I have something to tell you: I am not petite. At 5’10 and not a size 4, I am what many would consider a biggish girl. And that makes it hard to date. Especially because I want to date a nice, Jewish boy…who also happens to be bigger than me. No offense to my people out there, but there are very few Jewish males who reach above 5’5. (And I have been looking for years!)

People always yell at me and tell me I am being too picky, (“What is the big deal?” “Why not someone who is at least your height??”) but I can’t help it. And trust me – I have tried.

Last weekend, I went home with a very attractive boy – my height, super hot …but really, really skinny. I was already nervous enough to strip down to my skivvies, considering my post beer belly. But, thanks to the power of that very beer, I was feelin’ frisky, so strip I did. We had our fun. When it was time to go to bed, though, I couldn’t find my undergarments in the pile of clothes on the floor, so the boy threw me a pair of his boxers to sleep in. And it was like putting in a pair of Spanx. Or plaid biker shorts.

Totally true.
Totally embarrassing. Read More »

Step aside, Spanx!

There’s a new brand of body shaper in town, but this time it’s…for men?

WHAT?!

Now, ladies: we all do it. Whether it’s a padded bra (oh, excuse me “lightly lined bra”. Honey, you’re still faking it), control top pantyhose or even the aforementioned, miracle-working Spanx, we’re all guilty of some, shall we say, false advertising.

I am the first to admit it, and frankly, I think it’s great. Seriously, some dresses just require that I shake more (or less) than what my Mama gave me, and I will happily snap up something silicone and/or lycra-based to make it work.

From corsets to girdles and beyond, body-shaping is nothing new for us girls. It is not new, nor is it novel; on the contrary, a certain amount is expected. I like to think it adds to the feminine mystique of preparing for a night out, like eyelash curlers, body scrubs and complicated lingerie.

But on a guy?? Really?? I’m sorry, this is not something I can get behind. Yes, we all agree that modern menfolk can have body issues just like their female counterparts. Metrosexuality is de rigeur, and I’ve accepted that sometimes men will smell better or have softer skin than I do. So, when I read that men’s underwear brands like 2(X)ist were creating new lines featuring ‘spandex briefs and tank tops designed to have a trimming effect’, I tried to keep an open mind, but suspected it was an isolated incident. Read More »

Every day, girls all over America are doing their best to be “cute and skinny”.

Dieting, working out, spending hours in the bathroom, squeezing ourselves into tight pants, strapping on a pair of Spanx, we’ll do whatever it takes to reach the pinnacle of girly beauty.

Over in Japan, guys are doing the exact same thing (minus the Spanx…I think).

Traditionally, it was the women of Japan who strived to be tiny, but after the country went through a “health and exercise boom” about 7 years ago, the “new Japanese woman” wasn’t afraid to show off her curves and muscles, and was “proud” of her sexuality.

Guys, on the other hand, started to shrink.

“Young males between the ages of 18 and 30 make up the slimmest segment of the [Japanese] population” explains the International Herald Tribune, “and the ideal fashion weight as decreed by the apparel industry is 57 kilograms, or about 125 pounds, for a height of 175 centimeters, or 5 feet 8 inches”.

No six-packs or bursting biceps here. At 125 pounds, most of these guys probably don’t have the arm strength to lift much of anything, let alone weights. Read More »

A few weeks ago, I walked out into broad daylight wearing what I thought was an opaque dress. After getting a few strange glares, I made it to my friend’s place and looked in the mirror.

The dress was, in fact, see-through; there was my underwear, in clear view. Great.

To solve my transparent problem, my friend handed me a pair of black Spanx.

What was originally meant to simply cover up the bottom half of my body, I soon realized also made the dress look even better on my body! That’s because Spanx are super tight, super slimming biker-like type shorts that take you in at least a couple of dress sizes around the hips and thighs.

Which is why I’m not surprised to find out that all of these “perfectly tiny” celebs are using Spanx to appear….dun dun dunnnnnnnn….

skinnier!!!

Tyra’s an advocate (obvi)! Even this girl is wearing them! (Who the hell is she?)

EVERYONE in Hollywood is wearing them, even though they don’t want you to know! Well, guess what. Secret’s out.

“Assets” are an affordable brand you can find at Target.

These things work wonders for the body. They’re sleek, seamless and definitely pull in any unwanted lumps and bumps. The only real problem I can think of when wearing Spanx is - make sure you do NOT, and I repeat - do NOT engage in sexual activity while wearing them. Don’t forget you have them on whilst getting down and dirty. Read More »