I was at the exact perfect age — high school seniordom — when the Red Sox achieved that wonder of wonders and won the world series for the first time in 87 years. To understand how momentous that was for Bostonians, you really had to have been there — my headmistress declared a day off from school, there were parades and people dressed up in Red Sox outfits every day that week.

The curse was reversed! Even more than that miracle, though, was the miracle that some people who had less than zero interest in sports (like yours truly) suddenly became excited by the games.

All of us, no matter what our sports background, were on the edge of our seats as the Red Sox struggled to beat the Yankees, our mortal enemy, and then the Cardinals. Each won game was one more day we were still alive, and I still remember the excited discussions at school. People who had never held a baseball in their lives were talking strategy and statistics; Red Sox caps came out in every possible color.

It reminded me of how fun and exciting it can be to pretend to be a tomboy even for a little while, especially in the summer, and get your head and heart into a game. Sports are made not just by the playing, but by the watching. Every great athlete dreams not just of winning, but of having the crowd go wild. Read More »

(Get it!? Fish Issue? A Fish-ue? HA!)

I have a love/hate relationship with David Beckham.

I love him because: he’s f-ing hot, he plays soccer, his abs are ridonkulus.
I hate him because: I can’t have him, he’s almost too perfect.

Not anymore! Becks has a flaw (besides the fact that he’s taken): fishy breath.

Is it weird that I love him more for it? I mean, let’s be honest - would you toss this guy out of your bed because of a slight breath issue?

In this episode, the Lohans FINALLY get to Vegas! They didn’t fly there in a private jet though, which I’m gonna admit was a bit of a let down (I expected some major control issues and perhaps Dina’s debut as a pilot), and there was no liquor fueled dramz. While the episode was age appropriately absent of hard booze, it was heavy on the whine.

For some reason, Ali chooses to adopt an even more nasally tone for this 25 minute tribute to ungratefulness. She complains in this obnoxious tantrum pending voice about all of the trials life has delivered to her. Like the fact that she, her awesome brother and (arguably) cool mom have to live in a tricked out penthouse at the Palms while she records her album. I guess it gets pretty taxing when you’re attending all of these exhausting “Welcome to Vegas!” parties (with delicious looking cake) thrown just for you by the f*#king Maloufs.

Ugh, sorry about that. Anyways, Dina introduces Ali (who is wearing a gorgeous but way too mature minidress) to a bunch of important 30 something guys that she wants Ali to “get comfortable with.” Dina baby, they’re mentally undressing your 14 year old — not very comfort inducing, I would say. The men all flirt with Ali while she fidgets, present her the aforementioned cake (note to self, go buy something with chocolate as soon as I’m done writing) and begin an episode long tradition of complimenting Ali and promising her she’s the next big thing. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 148
Mood: Unsteady

“I can’t believe I actually came with you!”

Rebecca slammed the front door behind us and yelled, doing her best to be heard over the loud, pumping music coming from the living room.

“I’m glad you did!” I screamed, “I would never have come by myself!”

The soccer house was already crammed full of people, everyone who was on campus during January break, it seemed, so it took us a few minutes to maneuver ourselves towards the epicenter of the party. I did my best to lead the way, grasping Rebecca’s hand tightly and pushing through people as inconspicuously as possible. It was past ten thirty, so most of the partygoers were too drunk to even notice Rebecca and I squeezing by them. Politeness is always wasted on the wasted.

As we pushed our way into the living room, I scanned the place for Sasha or Justin.

Do you see them?” Rebecca yelled into my ear and pulled her t-shirt down uncomfortably. Parties weren’t her thing, especially parties like this one. I made a mental note to buy her cupcakes someday soon. She deserved cupcakes. Read More »