For those of us (everyone) who hates the new Facebook…

[Just don’t tell ‘em we told you…we hear they send snipers out after all dissenters]

I’m a student. I get bored in class. Really bored. So, I take advantage of the free wireless and spend most of my time in lectures playing online. And in doing so I have come across a lot of crappy blogs.

One might make a case that my own writing frequently belongs on that list. But that is because “one” has probably never seen this one.

As if to highlight how utterly retarded it is, the name of the blog (or the blog user? or both?) is Text in the City. WOW. Lame times ten.

The actual blog, however, is far lamer yet. Judging from the title and the subject matter, one is to assume this blog considers itself a takeoff of that popular and influential show, Sex and the City… except they did it with an “in” instead of an “an” (amateurs). While I myself am not a fan of said show, I do recognize the attempt to say things in a way that have never been said before on TV. Text in the City, on the other hand, is a bland regurgitation of womens’ self-help guides from the 50’s updated with the idioms of the new millennium (at least, sort of updated).

At Text in the City, you will learn the “10 Secret Things Every Man Wants.” Wow, really? Great! I have an idea, Text in the City; why don’t you write the blandest, most annoying possible things (for instance, booking a spa day for yourself so you can leave him alone at #1 on the list) in the most mediocre way possible (”We love excitement, and we are not just talking about in the bedroom.”)? That would be cool. Wow, Text in the City, you’re the most awesome thing ever! Read More »

Every year, some of us are guilty of giving sh*tty presents. Maybe we forget a relative until the last second, maybe we really don’t like someone but feel obligated to buy something, or maybe we’re just selfish bastards who don’t like to spend money, but whatever the case, every year during this time, truly crappy gifts are wrapped and set under the tree or beside the menorah.

And then there are those of us who receive those crap gifts. Opening a package and instantly realizing A) this person doesn’t know us at all or B) this is the stupidest thing someone has ever wasted tape on is always a hard emotion to conceal, but because our mothers taught us to be polite, we do our best. We smile through the pain and secretly hope the receipt is still in the box.

Not quite sure if what you’re about to seal with a bow is a crap gift? Let CollegeCandy give you a few hints.

• Scented Candles: You’re not in junior high anymore, so this gift is no longer acceptable. Confused 12-year-old boys give the girls they think might be their girlfriends scented candles because they’re cheap and noncommittal. If you’re an adult, presenting someone with scented candles is the perfect way to start letting them know you don’t care.

• Clothes That Are Way Too Big: Look, when in doubt, buy a size smaller. No one likes opening a gift box and pulling out a sweater that looks like it could house a moose. Holding up a giant article of clothing not only makes us immediately feel fat, but decide everyone else thinks we’re fat too. Total. Depression. Read More »