[For many of us, sex and college go together like Uggs and snow - you can’t have one without the other. So, we brought in one of Berkeley’s finest sex columnists, Elizabeth, to start a dialogue about the topic (and act) that is very near and dear to our hearts. Every Thursday she will get your day goin’ with a little somethin’ somethin’ that’s on her mind.]

I am the queen of terrible dates. Good or bad, I’ve always been the girl that “gives him a chance (or two)” often to a fault. After losing some blood, skin, and half of a tooth on my last date (no lie, I can’t make up stuff this good), I decided that enough is enough. No other girl should have to go through the pain of being toothless for two weeks during finals - it’s just wrong.

As a result, I’ve put together a survival guide to navigate you through the three most painful date scenarios you may ever encounter.

1. He wants to pregame with you – before your date.
There is nothing wrong with having a little somethin’ somethin’ before a date, but a trashed date should be a red flag. There are three things that go really well with heavy intoxication: vomit, awkward hook-ups, and injury. Ironically, these are three things clash with dates like Crocs with…anything. So what do you do if your date downs three long islands by the time you order your appetizers? First and foremost, I hope you didn’t wear heels since you will be walking all night thanks to Drunky Danny. If you made the fatal mistake of wearing heels, do not under any circumstances accept any sort of offer from your date to carry you home. Believe me, there is more than one muscle that gets weaker upon intoxication, which may cause him to severely overestimate his strength. Other than that, you can’t really do anything other than put his drunk ass to bed, run home as fast as you can, and never go out with that guy ever again. Read More »

There are a lot of traditional expectations of women to which I don’t match up with smoothly. For the most part, I don’t even care to bother meeting up to these expectations. Except for this one thing:

I wish I could be cleaner.

I don’t have a neat-freak bone anywhere in my body. I’m not convinced that I even want a neat-freak bone. But when I walk into some friends’ homes and everything is immaculately clean…it makes me wonder why I too can’t prioritize cleaning.

In order for me to clean, I really need to be expecting guests. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not DIRTY. I don’t leave food out, I do the dishes, take out the trash, blah blah. Oh, and I bathe. But I’m A-OK with leaving my shoes, jackets, purses, etc. all over the living room and I don’t mind if my roomies do, either. I don’t care if there’s makeup all over the counter and the bathroom floors aren’t spotless. Did I miss a memo somewhere?

It doesn’t even ‘run’ in my family. My family is actually very neat and they often argued with me over being somewhat of a slob growing up. I guess I just can’t see why cleaning is more important than sitting on the couch.

It’s not something I necessarily learned from my friends, either. In fact, my friends are kind of the people who make pay attention to the fact that I’m not like them. Take my good friend, Cara, for example. She mops her floors incessantly. When we get into her place from spending the evening out she literally - no f*cking joke - mops the floor. Am I crazy for thinking this is crazy? Read More »