The Chilean police have arrested a woman who tried to perform a “routine” outside the presidential palace.

Though the government strongly opposed her behavior, the media has dubbed Monserrat Morilles La Diosa Metro, or “Metro Goddess.” The attemped performance outside of the palace followed a series of stripteases that Morilles carried out on Santiago subways.

Whereas the U.S. rewards nudity with notoriety (look at NYC’s Naked Cowboy!), Chilean society isn’t quite so liberated. In an attempt to make the introverted Chile a “happier” country, Morilles boarded the metro at one station, and performed a striptease while the train sped to the next station, where the entertainer deboarded the car.

I wonder if American media has influenced the Metro Goddess in any way? Stripping in front of a government office? Maybe VH1 should pick her up and give her her own reality dating show.

She’ll give you a lap dance, as long as you hold her cane

I guess I’m not the only one who has no idea how to do that damn self breast exam

How to “unlock” your iPhone 3G

Sure! Let’s define Birth Control as abortion!! Sounds like a plan, George W!!!

Yo, stop buying sh*t

I always thought they were recycling this stuff

Oh man, these Belugas are seriously tripping me out

Some best friend she is

Eat your Pork Rinds, Billy! They’re good for you

Sarah Jessica Parker’s Mole…ohmygod you guys, it’s gone!!

I think every girl has had to face the whole stripper situation at one point or another. (Not whether to be one….) How your boyfriend thinks of strip clubs - as a place to grab a bite during a lunch break or an occasional bachelor party - will inevitably come up in a relationship. And everyone is bound to feel differently about the whole tits-in-your-man’s-face situation.

If you’re one of those girls who isn’t phased by the idea of your significant other’s face in the crotch of another chick, a naked one at that, more frigin’ power to you. However, those of you that are, like me – a woman who, regardless of my confidence prefers if my boyfriend’s face stays out of a strippers cooch – let’s discuss.

I get that guys “need” to go to the bachelor party because they want to share in their buddy’s last night of being a single guy. I understand the need to watch him squirm while the guys embarrass him by having some stripper sweat all over him; however, any man of mine, will not be partaking in such close contact festivities.

I am not – in any way – trying to directly bash strippers; you take your clothes off, look good doing it and make lots of loot. More power to you. I just won’t accept someone I touch, getting touched by a chick who gets paid to give men – all shapes and sizes – attention. So, when my boyfriend informed me that he was going to a strip club (to forwarn me and gauge my reaction) I simply tried my best to bite my tongue. Read More »

Diablo Cody: She stripped…and no one wants to forget that

Gas has almost doubled in a year. I smell the fumes of a conspiracy…

Blohan is poor and boring.

The Pentagon wanted Guantanamo Bay interrogation notes destroyed. Conspiracy #2?

Rupert Everett isn’t a fan of America. That’s okay. I can’t remember ever being a fan of him.

The dreaded College Wait List just got more confusing.

Midwesterners are drenched. But if you live there…your basement has already told you this.

Man, do I love the Golden Girls

This is pretty much the scariest picture that has ever been burned into my rentas

In this episode, Ali finally experiences the price she’ll pay for being “just” like her sister. Dressed like a Firewoman stripper, Ali goes to a block party in LoLand and is severely creamed. Shaving creamed — minds out of the gutter! Dina gets a call from the school guidance counselor telling her some serious harassing went down at escuela, they agree it’s best for Ali to stay home for a few days.

First of all Ali, if you are serious about becoming your sister, I have some advice:

Lindsay would not have taken that shiz! One false move and that’s a Grey Groose martini down the front of your Betsey Johnson.

Ali asks Dina if she can be home-schooled, but Dina’s only advice is that she’d love to see Ali on stage…at graduation. Dina goes to other members of the LoClan for help. Nana (yes!) suggests that Ali needs to stand up to these mean girls. Michael Lohan Jr. (I didn’t know he existed?) adds that every girl has to cope with a few megabitches throughout life, but it’s just part of growing up.

Dina ignores both of them and continues to baby Ali and give her special attention, like in dance class. Dina found IMPACT online and thinks it’s great. Ali thinks IMPACT is “STUPID”. I can’t tell if this is just a typical weird mom idea, or an attempt to showcase Ali’s multi-cultural appreciation. And then Dina gets down while Ali watches embarrassedly. I love her more and more every episode. Read More »

[Editor’s Note: New York Magazine does these Sex Diaries that are sometimes cool, sometimes lame. Sometimes they’re interesting portrayals of every day life, and sometimes they make it seem like EVERYONE in New York City is having copious amounts of crazy sex — which isn’t always the case, btw. What would happen, I wondered, if some of CC’s writers blogged about their sex life for a week? Would it be cooler? Funnier? More believable?

Let’s see…]

DAY ONE
9:15 a.m.: Walking to the gym in sweatpants, a dirty wifebeater, no makeup. Get catcalled by at least fifteen people. Oh, ethnic neighborhood, you’re so charming.
12:03 p.m.: Walking home from the gym in the same gear as before, only now drenched in sweat, get catcalled by about fifteen more people. I finally tell one of them to f*ck off. It feels good. His response? “Someone needs to get laid!” I hate dudes.
11:23 p.m.: At my place of business which is, in fact, a strip club, where I am, in fact, a stripper. A scruffy but jovial old man solicits me for a trip to the VIP room, which I gladly agree to (Guaranteed $160 for a half hour? Hell yes!), but first warn him that I’m not one of those girls that do “special favors” in said room. He says that’s fine and wanders off to get more cash from the ATM.
11:43 p.m.: After about ten minutes, the old man pulls out his dick and asks me to give him a blowjob. I tell him no way in hell; I already said that’s not how I do. He tells me it’s fine, because he has a condom. I tell him he can get the f*ck out.
11:50 p.m.: After five minutes of arguing and an extra fifty bucks for being an asshole, we finish the dance and the guy behaves himself. Before we exit the room he kisses me on the cheek and tells me I’m a lovely girl. Read More »

Yeah, I do not concur with Bret on that.

I missed the first four minutes of the show but that doesn’t matter because my Trantastique is back with the subtitles! I’ve missed her so. Aubrey calls her a man and Bret insists that Trantastique is all woman which is kind of terrfying if you think about how up close you know Bret got to that. Poor thing had to quit stripping because everyone just wanted to talk to her and wouldn’t let her take off her clothes. I would want to just talk to her, too. She gives Bret a last lap dance and I am overwhelmed by her thoughtfulness. Read More »

Let’s just get right into this. I’m calling Daisy the Blow Fish/Skank Spice/Stripper with the Plastic Face for the win.

The show starts with the elimination that we saw from the previous episode, with Bret telling Ambre and Daisy to pack it up for Cancun. Bret’s excited because VH1 planned some great stuff at the Me by Melia Cancun.

Once they arrive and get setteld, the three go to dinner. Bret has questions for the ladies - but Daisy pulls out a list of questions of her own and Ambre and I are suprised at her reading and writing abilities. Blow Fish asks Bret about how he’s always referring to their physical attraction and Bret says that it’s because Daisy is still a “mystery” to him. There’s no mystery in Hep C, Bret.

Ambre tells Daisy that she leads with her sexuality and I don’t think that Daisy understands what that means.

Bret moves on to tell Ambre that her “win at all costs” attitude throws him off - and then she throws me off by kissing Bret. Was that to shut him up? Is Ambre all about her TV hosting career?

Anyway, Ambre and her two-toned hair have a date the next day, Daisy the day after.

So the next day as Ambre’s about to go on her Bret date, Daisy tells Ambre that it hurt her feelings when Ambre said that she leads with her sexuality. “I’m not afraid to be sexy.” It turns into Daisy telling Ambre that Ambre’s feeling inadequate and then Daisy tries to imitate Ambre’s walk. Ambre walks like a hunchback? Oh, Daisy, Ambre and the rest of the female population wish that they could be like you. Read More »

Okay, let’s get one thing straight. When people go to strip clubs and titty bars, they go there for the nakedness. Not the costumes, not the lighting, not the soundtrack (I mean, who hasn’t heard their fill of Pour Some Sugar On Me?), the nakedness.

Strip clubs are for seeing more than you could see strolling across a beach. Experiencing porn-like situations. Living out fantasies. Wasting hundreds of dollars. These are the sorts of experiences strip clubs provide. It’s common sense.

Except to idiots. Like Delegate John A. Cosgrove, a Chesapeake, Virginia, Republican. Cosgrove recently sponsored a bill that fights back against an August ruling that a Virginia law “prohibiting lewd conduct at establishments with liquor licenses was unconstitutional and too broad”. Read More »

Button up ladies, tuck in those bras, put away the lipgloss…apparently, sexy is on the out.

During a recent call with investors of Victorias Secret, Chief Executive Sharen Turney announced her belief that the brand has gotten….”too sexy”.

GASP. TOO SEXY?! Is there such a thing? I mean, you’re a lingerie store! Read More »