Sure, I’m glad that the semester is more than half over. Sure, I’m happy that the holidays are fast approaching. Sure, I’m glad that it’s my favorite season. But with all the awesome things that this time of the year brings along, there’s something that I just can’t stand, something that always comes around, and I sure as hell don’t mean the premiere of Redemption Song or the Law and Order marathon.

I mean being sick.

Not just “being sick,” though. Not just having a little cough or a small sniffle. No, I mean being sick as a dog. Having bronchitis. Having a box of tissues in one hand and pockets full of throat lozenges. When you’re on a small campus, one person’s cold is everyone else’s cold. Being stressed doesn’t help matters, either, so of course there are tons of other people in the boat with me – and not just seniors. And call me sadistic, but watching everyone suffer makes me feel a little less awful.

But my loss is your gain, folks. From my week-late thesis chapter, paper due on Friday that I still haven’t written, and a few other delayed things, I’ve learned some pretty awesome techniques to combatting exhaustion, delirium, sickness, and even lack of alcohol. Read More »

[It doesn’t matter what school you go to, what state it is in, how big it is, whether it is public or private, all girls or coed…there are experiences that all college students share. No matter how crazy you think your personal situation is, it is not just you.

So, let’s bring it all out in the open. Right here. Because you are not alone - we’ve all been there before.]

Hugging the Bowl:

You started the evening out with the girls and a few shots of vodka to the tune of Bon Jovi blaring from the stereo. Then you moved onto the party, where you couldn’t not play 10 rounds of flip cup, followed by a game of beer pong. You were feeling good – really good – so you decided to give into the boys and do a keg stand.

After all, you had to show them what you’re made of.

When your feet are firmly back on the ground it hits you: you are totally f**ked up. The room is spinning, the floor is rocking and all you can think about is getting home and dying.

But you don’t want anyone to think you are a wimp (because you’re not!), so you pull one of the girls aside and whisper, “I’m tired. I think I’m gonna go,” which comes out more like, “I’m <hiccup> tiiiired. I <hiccup> mthink I’mgomna <vurp> go.” Your friend offers to go with you.

You stumble home, run straight to the bathroom and strip down to your bra and underwear. Your friend brings you water in the bathroom as you crouch over the toilet and start spitting into the bowl. Your knees hurt already, but you are not leaving the bathroom until you puke, dammit. Read More »

It’s amazing the things that inspire memories and thoughts. The smell of stale beer with a hint of garbage reminds me of my neighbor boys in college. “Kanye’s Workout Plan” reminds me of dance parties in my living room. Chinese food always reminds me of the man who masturbated outside my window while I ate dinner with my roommates.

And Jose? He doesn’t remind me of much, except nights I can’t remember.

Every week we ask our fantastic writers to weigh in on a variety of things. This week, we decided to play a little word association game. What three memories/thoughts/ideas come to mind when they hear the word Jose?

I’ll give you a hint… it involves a toilet. Or a sock drawer, for the truly unfortunate.

Alex - Cornell: Burrito, salsa dancer, sweat

Kelly - UMass: Tacos, Cuervo, Mustache

Lauren - University of Michigan: Body shots, mistakes, and the worst. hangovers. ever. Read More »

Friday night: You’re at a crowded bar, and have to pee. Fearing the toilet seat, you pop a squat, clench your thigh muscles and hold onto the walls while you unleash your last five beers. You make sure you wash your hands (sometimes twice, depending on how filthy the pub is), and maybe even reach into your purse for some hand sanitizer, just to be safe.

Saturday night: You’re at a frat party. You just won three consecutive games of beer pong. You don’t think twice about drinking your cups, despite the fact that you’ve seen the ball land in other peoples’ used cups, roll along the basement floor, and watched the ball pass between thirty-something unwashed hands.

What gives?!?

Obviously, beer pong isn’t the most sanitary party game out there. But you have the “water cup,” right? That cup of tepid, dirty water is totes gonna disinfect that old, recycled ping pong ball (that was most likely found under someone’s bed 10 minutes before party time). Or not.

Some microbiology students at George Washington University decided to test exactly how detrimental to your health beer pong can be. If you like beer pong, you may want to skip this article. Read More »

Listen to me: your mom is not coming with you to college.

There is not going to be anyone there to feed you soup when you have a cold or hand you band-aids when you’ve had too much to drink, fall, and cut yourself on glass. There is only the student health center and they don’t want to hear about your minor ailments; they’ve got a whole campus worth of people with real problems. Like broken limbs… and broken condoms.

Because of this you have to be prepared to take care of yourself when it comes to the minor things: the tummy aches, the colds, the bumps and bruises. And you have to be prepared.

Below is a handy dandy list of things you’ll need to build your very own medicine cabinet. No more unnecessary trips to the Health Center (where they probably can’t help you anyway), or crying to your mom on the phone. Well, you can still cry on the phone, but at least you won’t have to leave the house to get some Pepto.

1) A container
First things first - you’re going to need a place to store your medical supplies. This can be an under-the-bed plastic tub or a cool toolbox you decorate with stickers. Anything you want really, as long as it’s storable. And make sure that whatever you pick can hold a few 20 oz and cans.

2) Band-Aids and Bandages
This is the most basic part of your kit; the thing that you will probably be using most of all. You should stock up on band-aids of all sizes. You never know what you might need one for: blisters, shaving nicks, paper cuts, drunken falls. Also keep a few ace bandages handy. Thanks to the combination of stilettos and alcohol, sprained ankles and wrists are inevitable. Read More »

I’m under the weather. The runny nose, the sore throat, the whole works. There are a few good parts to being sick. These include copious naps, bedside treatment from Mom and the comfort of a good movie. But these aren’t just any movies. These are films I’ve seen 1,000 times that make me feel happy and temporarily healthy. The hours of coughing and sneezing just tick away when you’re in the middle of fart jokes and/or crocodile tears.

Steel Magnolias
It’s tough to beat middle-aged women laughing and crying over men loved and lost, terminal illnesses and country living. It gets funnier and sadder every time I see it.

Tommy Boy
If you don’t feel better after watching this movie, you might want to go to the hospital because whatever you have is pretty bad. It’s hilarious, charming and surprisingly suspenseful for a comedy. Read More »

Remember when you were little and you came down with a cold? Mom or Dad would make you soup, tuck you into bed, and feed you medicine. Well, now you’re on your own, and chances are when you are hacking all over place even your best friend won’t want to get near you. What to do!?

First things first…if you wake up in the morning feeling like total crap, give yourself a sick day. We have a tendency to push ourselves to the limit in college, but remember: even big corporate offices give sick days, and that’s for a good reason. If you try to keep going like normal, chances are you’ll make yourself even more sick, thus forcing you to possibly miss even more time than if you just took it easy early on. Obviously if you have an important exam or test you may have to suck it up and go to class, but otherwise, just stay in bed.

Make sure to sleep in and get some extra rest–close the blinds and don’t turn on the TV (not yet, at least!). When you feel like you can’t sleep anymore, take a hot shower. Sudacare makes these great tablets that you stick on the floor of your shower; they react with the hot water to make a really nice steamy vapor that opens up your sinuses (and calms you down). Read More »

There comes an age when you realize the difference between homesick and home, sick.

Homesickness happens after moving out of state. You miss the backyard you grew up in, your family and friends, whatever it may be that just isn’t the same in your new digs. Home, sick happens when you’re too hungover to function or you’re legitimately ill, sometimes even ill due to the hangover. Most importantly, home, sick, as an adult, is when you realize how great it was when your parents were there to take care of you. Home, sick leads to homesick.

Maybe it was because I have no siblings, but my parents upped the love when I had what my father referred to as “the punies,” always pronounced with an exaggerated pout and a pat on the head, whether I was six or sixteen. He’d then quickly step away and make an x with his index fingers. “Love you, but I don’t want it,” he said, shaking his head sadly. Read More »