes to go with the splashes of talent.

The 7th season will undoubtedly bring a whole new crop of talented-yet-strangely-un-marketable contestants (Remember Ruben? Taylor Hicks? Katharine McPhee? All dropped from their label), snide remarks from Simon, and a crapload of unnecessary tears.

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it all before, but I could be tempted to watch agan…if someone Sanjaya-esque pops up. He may not have been able to sing or dress himself, but he sure knew how to make those 12-year-olds cry.

Speaking of crying, what about the dude who wrote that creepy stalker song for Paula?! Eesh. Someone get him a hobby

I’m one of the three people in the world who hated High School Musical.

I thought the writing was terrible, the songs were worse, and the acting was mind-numbingly bad. Granted, it was written for kids, and I guess it was fine for someone just wheening themselves off Sesame Street and the Disney Channel, but when it comes to the over-16 crowd who worship the movie, I just don’t understand.

Another thing I don’t understand is the magical pull of Zac Efron.

I mean, he kind of looks like he’s made of wax. A 12-year-old wax figurine. I know he’s almost 20, but he sure doesn’t look it, and if it wasn’t all over the place that he was dating what’s-her-name, I’d bet $100 dollars his ass was gay.

So why is he so famous? I think it’s the same reason Sanjaya and Clay Aiken (two boys who should just give up and step out of the closet) were /are so popular. Tween girls love guys who look harmless, sweet, and perfectly groomed. Read More »

It seems like yesterday that all of us were forced (ok, willingly obliged) to sit through the two hour weekly spectacle of American Idol. I can still hear Simon’s snarky comments, Paula’s drunken ramblings, and Randy’s so-white-how-can-you-be-black-“dawgs” in the back of my mind.

Sanjaya seems to have thankfully faded into pop culture history, and we’re yet to see if the American Idol curse will hit Jordin, or skip over her in a Carrie Underwood manor.

Seriously, didn’t it just end? So why, oh why are there already audition dates for the upcoming season? Is it so brave people don’t have to sit through horrible weather as they have in the past? Is it so Fox and the producers of AI can milk advertisers for even more money by making the show longer? Is it because we just can’t get enough?

Auditions begin on July 30th in San Diego, and snake their way across the country to finish up in Philadelphia on August 27th.

Cities hit in between—Dallas, Omaha, Atlanta, Charleston and Miami. My bet for the winner next year? Some cute farm girl from Omaha who will blow everyone away. I don’t know, just seems like an underdog story ready to be blown out of proportion. Read More »

Nothing says “I can make you famous” like Reality TV. And now, the creators of American Idol are coming back with a new spin on a music/talent show. Tentatively called “The Search For The Next Great American Band”, this new show will bring us untalented folks at home not just one solo singer, but an entire band to adore or despise (imagine a whole band of sanajaya sound alikes- my ears are bleeding just thinking of it)

Wannabe’s of all different ages and music genres will compete in a battle of the bands week after week. Ten semi-finalists will perform in front of a live audience and much to the tune of American Idol, each week will feature a new musical theme. Garage bands will have to scat some jazz, while jazz bands will have to rock-out. The show will end in a head-to-head finale of the top three bands. A competition of bands seems much more exciting to me. More drama between the bands and let us not forget, more sexy guys playing guitars. Read More »

It makes perfect sense that the Sexiest Body in the World wants to be the next big singer.

Actress turned wannabe vocalist, Scarlett Johansson, has been recording her own album, “Scarlett Sings Tom Waits” for the past year with Rhino Records.

The thing is, she’s actually pretty good! MUCH better than most of the other actresses-turned-singers we’ve seen in recent years. Although I must admit, I am one of the only people who liked Jennifer Love Hewitt circa “How Do I Deal?”

Nonetheless, Scarlett’s deep, rhaspy speaking voice works really well for her vocal stylings, and she already has the image to back it up.

Catch a snippet of her singing “Summertime” here, and check out her opening SNL last week making fun of Sanjaya, played by the hilarious Andy Sandberg here. She’s joking around, of course, but you can still hear her pipes.

This weekend, Scarlett made an appearance at Coachella, singing back up for Jim Reid of the band The Jesus and Mary Chain. Read More »

Oh, Sanjaya. What a strange, creepy, hair-tastic road it’s been. You’ve dazzled some with your smile, upset children with your various coifs and even driven Sanjaya-haters to starve and gorge themselves publicly.

In spite of all the odd hype, you kept truckin’ and made it to the top 7. Being the butt of many jokes and subjected to some serious scrutiny never got the best of you. So, I give you mad props for that.

However last night, your American Idol days were finally done-zo. People were relieved, people cried and people cheered. But I can’t say images of your lucious locks and high-pitched voice with ever be forgotten. After all, you’ll live on YouTube forever.

I dedicate this anthem to you: