My first boyfriend was uncircumcised. At the young, inexperienced age of fourteen, I realized this only because one day while chilling on the futon in the den having a post BJ-sesh chat, he informed me that some of the girls he had been with (because as a sixteen-year-old senior, he was far more sexually experienced than my freshman self) were initially freaked out by the au natural state of his Scottish-born ween. Huh, I remember thinking. He’s not circumcised. So THAT’s what that looks like.

It’s not like I was totally ignorant. I had been reading Seventeen and YM since I was nine. I knew all about hymens and G-spots and that you couldn’t get pregnant from a boy shooting his load into the open waters of a hot tub, so I certainly knew that some gents had foreskins and some did not; I just wasn’t really sure what that meant, anatomically.

I didn’t actually fully experience the difference between the two until about ten months later when my boyfriend and I were “on a break” and I hooked up with another boy, birthed in the good old U.S. of A. and fully shorn to prove it. As we sweatily made out on the couch, I jammed my hand in to his shorts, confidently grabbed a hold of his manparts, and…proceeded to give him the rawest handjob in the history of the earth.

For those of you who are lost, allow me to explain. On an uncircumcised boy, one can give some kind of an HJ without any sort of lube at all. Granted, as I have aged I have learned that some lube is certainly preferable to none in any case, but a fluid up and down motion causing some pleasurable sensations is achievable. But on the circumcised penis? Without the pliable sheath of the foreskin acting as a kind of…sleeve or whatever*, all that an unlubed HJ will achieve is some serious chafing and sad faces all around. Aww. Read More »

Maybe it’s just that I’m getting old and I don’t understand kids today. I don’t watch MTV, hell, I don’t even have cable, I don’t read Seventeen or Cosmo, and I only know so much about Disney stars as far as they have awkward-tastic scandals involving naked pictures. So obviously I’m missing something big if the following guys are supposed to be making my heart or other various parts of my body go pitter patter.

5. Daniel Radcliffe. You may be questioning if Mr. Potter himself could really be considered a heartthrob and I’m inclined to agree with you. After all, that is sort of what this post is all about. But apparently he is, he even has his own section on the Tiger Beat Website. I can admit that he’s cute in a pesky little brother sort of way, I’ll even admit that he was hilarious in his cameo on HBO’s Extras (“I’ve done it with a girl, intercourse wise”). But sexy? Absolutely not. And if that picture makes your girl parts tingly, well, maybe you should get that checked out. Read More »

Tired of all the washed - up rags out there that regurgitate the same gossip and beauty tips month after month? Well, there’s a new magazine on the rack that will be offering some different material. Muslim Girl is a magazine catering to just that — young Muslim girls who feel alienated by trashy, sex - fueled magazines like Seventeen and YM.

While Muslim Girl will offer advice columns and fashion spreads, the advice columns will focus not on blow jobs and dieting but “ethical dilemmas,” and the fashion spreads will not have scantily - clad tweens but modest models. But the magazine will spend the majority of its pages emphasizing positive female role models in Muslim culture.

I think Muslim Girl’s “white” counterparts should follow its suit. Seventeen, of course, was at the pinnacle of my reading list when I was all of twelve (I moved on to Cosmo when I was fifteen). For all the time I spent guiltily reading about crazy (and most definitely untrue) sexual exploits and blue eyeshadow, not to mention obsessively scrutinizing my developing body in comparison with the Brazilian models they used in photo spreads, I could have benefitted from some demure female role models of whatever ethnicity.