Do you know who Bubba is? You don‘t?! Obviously, you have no heart.

Bubba is a cat who grew up on the mean streets of Chicago, spending the first few months of his young life all by his lonesome. After finally being adopted by a nice couple, Bubba was still unable to “flourish.” He was shy all the time, hated visitors, and was just generally one unhappy cat.

Bubba’s owners knew they had to do something, so they called up a pet psychic. They paid someone to tell them the inner thoughts of their cat. And you know what that psychic individual told them? The reason for Bubba’s unhappiness was an inner emotional struggle…that’s right…Bubba was a transgendered cat.

Even though Bubba was a boy, the pet psychic told his owners that Bubba identified as a female. Immediately, the owners jumped into action. They went about “accepting” Bubba’s feelings, and put up a website asking anyone who stumbled upon it to donate money for Bubba’s sex change operation.

How can anyone say no to such a realistic and heartfelt request? How could we possibly ignore the brave plight of Bubba the transgendered cat? The answer is that we can’t. So donate today. Bubba needs us, people.

(Last week we began this series about meeting your dude’s friends. This week, we continue it as promised. Because we love follow through]

The Awkward Guy

If He Were an Animal He’d Be A : Sun bear. Has a vacant, awkward stare, poor fingernail maintenance, adorable, loving.

The awkward guy. I’m not going to call him a ‘nerd’ because sometimes the awkward guy is a totally jacked gym rat and sometimes he’s a complete sports freak. But sometimes he is a nerd. He’s got hobbies. Mad hobbies. They keep him from familiarizing himself with the female sex. He’s probably a professional Halo 3 player, a collector of ‘miniatures,’ comic books, DVDs. He likes to gather stuff and store it in a sterilized container.

Mostly, when you’re around, he either stares at you, the floor, or occupies himself with something else. He might be really quiet, soft spoken, or maybe just a man of few words. The truth is he’s got a lot of words in there but they probably involve orcs or batting averages or obscure Rhode Island based hip-hop artists.

He’s a little nervous about a girl breaking into ‘the club,’ and he’s not sure how to handle it. He and your boyfriend are mates because they like the same stuff. Same taste in music, video games, whatever, and he wants to do that stuff a lot.

He’s the most likely guy in the circle to really want to make a good impression, and such, because most of his interests are maybe a little off center, he’s not sure what he’s supposed to talk about. He doesn’t want you to think he’s a massive nerdface. Read More »

Deflowering a virgin is something that guys think about…and they usually think about it in one of two ways: they either are dying to do it because they love the idea of being a girl’s “first” OR they’re terrified of it because they can’t emotionally throw down and they don’t think it’d be fair to rob a girl of her innocence without being able to give her foot massages and take her out on dates.

However, when I deflowered my first and only (or so I hope to be my first and only) virgin; I wasn’t thinking about either one of these things. Because I didn’t know he was a virgin. I had just met him.

Here’s what I DID know:

-He was bangin’ hot.
-He was a few years younger than me. However, he was 19 and legal.
-He was shy around me and I thought it was cute.
-He was willing to drive two hours to meet up with me the day after he met me.
-He still lived with his parents.
-He worked at Jamba Juice.

Here’s what I found out during the act:

-He was afraid of giving oral. I taught him how. (In my defense; I believed that there was a possibility he could have been inexperienced with oral, but still experienced with intercourse.)

-He had no idea how to take charge in sex. (Yawn. I hate that.)

Here’s what happened after the act: Read More »

I’m a shy person. I’ve gotten a little better over the years, but the thought of speaking to a roomful of people or even just one new person still terrifies me. And parties…the thought of going to a party is basically like hell on earth.

So in a way, it’s natural that I don’t drink. Drinking is something that’s confined almost exclusively to social occasions, and since I avoid social occasions like the plague, I don’t have any reason to drink. I’m not interested, and I just don’t care to do something that might make me look stupid or blur my judgment. So why do so many people treat me like an alien because of that choice? Read More »

Don’t act like you don’t watch. You are just as guilty as I am and that’s why you’re reading this. That or you really pity my television for constantly being forced to tune into such a brain cell killing show.

You know how the first two seasons of Flavor of Love went down. Hoopz never wanted to be with Flav, never called him after the finale was shot. Delishis has gone on to sell jeans, record an album and she’s married to some dude now.

Flav opens the first episode blaming Delishis for needing a season three and a last VH1 chance at “finding love” when the truth is that Flav wanted a third season. Enjoy this one, y’all; Flav “ain’t doing this again” because VH1 is NOT funding another Flav show once this one wraps.

Let’s get started.

Twenty girls stand outside of the mansion as what appears to be a Presidential Motorcade approaches. Looks like VH1 has stepped up the budget to send Flav out with a bang. So what is the “President of Love” looking for in a woman? In his hope that this season has brought him a different bunch of women, Flav reveals that respect is the key to his heart. Respect for his kids, his crib and for him.

And then we see the free-for-all of screams, bed jumping, and elephant riding (you have to see it to get it) once the contestants enter the house. Oh, God, just name this trashy bunch already and get to it. Read More »