Whenever a boy that we like doesn’t call, or does call and says something like, “Your early morning beer bongs are really not attractive,” the same thought crosses our minds:

Must buy cats.

And then fear washes over us as we realize that we might one day become this woman. God save us.

A few nights ago, while staring idly at tiny print in a huge history book, I got a call from one of my best friends who goes to college right next to mine. Because of the rush of Back To School shenanigans, we hadn’t hung out in a few weeks, so it was nice to ignore work for a while and catch up. As she talked about her wild weeks, she mentioned that she had met two guys and had already been out with both of them once.

“It’s so weird!” she said, her voice stretching into a smile. “It’s been one and a half years of nothing, and now I’ve met two cute, nice-seeming guys in the last two weeks.”

“Dude, that is awesome.” I turned away from my history book and looked out my small window. “Just make sure you save some cute, normal guys for the rest of us.”

As my friend continued to talk excitedly, I continued to cheer her on. Because I was happy for her, you know? She’s a fabulous girl who’s completely down to earth, cute as a button, and is sure to be a famous fashion designer some day (without the bored, holier-than-thou attitude of most designers). I was glad she had found some prospects.

I was something else too, though. Something I didn’t even know I was until I hung up the phone. I was worried. If she gets a boyfriend, a tiny voice whispered in my ear, I’ll be one of the only single people I know. She can’t get a boyfriend! Maybe those guys won’t work out.

As soon as I realized I had thought those things, I felt gross. Read More »

Listen up incoming freshmen: in a few weeks, you’re going to find yourself on a huge college campus full of more hook-up potential than you could ever dream. In the next few years, some of you will have long-term relationships, while many of you will engage in short-term hook-ups.

There are several types of college relationships that have an urban legend-esque feel to them: the sexy school girl and the married professor, the sexy school girl and the teaching assistant, and, of course, the sexy school girl and the resident assistant.

I have never hooked up with one of my RAs, but that’s because I’ve only ever had female RA’s. Still, I know plenty of people who have dabbled in these waters. I’m not here to condone or condemn the practice, because I’ve certainly had my fair share of regrettable trysts, but I am here to lay out some of the baggage that comes with such a hook up.

First of all, consider the fact that even inter-floor mating can lead to year-long awkwardness. If you fear the inevitable walk of shame, imagine the anxiety that comes with the chance that one of your floormates sees you leaving the RA’s room in last night’s bar clothes. Even if you survive the W.O.S, you risk the rumors and reputation — people are more apt to label someone “the girl that banged the RA” than “the chick who nailed whatshisname in 5B.” Even worse, if you can’t handle the tension of a chance meeting on the elevator (or on the way to the showers), you are biting off more than you can chew with by shacking up with your RA.

Your RA is someone you will probably have to turn to throughout the year. He’ll be the one to let you into your room when you are locked out wearing only a towel. This means he also has the master key to your room (not implying anything, just saying). He’s also someone who will have to keep tabs on you throughout the year. He’ll be writing you up for dorm parties, open containers, and that hole in your wall that you forgot to fix before move-out day. This fact alone can open up a brand new can of worms in Relationship Land. Read More »

From the time I was 18 until I was 25, I was almost always in a relationship. So when I moved to New York City in the Fall of ’04 to pursue my dreams, I welcomed being single with open arms. This was a time for me to be me and not Jess Connected to Someone Else. I was 3,000 miles away from everything and everyone I’d ever known and was chasing my dreams. This was my time to shine.

The first year was great. I delved myself into my studies, my social life in and out of school, and working. I was too busy for a boyfriend and I had countless experiences and made countless friends that I probably wouldn’t have if I’d been in a relationship at the time. I got to dive head first into the fashion and social world of NYC, something I’d only thought could happen on TV and had experiences where I often found myself asking, “Who am I and how the heck did I get here?”

As year two of being single came along, I was a little more antsy about finding someone, not to mention a tad embarrassed that I’d been in New York (a city of millions) for over a year and couldn’t find someone to snuggle with. But I was still livin’ the life and accepting my singledom.

Year three came and went - without a boy - and now that I’ve hit the four year mark, well it can be downright depressing.

I’ll admit it, having been single for four years has taught me a lot about myself and my personal independence: how much stronger I am (emotionally, mentally and physically) than I ever thought, and how I truly can make it on my own. In that same breath, though, it’s been extremely tough and oftentimes makes me question my self-worth: what could possibly be wrong with me that I can’t find a boyfriend? What am I doing that scares men off? I’ve gained a bit of weight, could that be the problem? Read More »

Some of us got lucky when we moved in. We had friendly, personable roommates who respected our space and kept us sane through finals week. Some of us ended up in one-room hell for a year. There are as many ways for a roommate to suck as there are humans on the planet, but here’s a few standout stinkers:

The Social Drinker
Or, in other words, the roommate that’s only social when she’s drunk. You spend the whole day together, share the same bathroom, use the same shelf for your snacks, and probably own the same deodorant, but the only things you say to each other all day will be “I’m going to class” and “Mind if I get the light?” You don’t hate each other or even dislike each other, but somehow you never seem to have a conversation longer than fifteen seconds. Unless it’s Thursday evening and she’s into the vodka, of course. Then she’s your best friend, and she always wonders why you guys never talk, why she’s never gotten to meet all your cool friends, how much she hated that stupid haircut you had at orientation, and eventually she passes out and you don’t speak to each other for another week.

The Invisible Woman
You know she exists, because you saw her parents on move-in day, and the pile of laundry in her hamper sometimes varies in size. But she’s never in the room when you come back from class, she’s never brushing her teeth or taking a shower, and nobody ever comes looking for her. There’s the empty shell of a human life: bed always made, textbooks neatly lined up on the bookshelf, television never turned on. Your room feels like it’s being haunted, as if there’s some presence only half there. Sometimes you see her outside, chain-smoking and looking waifish. Read More »

While you were up way past your bedtime watching Michael Phelps dominate the pool in Beijing, you probably missed out on some serious stuff happening back here in the states.

Like the fact that Hollywood is breaking apart at the seams.

Seriously, everyone is heading to break-up city! Even the rock solid couples…

Like Paris and Benji! Say it ain’t so! I thought this was the real thing. I thought this was forever. I guess “forever” in Paris’s mind means, “Until something more scandalous comes along that can get me back in the public eye.” This time, it was Chris DeWolfe, the Co-Founder of Myspace, that did the trick. And, while I liked the idea of her and Nicole having matching husbands, I think this new couple is a match made in heaven. She loves overwhelming the world with pictures of herself….and he runs the company that does just that.

I just can’t wait to see what kind of pictures/videos surface online from this relationship. A Night in Paris Part Deux? Read More »

God, it feels good to be single again. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, and I know that this move solidified my future as an old maid. I know I’ll never find a guy more perfect for me than my ex, and that I’ll probably die alone. But, damn, it feels good to be single.

When you’re single, it can be hard to sit back and watch your attached girlfriends in their romantic endeavors. They get flowers from their boyfriends; they always have a date to a party; they have someone to cuddle with in the morning. But they also don’t have the opportunities that you have as an independent woman.

My (ex)boyfriend and I had been doing the long-distance thing for a while. I am currently trying to find my career path, but I had to keep trying to get a job close to him. This eliminated a plethora of job opportunities for me. When you get ready to graduate college, you can move anywhere you want or take any job that’s offered to you.

The girls who are involved have to make their life decisions with their partner. True, they can opt for the long-distance thing, but that still makes moving much harder than it does for you, the single gal with no emotional baggage.

Since reemerging onto the singles scene, I’ve also been feeling less stressed. Personally, I’ve had a lot on my plate lately, and I felt like even the daily “goodnight” phone call was cutting into what little time I have to spend on everything else. It takes effort to make a relationship work. True, it’s great to have a boyfriend to vent to or to seek reassurance from, but when you are trying to balance jobs, school, extracurriculars, and other responsibilities, sometimes it’s nice to be able to focus on you without feeling selfish. Read More »