This weekend I got drunk. Really drunk. For 13 hours straight. I said inappropriate things, I ate things I would never eat on a normal day (sausage, donuts, mayo…not together), and I threw up in my mouth a little and swallowed it.

But I did not get anywhere near a car and never would have even considered driving anywhere in that state of mind.

So why did yet another celebrity get arrested for driving under the influence? Heather Locklear, who was in a rehab center earlier this year for “anxiety,” was pulled over yesterday in L.A. for driving erratically on the highway. No information has been released as to what was in her system, but come on! When you are doing drugs or drinking, be smart and have someone else drive your car!

You think these people would have learned by now after Nicole, Paris, Lindsay, little Hogan, etc., but no.

This taught me an important lesson, though: never go to L.A. Not only do you have the very real potential of running into Spencer and Heidi, but you also have a very real potential of ending up on the road with one of these dumb and dangerous celebs.

Amy Winehouse misses her own birthday party.

Spencer and Heidi’s Give Me Attention tour rolls on.

J-Lo spent her Sunday running, biking and swimming.

Lindsay and Samantha take a stab at child rearing.

Britney is actually releasing another album.

Hurricaine Ike Vs. Weather Man. Point: Ike.

A hot leather jacket on a college girl’s budget.

J-Hud is gettin’ married!

8 songs for the perfect strip tease!

Palin’s church wants to convert gays?

Sir Paul McCartney ‘Will Be Dead“?!

90-year-old badass grandma

Partying at Columbia look kinda boring

Why your dreams are worse than your dude’s

I watch a lot of really bad TV, but I can proudly admit that I have never watched a single episode of The Tyra Banks Show. That bitch is crazy; I had enough of her antics on ANTM. That being said, after hearing that Speidi would be making an appearance on Monday’s episode, I searched the interwebs high and low to find a clip of their interview.

The highlights are below.



Having Heidi, Spencer and Tyra in one place should really cause the world to implode, no? That’s a whole lot of douche for one stage. I don’t even really know where to begin. Maybe with Heidi’s awful Heidiwood ensemble? Or the fact that she and Spencer have been denying for two years that they had anything to do with the tape, only to openly discuss it on national television? (Although, this is the Tyra show; it really doesn’t count.) Or when Spencer, so eloquently, discusses his distaste for watching Lauren’s alleged sex tape. Or, my favorite, when Heidi admits that she was in surgery (getting those boobs/lips/facelift) the day the rumor of the video hit the world.