DeAnna said it best, “I cannot believe that I’m going to marry the guy with the pink shoelaces.”

I can’t either.

On tonight’s season finale of The Bachelorette, once jilted contestant DeAnna Pappas chose underdog pro-snowboarder Jesse over easy-going single-dad Jason. It was shocking to say the least, especially considering this episode.

The fellas went home to Georgia to meet DeAnna’s family. Jason wowed the Pappas’ with his intellect, charm and sincerity. Papa Pappas seemed to swoon himself. Meanwhile, even with a new haircut, everyone was a little perplexed over just how Jesse got this far in the competition. Read More »

So last week was truly the end of our television season, and off we go into the doldrums of summer programming. But first, let’s look back at the wonderful ways our favorite shows wrapped up.

Gossip Girl: I’m proud of the writers of this show for making some sort of reasonable denouement to the ridiculous things they put their characters through this season: Georgina got conveniently sent off to a reform school, everyone broke up, and they not-so-subtly planted the seeds for new couples.

I spent the hour deciding who I would rather want to be: Blair or Vanessa. Once Blair got on the plane with a smoking hot corporate flacky, my doubts were crushed.

How I Met Your Mother: Was anyone else a little disappointed by this episode? I mean, come on people, it’s the season finale, and I laughed out loud maybe twice. Proposal blah blah blah, car accident, whatever. The only thing that made me happy was Barney’s epiphany in full body cast. Robin and Barney as a couple would be the best combination ever.

American Idol: Some guy named David Cook won. Good for him. I didn’t watch a minute of this season, other than the clips of Andrew Lloyd Webber creepily coaching the male contestants. Read More »

You know it’s going to be a long week when the only thing you have to look forward to is the season finale of America’s Next Top Model.

Hypothetically, of course.

The three remaining girls, Saleisha, Chantal, and Jenah, battled it out for the last two spots with a CoverGirl commercial. Jaslene even makes an appearance, looking even manlier than usual, to coach the girls. They all, more or less, did a good job on it, though Mr. Jay did find some time to scold Jenah for letting her insecurity come off as bitchiness.

Pot calling the kettle bitchy, perhaps?

The girls then headed home to have the same “I’m so going home conversation they have before every elimination—the ANTM equivalent of the “I’m so fat,” “No, you’re not. I’m totally fatter.”

It’s Jenah that gets sent home the next day, and I can’t say I’m too distraught over it. I’m a fan of her pictures, but during panel she always looks messy and congested to me. Read More »

Last night was one of those nights that can only be described as bittersweet. I sat on my couch excitedly anticipating the action packed season finale of The Hills (sweet) with some homemade biscotti (also sweet) before I realized that it would in fact be the last Monday for a long time to include my gal pals from L.A. (bitter).

Today is completely bitter. I feel like it is the morning after an awesome hook up when I can’t do anything but sit and think about the guy while I wait for him to call. While the evening it all went down (no pun intended) was awesome, the morning after just sucks.

This time, though, is even worse; I know Lauren isn’t going to call. And I know I am going to have to wait a long, long time to see her again.

But even with all this sadness I can’t help but get warm and fuzzy inside when I think back to that half hour of perfection last night. And my delicious biscotti.

The episode could not have been better. I found my heart melting for Brody, which is weird because he is totally not my type. Usually the popped collar/weird oversized hat kinda guys completely turn me off. But I guess there is something to be said about a guy in love. And he so is!

Which, by the way, made me hate Lauren just a little. Don’t get me wrong; the girl is absolutely fabulous. She has a killer wardrobe, she is surprisingly driven and intelligent considering her more-than-comfortable upbringing and she and I share many thoughts and opinions. I have to say, though, it drives me crazy when girls play dumb with guys. Read More »

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Many of my friends are musicians, artists and/or actors. And as much as I love them as people, I do not always love their art. So over the years I have developed an incredible strategy that allows me to tell some sort of the truth without pissing anybody off.

For example, a friend’s band has just finished playing:

What I think: “I can’t believe Sony would sign such a bunch of talentless jackasses.”
What I say: “Wow, the mix was incredible and I have never seen such masterful lighting.”

So with that being said, in addition to the masterful lighting, the music selection from the Sopranos’ series finale was absolutely phenomenal. Stereogum.com has compiled a track list from the Sopranos’ severely frustrating final installment. Here is the list with links so you can add them to your collection:

Vanilla Fudge - “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”
Tony wakes up; Dante drives Tony to his family; Phil fills up.

Randy & The Rainbows - “Denise”
Tony and Paulie wait for Agent Harris at the airport.

Antonio Vivaldi - “Four Seasons”
Bobby’s wake at Vesuvio’s.

Bob Dylan - “It’s Alright, Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)”
AJ & Rhiannon listen to the song in the car

Sonic Youth - “I Dreamed, I Dream”
Tony and Uncle Pat talk in backroom of The Bing.

Read More »

While it seems that everyone is getting tired of American Idol (including myself—thank God it’s almost over), no one seems to get bored with Paula Abdul doing stupid stuff. Which is good because—let’s face it—everything she does is a little silly.

In latest Paula news, she has tripped “trying to avoid stepping on her Chihuahua” and broken her nose. It’s a fairly plausible story. Except that we all know Paula has a lot more than Coke in those big glasses on the judges table. I used to fall over a lot, I’m not gonna lie. And I used to blame my shoes, or all those damn cobblestones in Paris (seriously, they’re perilous), but in truth it was the mass quantity of whiskey I had consumed. I don’t drink whiskey anymore cause it makes me a little crazy. And I have managed to stay on my feet better. So… I think Paula took a drunken nose dive, and is thanking God she has a dog to blame.

If you need even more confirmation that Ms. Abdul likes to wet her palette, check out this clip. Read More »