Tonight’s episode of The Hills was similar to one they have at least once a season. You know - nothing happens, but the episode is still necessary to begin building up the drama that will come next week. It’s OK, though; the episode wasn’t a total loss:

Heidi finally admitted to spreading the sex tape rumor!
“I said things out of anger that I didn’t mean.”

We got you, Montag. I knew it was you all along. Obviously, I know that evil Spencer coerced you into doing it, but I could always tell you were lying about having no part in it (which was difficult considering the fact that your face doesn’t move anymore, and, therefore, your “expressions” are hard to read). Read More »

Whenever I meet a good friend’s boyfriend, I try really hard to like the guy and get to know him. I mean if he makes her so happy, I have to give him a fair shot, right? But some of the guys my friends have chosen were, well, complete a**holes and no matter how hard I tried I grew to seriously dislike these dudes.

And kinda sorta wanna punch them.

So what’s a girl to do when her friend is dating a douche? From my experiences, I’ve found a few ways to handle this situation.

Talk to your friend. If you think your friend’s boyfriend is treating her badly, then speak up! Calmly explain why you think her boyfriend isn’t treating her well and state a specific example. This way, if your friend asks why you think her guy is treating her badly you’ll have a legit reason and won’t look like you’re just randomly dissing on him.

My best friend’s first boyfriend would constantly lie to her about other girls and where he had been. I talked to my friend about this and told her I didn’t think he was treating her well. I reminded her of specific events where she had caught him in a lie and other times when he had just been plain rude.
Pro: You’ll finally be able to talk openly with your friend about her guy and let her know how you really feel.
Con: If taken the wrong way, you two could end up in a fight because she might think you’re attacking her guy to make them break up. Read More »

Looks like the joke’s on us, ladies. We were all tossing and turning last night worried about the fate of our dear Brody and Doug in jail, only to learn that they were not arrested.

They were in CASINO jail pressing charges against someone for pussy punching Doug and dumping a bloody mary on Brody. MTV, I hate you.

The real drama of the episode had nothing to do with jail at all. It had to do with Audrina, runny mascara and Spencer officially going down as the biggest jerk of all time.

Let’s begin with Spencer (because I can’t hold it in anymore). I would just like to ask – again – if anyone else remembers that time when Spencer was down and out over his breakup with Barbie and he turned to his sister for help. He did not clean up after himself. He never really left the couch. So now he has Heidi’s sis on his couch (or in his “office,” as he refers to it) for 48 hours and he won’t stop crying about it. Read More »

Holy drama. It looks like the crew from The Hills is battling the whole “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” thang. There was some major shiz goin’ down in the City of Sin that is definitely goin’ back to L.A. with these kids.

Before you get all “Awww, Stephanie cried! She does have a heart,” on me, let’s discuss. Yes, I did feel sorta bad for the girl when she started crying into her filet mignon at dinner, but I can’t hate on Brody for making the girl crack. She started the whole scene by calling him out; what did she expect to happen? Her intent was to make him look bad and he just flipped it back around on her.

Everyone else is hating on Brody now for making a girl (or devil) cry, but I got your back, Brody. You and Audrina. Read More »

I was raised, essentially, without TV. I use the word ‘essentially’ because we did have a TV. We just also had extremely conservative republican parents filtering everything that we watched on the total of 2 or 3 channels that we received with our antenna on the top of our TV. (One of those channels was, conveniently, The Christian Network where I was routinely made to watch The 700 Club.)

So, needless to say, TV wasn’t a big part of my childhood. That was fine by me; I spent my time outside and learning how to play guitar.

When I moved out and into dorms at 18, I still didn’t watch TV much. I think there was one in my dorm, but I wouldn’t have noticed either way. It just wasn’t a part of my life. But when I moved in with new roomies in a real apartment when I was 19, everything changed. Not only did we have a TV, but we had every channel (not to mention On Demand and, mmmm, DVR). I learned to love TV.

In fact, I’m watching it right now.

Since I have spent a few years getting to know the ins and out of this tube and the entertainment that it so benevolently offers me, I have noticed that there are some very bad people on TV. And I love lists. So, naturally, I made a list of the worst people on TV. Read More »

Whew! Tonight’s episode of The Hills really wiped me out. Between all that bicoastal travel and those beers I had at my Labor Day BBQ, I was tired. Although it may also have to due with my lingering hangover from Saturday’s festivities.

But I digress.

It seems as though with every passing episode of The Hills I find myself hating someone else. First it was Spencer (duh), then Heidi (double duh), then Jen Bunny, Lauren and, naturally, Lo. Well, another one bites the dust: Whitney.

Don’t get me wrong - Whitney is awesome. She is nice, smart, driven and has a killer wardrobe. But the fact that she gets to travel between L.A. and NYC dressing hot guys for model casting calls just makes me want to scream. Why her?! Why not me?! That girl must have some sort of magical spell on Kelly Cutrone; she made the woman smile!

And it was scary.

While Whit was off playing Dress the Hottie on the East Coast, LC was back in L.A. trying to break things off with Doug. I don’t really know why you’d break up with a guy who looks that good (considering the guy she really loves wears camo…), but I do have to commend her on actually sitting down and breaking things off. I tend to stick to the “avoid him until he gets it” tactic, so it was admirable– while totally awkward – that she went to his place to give him the news. Read More »

Heidism #1: She’s killing NYC one bar at a time

Phelps has an Entourage

Meet the cast of the new 90210 (none of which are nearly as hot as Luke “steal my heart” Perry)

Asking her out via Facebook status

Heidism #2: Joel McHale continues to be my comedy lover

Can your dude take the tampon challenge?

Reasons not to have sex

Miss Obama’s speech last night?  Read it here

Heidism #3: The only McCain VP choice that would have gotten MORE press than Palin

OMG I just watched a Panda GIVE BIRTH

These guys are NOT WELCOME in my bed

Celebs at the DNC

Puppies are cute, snuggly Cancer detectors.

This can’t be the actual video, right?

Another book I really don’t want to read, but most definitely will.

You can never trust a man to do anything right.

I will never look at Ramen the same way again.

Why are we so addicted to watching rich people on TV?

Want to hate Spencer and Heidi even more? Find out how much money they rake in…for being annoying.

The Clothes that Got me Laid: better than a wingman.

Everyone hates “Project Runway” this season.

Ugh - I should have been a naval architect.

Looks like I won’t be watching the VMAs after all.