Hillary Clinton totally got her drink on

Nobody should ever visit Heidiwood

For real–it’s the real Real World

More like the top 10 films of. all. time.

The Mormon calendar would look great next to my dreidel

Even Marilyn Monroe has a friggin’ sex tape!

Wait, are you saying that some people don’t swoon over Zach Braff?!

My mentors are the Kardashian Sisters

Another reason dogs shouldn’t wear outfits

Oh look, Noel Gallagher is picking another fight

Oh hells to the no!

Not sure if you have heard or seen, but Gene Simmons is the next in a long line of celebrity sex-tape stars. The video, which I watched segments of, could be THE most awkward piece of video I have seen since Zack Efron started kissing girls on film.

I will set the scene for you (why? Because I’m evil like that):

Imagine some aspiring 20 year old blonde model wearing a bustier. Now, give her big sloppy boobs and have her wear the bustier incorrectly - ok…done. As for Gene, have him wear a t-shirt and jeans. Now, make his d**k shorter than his tongue, put his pants around his ankles and leave the t-shirt on. Alrighty, the characters are in place.

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Approximately one year ago I spent a weekend at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas.

To this day, I get emails from the PR group that runs the nightclub and other bars inside the hotel/casino complex. Ordinarily I don’t mind much. I like to remember my days and nights in the desert, and even look forward to planning my trip back.

But this week, it’s been two emails a day. About Paris effing Hilton’s birthday party this weekend. And I am slightly peeved.

I admit that I have a shameless love for some things poppy and tacky, we all have our vices. But Paris Hilton is not one of them. She most definitely is not about to inspire me to fly to Vegas when I can just wait for her to make an ass of herself in the Meatpacking District on her next trip to New York.

These invites got me thinking, though. Really, who is worth flying across the country for? If you’ve got to pick one celebrity whose birthday shenanigans you’d like to be a part of, who would it be? Read More »

Ah. The sex tape. Nothing says “we like it naughty” like catching the entire thing on video.

Not only is this racy recording super hot to watch with a glass of wine and a set of lacy lingerie (oh, and your co-star), but it is also a great teaching aid to improve the happenings between your sheets. Or on the table/back of a cab/in a public bathroom, if that’s more your thing.

Even more fun than watching the video is making it. Simply setting up the tri-pod at the foot of the bed ups the bedroom-hot-factor to Wasabi standards. And bringing the camera into bed for a couple of shots allows you, director/star, to create some extremely artistic shots.

Throw in some costumes and a teacher/student scenario and you have yourself a full blown night to remember, which, coincidentally, is made even easier by the fact that you have a souvenir to take home with you. (Note: Mac users have a leg up [saucy!] on the rest of us thanks to iMovie. It is so easy to use and adds a sense of professionalism to a genre that classically offers a more “Indie” feel.)

But homemade videos aren’t always pleasure and prrrrrrr. The biggest problem with a sex tape is the tape itself. Sure, producing a home video seems like a good idea at the time; “It will be fun,” you tell yourself. “We trust each other.” Oh, and you’ve always wondered what your hind quarters looked like when you were on top. Read More »

Someone needs to swear to me this isn’t true.

Spencer Pratt, the shudder-inducing bitchy straight guy from The Hills, might be trying to sell his own sex tape!

Reportedly, Pratt has been trying to sell his tape under the radar, hoping to make it seem like it was leaked without his knowledge.

While it’s not clear who exactly is featured on the tape, it was apparently made in Brazil three years ago, before MTV brought the nauseating duo of Heidi and Spencer together on it’s scripted reality series.

Commenting on the scandal in US Weekly (and no doubt loving the attention) Pratt claimed “there is no sex tape” and maintained that even though he did go to Brazil three years ago, he “was never on camera.”

Normally, I totally love it when celebrity sex tapes come out (I mean, how stupid can you be to lose a homemade porno?), but when it comes to the possibility of Spencer Sex Tape, I hope against hope that there’s no such thing. Read More »

R. Kelly.

Judging by his recent foray into rap musical sagas, one can only imagine that the guy either takes himself way, way, way too seriously, or has biggest sense of humor ever.

But here’s something else Kelly has a lot of: pending child pornography charges.

So, why hasn’t he even stepped foot inside a courthouse?

The obvious answer is that our justice system is screwed up, and lawyers can keep you running from charges that are over 5 years old for as long as your money holds out.

Besides the 21 counts of child pornography filed in June of 2002 (over a sex tape allegedly made in 1997, which prosecutors claim shows Kelly having sex with a girl around 14 years old), there were 12 other counts (filed in 2003, but not included in the main trail) of allged pornography attached to photographs of the singer and another naked under-aged girl.

While most offenders face a maximum of 15 years in prison if convicted of such acts, Kelly has successfully pushed his trail back time and time again; a jury selection scheduled for September 17 the most recent postponement. Read More »

I’m trying really hard not to judge. But when it comes to Marilyn Manson, it’s damn hard for me to stay silent.

Add in a confused little girl who claims his snoring “lulls her to sleep”, and you’ve just made it impossible for me not to say anything.

In September’s issue of GQ, 19-year-old Evan Rachel Wood lets it all hang out when it comes to her relationship with the Goth rocker, defending her feelings and that weird music video where they’re making out (for way, way too long) in a rainstorm of blood.

“At the end of the video, we’re kissing and it’s raining blood – and for me, that was one of the most romantic moments of my entire life” Wood explains, going on to say “for the first time, I really feel like I’m around somebody and in an environment where I can just let go and not worry about being judged”.

While I have no idea what an actress and a vampire look-alike talk about over dinner, the thing that really freaks me out is the 19-year age difference. 19 years.

The girl is dating someone who was her age when she was born. And sure, Hugh Hefner is doing the same thing (times 3), but at least that man looks like a man! Marilyn Manson resembles some sort of feminine alien. Read More »