At this point, as I’m sitting here on my couch, nearing the end of day 4 without drinking, I am starting to really believe that I may not be an alcoholic. Granted, I am sitting here eyeing the beer that is in my roomie’s hand. My other roomie, who is on this mission with me, is undoubtedly eyeing it, too.

I spend most Sundays, and yes, even EASTER, entirely preoccupied with a predictable hang over. I lay around in my bed with multiple glasses of water. I check Myspace religiously and later feel accomplished when I gather the strength to order in food.

Today, clearly, was different. I woke up and started to get sh*t done! The trouble, however, even amidst my productivity, was the fact that today was Easter. Something about religious holidays, particularly those on which I typically participate in a family gathering of some sort, tend to make me want to drink. You see, I come from an Irish family. I hope that that says enough. Read More »

I know lots of people who swear by fasts.

Three day grapefruit fasts, weeklong juice regimes, monthly cleanses, I’ve heard them all, and haven’t wanted to try a single one.

Call me strange, but I’m a fan of food. I’m no holy profit or international peace symbol, and since shrugging off my Roman Catholicism, feel no guilt for eating a sandwich on Good Friday. Basically, I have no need to give up food I work two jobs to pay for.

My friends go on and on about the health benefits of fasting, but I’ve always felt eating a regular healthy diet has it’s own health benefits—with the added incentive of energy.

While I totally respect and appreciate people who abstain from food for religious reasons, I’ve just never been the kind of girl to equate being hungry with being healthy.

That was until I realized a good friend of mine, who is completely normal and well adjusted in every way, regularly fasted on Sundays.

“All I drink is green tea” she told me a few weeks ago when I asked her why she wasn’t joining me for lunch, and explained that flushing out her body and relaxing once a week was one of the best things she’d ever done for herself.

While my friend is on the thin side, she watches her weight very closely, and explained that giving her body one day a week to “get rid of toxins” in a simple, easy way has really helped her maintain her weight. Read More »

• Telling your parents your new boyfriend is an Eagle Scout isn’t as appealing now, is it? (clickondetroit.com)

• UMass student gets C, sues school, is total crybaby. Is also as old as our father. Gross. (boston.com)

• Atlantic City Mayor goes AWOL. Atlantic City resident appoints himself new mayor. (kyw.com)

• Stop being rude at work…everyone’s talking about you. (jhu.edu)

• This is the best dog I’ve ever seen! (UK Dailymail)

• Three hilarious scenes from one of the best comedies ever. Plus, I love Paul Rudd. (COED Magazine)

• Sunday is National Porn Sunday. This (and some other) churches are totally celebrating. Awkward. (nwfdailynews.com)

As you already know, this Sunday is Mother’s Day. I know, I know. Just when you’ve spent your last five-dollars on a glass of overpriced beer at the bar, it’s time to come up with a gift. This is a big one too. I know all mothers say that it’s not a big deal if you forget, but it totally is. Don’t screw this up. I just got my mom an autographed copy of the new Chuck Palahniuk book.

Yeah it’s kind of inappropriate, but so is my mother. This is the lady who gives me such words of advice as, “Mary, if you’re going to get a tattoo, get it someplace where it is easy to cover up….in case you marry well. You go to Dartmouth.” Ah Mom, what would I do without you…besides scare away preppy boys by having too much ink.

So if you don’t have a gift for that special lady, don’t you fret. Here are a few gifts you can charge to the old credit card (consider it a write-off) and ship home in time to get yourself some much needed brownie points. Read More »