Welcome to the Baby Daddy War.

One is a super strong, sexy hockey hero; the other is just a hot, hometown Southern boy. But Levi Johnston and Casey Aldridge really aren’t that different. They both have really strong sperm, they are both being forced into marriage (allegedly), and they both decided to knock up the wrong girl.

They are also both kinda sexy in that “I would never touch that, but I can see why that girl let him impregnate her” sorta way.

Would you want your name tattooed on either of their middle fingers?
Which one’s child would you be willing to carry?

VS.

I have been addicted to Diet Coke for years. I used to start off with a jumbo fountain D.C. on my way to class at 10 AM, followed by another one at lunch and yet another (mixed with rum) for an evening snack. There was nothing on this planet that could come between me and my beloved Diet Coke. In fact, I wasn’t sure there was any way I could love it any more.

But, dear readers, there is: it seems that not only is Diet Coke the tastiest, most delectable treat on this planet….

It is also an effective spermicide! Read More »

Have you cracked out the hot dogs yet? The chips? The sparklers that you fully intend to try and burn your friends with? Well, us too. July 4th — even if you do nothing but stare at a grill for three hours or eat coleslaw with your fingers while watching fireworks on TV — is a day that just yells celebration. It’s summer. It’s a long weekend. Watermelon is in abundance…what isn’t there to love?

Well, apparently, one of your editors has found something not to love. The very thing many of us equate with the 4th…

Read More »

Everyone thinks living in a small New England town — especially a small New England town by the water — would be the best thing ever. It would be so safe and homey, everyone thinks, so quiet and rustic, no stress! Just miles and miles of cute little houses and a cute little pier to launch cute little boats from.

Let me tell you something - that thought process is sh*t.

Everyone is up in arms about these Gloucester girls who made a pregnancy pact, and no one can understand why anyone would just throw their life away by having a baby before they can even legally buy cigarettes. But I understand. I totally understand. It makes sense. You know why? Because not every small New England town is picturesque and middle class. Some of them are cramped, poor, lonley, and boring as f*ck.

How am I such an expert? I grew up in one. Not the kind that’s stitched onto potholders and immortalized in cute Cape Cod beach shops — the kind where front lawns are strewn with old car parts, you can hear your neighbor’s drunken fist fights from your living room, and schools barely manage to give out textbooks printed before 1983. A town kind of like Gloucester, Massachusetts. Read More »

Making sure a guy wears a condom can sometimes be a bit of an uphill battle, but asking him to plug up his sperm and/or take a birth control pill might be just a tiny bit harder.

Although nothing like the aforementioned methods are on the market yet, scientists are busily researching ways to make men more active in pregnancy prevention.

At the second annual “Future of Male Contraception” conference held in Seattle this week (seriously, they have those?) sponsors such as the National Institute of Health and World Health Organization eagerly watched as new guy-based contraception inventions were unveiled.

Some of the new developments revealed were:

• The Intra Vas Device, “a set of removable plugs [which] block sperm in the vas deferens, the tube that’s cut in a vasectomy”.

Oh, I’m sure the guys will be lining up for this little procedure! Plugging up tubes in the body doesn’t sound comfortable, either. It kinda sounds like your balls would be constipated, no? Lovely, I’m sure.

• SARM (Selective Androgen receptor modulator), a “Testosterone-like pill” recently used as a muscle-wasting treatment that may also lower sperm count.

Awesome! So basically this is going to turn your man into a testicle-less non-man? Please tell me no. Read More »