Spring has officially sprung here in New York City; the sun dress is here to stay, as are flip-flops, tank tops and shorts. If you’re like me, you might be looking down at your hairy, pasty legs and thinking “dear God, I actually miss December!”

And of course our trusty womens magazines are all about “getting ready for Summer” articles, reminding us that now is the time for manicures, pedicures, armpit shaving, leg shaving, fake tanner and…bikini waxes?

Really?

Bikini waxes are painful and, even worse, expensive! Cosmo online tells me I should wax about every 3 weeks, which would add up to probably about $400 over the summer months (considering the average bikini wax in NYC costs at least $50 w/tip!). At the moment I am a) single and b) not a surfer/lifeguard/swimmer/bikini model, so why the heck am I supposed to be getting bikini waxes? Painting my toes, shaving my legs, I get it–those are the bits that people can see when I’m wearing my little sun dress and flip-flops. Are shorts-that-are-so-short-we-can-see-your-pubes a new trend I haven’t heard about yet? Does casual Friday now include swim wear?

Someone, anyone: please enlighten me! Do you get bikini waxes in the Summer, even if you have no intention of hitting the beach/pool/water park?

Let’s put something out on the table. I’m pale. Year-round, unless I am recovering from a painful sunburn, any healthy glow I may have is courtesy of Cover Girl and a fluffy blush brush. I’m also not a fan of leather-face a la Rachel Zoe, so I’ve become quite intimate with the self-tan aisles of various department and beauty stores.

But there’s a problem with most self-tanners I’ve tried. And that problem is that they suck, in various degrees and respects.

I had high hopes for Jergen’s Natural Glow, the daily moisturizer that gives you gradual, but the color was so “gradual” that I gave up my daily application routine after a week of no results. I decided to try Mark bronzing self-tanner and spent the next day furiously scrubbing it off after looking like my tan was applied by a child painting with watercolors.

And Victoria’s Secret must be that she moonlights as an exotic dancer, because the only glow VS Bare Bronze gave me was that orange “my work uniform consists of 4-inch clear heels and glitter” glow.

I’d been mourning the loss of my summer tan on a daily basis since the beginning of the semester, until I came upon Elizabeth Grant Soleil Smart tinted leg lotion. And after a week of slathering it on, I’m just about ready to bathe in it. Read More »