John Mayer + Perez Hilton = oddly intriguing

Pee like a dude…virtually

I hope ScarJo’s album is better than its cover

Wait no more to see your Johnny Depp lovechild

Bobby Brown: still crazy

The mother of all ‘yo mama’ jokes

Richard Simmons is amazing

Another reason I hate happy couples

Jeff Goldblum thinks you should buy a Mac

Would you let Obama call you sweetie?

That’s right. Another actress with no known singing talent is putting out an album, and this time, instead of letting a 50-year-old man write her words and a computer sing for her, she’s going to do covers. 10 covers. From one artist.

Due to be released May 20th, Anywhere I Lay My Head will feature Johansson’s voice and Tom Waits’s music. Yes. Tom Waits. The guy who sounds like he eats rocks for breakfast and occasionally slides metal across trashcans (but who knows how to write a great, complicated lyric).

How many of you out there can picture Scarlett listening to one Tom Waits song, let alone 10?

I can’t. Besides, how can you sing a T.W song if the only hardship you know is being chased into the Chateau Marmont by paparazzi?

Ugh. Whatever. Money might not be able to buy you love, but it can sure buy a CD deal.

• A pair of married strippers are the latest predators to get busted on myspace.

• Scarlett Johannson ‘Waits’ till May to release new cover album.

• Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid. Tom Cruise talks about his beliefs.

• Coachella is going East Coast.

• How to land a guy in 30 days.

• Everyone hates Jessica Simpson.

• Natalie Portman loves cruelty-free shoes.

What happens when you combine mediocre fiction with a lame film script and a girl who has a hard time being believable in anything?

You get The Nanny Diaries.

Apparently, Scarlett Johansson’s new movie is not just bad, but super bad (and not in that funny, quirky movie of the same title way). Critics everywhere are devouring it and spitting it back out, leaving only the incorporable Laura Linney unscathed. They say she does a good job being a rich bitch.

Everyone else? Horrible.

ScarJo included. Critics picked apart everything from her “leaden screen presence” to her “flustered mannerisms that smack of one too many Woody Allen projects” (seriously, the guy loves her. It’s weird).

As someone who hasn’t been able to believe Ms. Johansson in almost anything she’s done since Lost in Translation, I can’t say I’m surprised.

She’s hot, I’ll give her that, but I’m not sure a family comedy is her forte. I’m not even sure comedy is her forte. She smolders, sure. But she doesn’t pop. Or make me laugh. Ever.

Plus, even though the book was a bestseller, it certainly wasn’t literary gold. You can’t just cut up a beach read and put it on the screen, especially when you’re dealing with issues like class, money, and absentee parenting. Read More »

If you don’t know who Jenna Jameson is, then good for you you clear-minded, tasteful lady, you! The famed & fortuned porno star recently enlisted Hollywood hoochie Scarlett Johansson to play the ‘honorable’ role of Jameson herself.The movie will be based on Jameson’s bestselling autobiography, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star.

I’m happy to see that this is what consumer America is spending their disposable income on.

Pardon me as I shed a tear for all the respectable authors out there with unpublished novels, sitting around in discontent and considering, bemused, why none of their English professors ever advised they explore the prominent field of adult film. Read More »

I have to give it to you, Scarlett. According to Glamour’s “Sexiest Body in the World” poll, you’ve just beaten out Jessica Alba AND Gisele Bundchen! That ’s definitely something to brag about. So go ahead, I won’t judge you.

Honestly though, I’m a pleasantly surprised. Miss Johansson possesses a really unique and almost unconventionally pretty look. She’s not tall, toned or rail thin and people still think she’s hot. That’s freakin’ awesome for all of us who practically starve ourselves and work out like fiends to get that skinny look. Scarlett’s got curves and I do too.

Here’s the list of sexy bodies, who do you think should be #1?