Another week has come and gone. And so has the summer. Tear.

This week we put our white pants back in the closet, returned to the lecture hall and answered the questions on everyone’s minds:

Who would be better candidates for VP?
Who would we never wanna see in a sex tape?
Should we fart in front of our bf?
Which fall shows should we be excited for?
Should we ever consider sex without a condom?
Is hooking up with the hottie prof worth it?
Can the new 90210 really match up to the old one? (Not even close.)
What kind of germs did that dude leave in our sheets?
What do we need to have when we hit the party scene?
Why do we insist that we can still drink like we are in college?
Do guys really care about our sexual history?
Is there an alternative to yucky beer?

And, the most important question of all:
Who’s hotter?

With a hectic schedule of classes, papers, exams, and keg parties, it can be easy to let your dorm room look like a dumpster threw up in it. Besides allowing notecards and empty beer cans pile up, it’s a damn pain in the ass to cart your shizz to the laundry room and spend some precious change that could be valuable on Quarter Drafts night at the campus bar. Then there’s the process of remaking your bunkbed.

However, neglecting your sheets for too long can result in some icky, unwanted guests– and I don’t mean the one-night mistake you made last Saturday. Here are the five nastiest things that should inspire you to grab the Tide and make a date with the washing machine.

1. Bed Bugs

Reports of bed bugs are rising on college campuses and even if you’re particularly clean, you may not be safe. The little bastards can catch a ride to your room on luggage, clothing, and old furniture (e.g. your hand-me-down futon). Plus, they can live up to a year without a feeding, so they could have been hiding out in your empty dorm room for the whole summer just waiting for you to move in and unpack. Luckily, pest control on college campuses is prepared to snuff the buggers via steam, extreme heat, or pesticides. If you wake up with little red welts from bedbug bites report it immediately before the infestation spreads down the hall.

2. Your Personal Sheddings

When we hit the sack every night, we shed dry, dead skin and hair. Gross. I gag at the site of a hair-clogged shower drain, and sleeping with hairballs seems just as unappealing. Girls with long hair shed a lot, so there’s also the chance that you’ve left your mark in your man’s bed as well. Of course, dead skin and strands of hair are a breeding ground for microorganisms, so bacteria can escalate after just a few nights of shedding in your sleep. Read More »

I’m having a Sex and the City déjà vu moment. I was watching the episode where Miranda decides that she’ll buy all new bed sheets under the theory that if her bed is a place she wants to be, then others will want to be there too. Or as Carrie put it, “if you build it, he will cum.” So, with that said, I head over to Bed, Bath & Beyond and decide that my even though my current sheets are white, fabulous and 800 thread-count, they are starting to look a little dingy and it’s time to invest in a new set. I’m plowing through the sheets…too green, too thick, too thin, too ugly, 250 thread-count…you must be joking…and I’m starting to realize that I’m just as picky with my sheets as I am with men!

It was just then that this amazingly hot, tall, sexy man appeared and was also eyeing the 600 thread-count white sateen cotton sheets that were on sale for $75 from $100…love. He must be gay. There’s no way that this perfect man could appear out of nowhere, be super hot AND have good taste. Read More »