I’ve been single (and loving it) for a long, looong time. So long, in fact, that I’ve fallen into a rut. I go to class, I come home, I eat, I hang out, I go to the gym, I watch TV, etc. It’s the same stuff all the time, and for a long time I was OK with that – I was doing what I wanted to, when I wanted to. No one was telling me what parties to go to, where to celebrate my holidays, or who I could or could not sleep with.

But lately I have begun to re-evaluate things a bit (read: weigh myself) and I now realize that I went from being in a single-girl rut to hitting single-girl rock bottom.

What does rock bottom look like? I’ll show you: Read More »

With football season well underway, I bet I can guess how a lot of your Saturdays pan out:

7 a.m.: Wake up. Still drunk from the bar last night? Mayyyybe.

9 a.m.: Arrive at the football stadium; crack your first beer.

9 a.m.-Noon: Tailgate your face off. Tailgating activities may or may not include: Beer pong, funneling, shotgunning, and general raging.

Noon: Kickoff. You’re highly buzzed, but still careful not to spill your overpriced stadium beer as you shake your foam finger at the other team.

7 p.m.: You pass out. Hey, it was a long day, man.

Now that’s what I call a waste of a Saturday night. I know that rallying for almost 12 hours straight can take its toll. Especially when you’re running on a few hours of sleep after a killer Friday night. But if you pace yourself, and plan your evening effectively, there’s no reason that you can’t take in both the football game and a killer kegger (or two). Read More »

The semester’s off and running, the weather’s getting worse, and next summer feels like an eternity. It’s easy to find your mood plummeting, your motivation waning, and your usually chipper self turning into a snappy betch. Misery has a snowball effect: you’re grumpy, and it rubs off on your roommate; you’re already in a bad mood, and walking into a pop quiz can set you over the edge. Before the blahs take over your body, take time to stop, breathe, recharge and rejuvenate. Here are five quick pick-me-ups to get you out of a funk.

1. Sleep: You’ve been up at the crack of dawn every morning to hit the gym, struggle to stay awake through three back-to-back classes, rush to your part-time job, and finally head home to tackle several hours worth of homework. Of course you’re feeling dreary! Lack of sleep can have adverse psychological effects– take it from a girl who is known to burst into tears at the slightest provocation after pulling an all-nighter or two– so even if you can’t fit in a full eight hours of sleep a night, treat yourself to a long, comatose nap. When you wake up, you’ll be more energetic and alert, so it might even boost your studying stamina later in the week.

2. Treat Yourself: You’ve been running on empty for weeks, neglecting yourself in order to make a good impression on your professors, sorority sisters, friends, coworkers, etc. Do something nice for yourself. If you have some extra cash, buy yourself a new outfit. If you think you look good, you’re bound to feel good, too. Low on cash? Scrape together some change and download a couple of jams on i-Tunes. I mean, they’re only 99 cents most of the time– you deserve it! Get a track that will raise your spirits, like Flo Rida’s “In the Ayer,” DJ Laz’s “Move, Shake, Drop Remix” or, for a bubblegum pop sound, The Orion Experience’s “Obsessed with You.” Then, crank up your speakers and have your own personal dance party for a few minutes. It’ll be worth it. Read More »

Remember when the end of the summer meant a shopping trip with your mom and a first-day-of-school photo shoot to chronicle the beginning of first/second/third/fourth grade?

Then high school hit, and you took your own initiative to blow your money on the perfect ensemble to make a statement on day one. Freshman year meant something eye-catching enough to grab the attention of a studly senior, whereas by senior year, your wardrobe had to scream, “I’m a senior. I own this school. And I’m f***ing graduating, bitch!”

Now that college is just around the corner, is it time to retire the tradition of back-to-school clothes, or do you simply need to step it up a notch?

On the first day of college, the campus will be filled with tens of thousands of students, frantically trying to change their schedules, pay their financial aid, and find the right classroom in the right building. It was easy to get noticed in high school, when you were one fashionista among only a few hundred, but in college, the people you meet on the first day are most likely to be a nameless, faceless blur who were kind enough to give you irections to the registrar’s office.

If you are thinking about going all out for a first day of school ensemble, ask yourself what your motivation is. Do you want to look professional to impress the teacher? Give yourself a little extra self-confidence to make it through the day? Find a nice college boy to walk you from one class to another? The following are some broad categories of BTS-wear that I have encountered year after year. You might fall into one of these groups, or you may notice a few hundred students who do on the first day of college. Read More »

So, uh, I quit. I quit Master Cleansing.

I tried to talk myself in to sticking it out. I really did. I kept telling myself all the little motivators I mentioned in my last update. I told myself that if all sorts of other people could do it, I damn well could. I told myself that not only were all my friends and family aware I was doing it, but I was broadcasting it on the internet – to quit would mean failure, and everyone would know.

But then I went to the gym. And I’m totally one of those sick people who genuinely enjoys the gym. I love to sweat, use my muscles, feel all strong and healthy and accomplished. And when I found myself sprawled out on the workout mats, head all fuzzy and discombobulated, too tired and pissed off to do a crunch or run on the treadmill, I thought, this is totally moronic. I’m miserable. I don’t care if I’m so loaded with fucking toxins that I mutate in to the Incredible Hulk, this Master Cleanse sh*t has got to stop.

So, I gathered up my stuff, walked out of the gym, walked to the closest cafe, bought a parfait, and f*%king chowed down. And it was AWESOME. Immediately, everything turned around. I was cheerful, happy, energetic, ready to run on the treadmill and hang out with my boyfriend and paint my room and do all the things that seemed utterly insurmountable while I was living off of f*%king syrup and lemon juice. Read More »

By the time I was 14 and had started high school, I was a midwestern teenager living the life of a workaholic New Yorker. Going to school from 7-3 didn’t cut it for me. I had to be in every club and organization. Choir, drama club, key club…you name it. I had to be physically active. I had to have a social life — with 18 year olds who had cars and stayed out late. I had to be active in my church, leading youth group and attending services three times a week. And more importantly, I had to pursue my songwriting and music career, which kept me out way past bedtime at bars for shows and open mics.

I was getting by on around 4 or 5 hours a sleep a night and I was doing it without caffeine. I had straight A’s and…a lot of my friends openly hated this about me. I was a nonstop go-getter, over-achieving on minimal sleep before I even had my driver’s license. When I was 16, I launched my own handbag line and my shows became more steady. By the time I was 17, I had a serious boyfriend to throw into the mix as well as a ‘real’ job, a position running the choir, and college application stress. Yet, I was still going strong, riding on an ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead‘ slogan. Read More »

Let’s be realistic; with classes, homework, studying, hobbies, work, and that thing you like to call a social life, we college girls don’t have all that much time for sleep. As much as we’d like to say that 8 hours a sleep of night is ideal, most don’t get that. And after five hours of sleep, that coffee machine is your best friend.

But when our needs go beyond the capabilities of coffee, the next step up is energy drinks. We stock up on “emergency cans” for those long study (read: party) nights, but we all know the hazards of those high-caffeinated drinks, don’t we? I mean, reading on the side of the can that kids, older people, and pregnant women shouldn’t drink it should be warning enough. Read More »

Let’s thank Hannah Montana for this one

OMG. THIS ELEPHANT. IS PAINTING. A SELF-PORTRAIT.

“The Hills” are alive…with legit life lessons

This just in: Paris Hilton wants to buy the world

Does this lawsuit match my bag?

You know, I’d rather sleep with Rob Lowe in his bed

Sometimes, you just crave some fried penis

Seriously, someone needs to take away their camera

Proof that Coldplay is really boring