Oh Living Lohan, I can’t believe our brief but tumultuous relationship is coming to an end (or a pause, you see, I’m not quite sure you’ve been renewed for a second season), but whatever, we’ve had our highs, our lows and our utterly brain numbing uneventful-s. I cherish our relationship so much, in fact, that I have elected to watch your season finale as opposed to THE PREMIER of Shark Week. I think this speaks volumes about my level of commitment to you. But I can’t just let this–us–end, without discussing just how much you and I both have grown, as a blogger, and as a, um, TV show (embarrassing level of attachment much?)

Dina, throughout our relationship I’ve witnessed the true beauty/sheer terrifyingness of your momma lioness schtick. I’ve seen you go after those hoping to capitalize on your innocent 14 year old daughter. I’ve seen you thrust the aforementioned youth into the open arms of said users. But in the end, I know you swear up and down that both of your daughters are hard workers (hospitalizations for “exhaustion” and temper tantrums aside).

This week, you showed me how well you fulfill your role as Momager by springing upon Ali a last minute audition. I’m not sure how I feel about any movie that uses the name “Harry Potter JR” (for realz) for a character. But you allowed your youngest girl to exercise her independence this week! A MAJOR step for a recovering (ish) stage mom. I know you voiced your concern over whether she’ll be judged for her natural abilities or her lineage. Nonetheless, you allowed Ali to go all by herself, to go meet the director of the film she’s auditioning for. You successfully balance a life of partying with you eldest, raising your youngest, publicizing your private life for profit, and maintaining intricate (to say the least) hair, nails, and bronzer. I raise my (large) glass (of Sutter Home) to you Dina! Read More »