Sunday morning, and your mouth tastes like cotton dipped in garbage and coated in tar. You immediately regret opening your eyes, because you’re not ready for sunlight just yet. As you slowly regain consciousness, your first thought is, what happened last night?

You check your phone, and see that you dialed your ex at 1:34, your best friend at 1:52 (which is weird, because you went to the bar together), an unknown number at 2:04, and someone called “Tattoo Joe,” a name that wasn’t in your directory yesterday afternoon, at 4:23. You immediately call your BFF, and ask the question aloud: “What happened last night?”

Blacking out probably dates back to the birth of alcohol, but it has long baffled doctors, psychologists, and college students. Why does that one last drink put you over the edge, and erase hours worth of memories? Why is it pretty much impossible to tell when you’re having a conversation with someone who is currently experiencing a blackout? Britain’s Telegraph recently reported that the reason why people forget the embarrassing things they do when they are drunk has been discovered. Read More »

So there I was, mentally bitching about how complicated the Lost season finale is going to be tonight and how for the life of me I can’t follow Ikea directions, when I happened to stumble across this article. What’s the gist of this article? Well, basically, it’s all about how MONKEYS ARE CONTROLLING ROBOTS WITH THEIR MINDS.

I’m not joking. Seems like scientists have recently discovered how to get cute little monkeys to control a small robotic arm to help them grab food. A small grid “about the size of a large freckle” was surgically implanted in a few macaques, allowing them to use cognitive thinking to make a robot arm grab stuff they want. Scientists believe this is a huge step towards finding better ways to help human amputees.

Dr. John F. Kalaska, a neuroscientist at the University of Montreal, believes this new experiment, no matter how young, might someday help “patients with severe motor deficits to interact and communicate with the world not only by the moment-to-moment control of the motion of robotic devices, but also in a more natural and intuitive manner that reflects their overall goals, needs and preferences.”

I’m sure Kalaska and all the other scientists are right, but for some reason, I just can’t stop thinking about monkeys in sunglasses systematically destroying the earth with giant, mind-controlled machines of death.

…I guess I need to lay off the SciFi channel.

Leave it to the Swedes to solve a shopping enthusiasts biggest dilemma: the mirror.

You know the drill. You try on a new pair of jeans. You twirl in the mirror to check out how your butt looks but your neck just won’t cooperate to give you the best view. You can drag along friends who may or may not tell you the honest truth, or worse a boyfriend who just wants to make a break for it and get a soft pretzel.

So what’s a girl to do? The solution is in a new device called the DelayMirror. Created by scientists in Sweden, it’s a combination mirror, camera, computer, and plasma screen. As you turn, the camera snaps pictures and displays them on the screen so you can see how you look from every angle. The device made its debut in the UK at a popular retail chain today. So far the reviews have been positive.

I wonder what will happen when the DelayMirror makes its way to the states. Will seeing ourselves (and our imperfections) 360 degrees around make us even more particular about body image?

Too bad that thing can’t see the future.

The hot tub: thought by many to be the ultimate in places to have sex.

It’s comfortable, relaxing, heated - it’s the aquatic equivalent of sex itself! So why should you not have sex in one?

According to studies by a (virgin) urologist, hot tub humping may not be very safe.

The old rumor of man becoming infertile after too many trips to the tub has been proven correct - but how long must you stay in the water? A week?

If your guy’s testicles have been heated up to a rolling boil, yes - you should probably get out of the hot tub.

It’s also common knowledge that yes, you can get pregnant in a hot tub. make sure Aquaman wears a condom, and all of your troubles will be gone.

In other words, don’t let anybody - scientists, urologists, virgins, moms - deprive you of experiencing the ultimate. It’s all of our God-given right to experience hot tub sex. Read More »

• Absolute adorableness aside — don’t get drunk and eat these by accident. I trust you guys…I can just see that happening. (kilian-nakamura.com)

• Damn dude…get the hint. (wvec.com)

• Even if you guys may get a little skeeved by Tarantino’s obvious foot and leg fetish or his uncanny ability to come off as both the best and worst director in Hollywood, I just find it impossible to dislike the man. Even if he makes this. (Star Pulse)

• As if cigarettes aren’t expensive enough in New York City…now we can waste our money AND look like douchebags! (Crown7.com)

• Scientists think that a bra they’ve developed, that may detect breast cancer with the use of microwaves, is safe. Probably. (medialaunches.com)

With classes starting up again, many of us will be forced to take some kind of bullshit science course which will never be of any use to us. I remember at the start of my freshman year, we all had to take, if nothing else, “Baby Bio” - the liberal arts version of biology. We learned a lot of really long plant names; that’s about all I know.

Baby Bio was the last time science was a part of my life, with the exception of a few experimental liquor drinks I’ve concocted along the way.

For those of you who are like me, and haven’t had much science in your life, prepare to be freaked the f*ck out by this list of the most bizarre and crazy-ass experiments in history. These weird scientists went waaaaay beyond memorizing their plant names, and most of the time, they just jumped right into these odd experiments out of pure curiosity.

Check out the list. Learn some things. Freak out your friends. Warning: some of these are pretty disgusting.

Some of the most whacked experiments asked the questions:

What would happen if you give 297 milligrams of LSD (3000 times the level of a typical human dose) to an elephant? Wow, I ask myself that every day. Scientists still don’t know for sure, cause the experiment didn’t go as planned, but I’d say…ummmmm…it’d have one hell of a trip.

What if you put a female prostitute in a room with a gay man after he’s given “heterosexual hormones”? He’ll have sex with her, obvi! He is, after all, still a man. But, in the end, he was still gay. Dammit, science! Read More »