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It\'s Holiday Season!

Welcome to holiday season! Sure,
you may not be able to shop, shop,
shop like you usually do this time of
year (thank you, Wall Street!), but
that doesn’t make it any less glorious!
There’s the music! And the movies!
And the general good mood of everyone
around you. We, like everyone else,
loooove
this time of year…and we don’t
even celebrate Christmas!
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Pipe Cleaning & PinUps: ROL 2 Recap: Episode 4

03.jpgVH1 was smart – rather than being trounced by the Super Bowl in the ratings (because I would have been the only one watching Rock Of Love), they made me wait a week so that I could properly heal from the blow of losing Trantastique.

…And to learn the surprising news that Daisy has probably slept with Bret. And by surprising I mean like the total opposite of surprising.

I can’t believe that she waited a whole three days.

Anyway, the house rumor that starts Episode Four is that Daisy and Bret did IT. I don’t see why everyone’s making such a big deal about it since she’s probably not going to be the only one who sleeps with Bret before this mess is all over. I laugh at my Ice Princess Kristy Joe’s camera-emphatic “Skank!” and applaud Aubry’s stretch Escalade confrontation.

This week’s challenge: the girls will be split into two teams to build a motorcycle. The lead mechanic wins a solo date, the other team members get a group date and the losing team’s head mechanic has to clean Bret’s bike with a toothbrush. Whiskey voiced Peyton is excited. Yawn. I’m not. Seriously, I’m so close to done with these annoying chicks, except for Inna, because I want to get drunk with her, and Kristy Joe, because I just like her for no good reason. Read More »

Quickie: Justin Timberlake + Pepsi = Funny

I admit, I’m one of those people who watch the Super Bowl mostly for the commercials (although this year, I almost shed a tear when my New England Pats choked at the end…NH pride, baby!), and while advertisers were mildly funny yesterday, there were really only a few commercials stood out for me.

One featured Justin Timberlake getting his ass kicked. Now, I’ve never really been JT’s biggest fan; I don’t find him that attractive, I’m not really into his music, and sometimes I think he comes off kinda self-involved…but I gotta hand it to the guy: the more he acts, the better I like him.

Also, who isn’t into watching someone getting hit in the nuts not once, not twice, but three times?!

Get Your Chips and Dip Ready for Super Bowl Sunday

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There’s a known hierarchy of important items on Super Bowl Sunday, and it goes something like this:

3. The game.
2. The commercials.
1. The FOOD!

Chips and dip are a huge crowd-pleaser, but why run out to the store and load up when you can just make your own? Here’s a pair of simple recipes that’s sure to be the hit of your party.

First, put together your guacamole. Slice an avocado lengthwise, remove the pit and skin, then smash the flesh with a fork in a small bowl (sounds like fun, doesn’t it?).

Add about one-third of a large tomato (chopped), one diced garlic clove, and one tablespoon of chopped fresh cilantro.

Mash it all together again. Finally, add salt to taste and a couple of teaspoons of lemon juice. Stir well, stick it in the fridge until kickoff time, and you’re done!

While the guac is chilling, you can make the chips. Preheat the oven to 350, then coat a large baking sheet or two with tinfoil.

Slice two soft tortillas or wraps of any flavor (I like to use whole-wheat or spinach-garlic) into triangular, chip-shaped wedges. Arrange the wedges on the baking sheets, cook 10-12 minutes, and there you have it—tasty, homemade chips and guacamole for four!

Football: If Borat Can Learn It, So Can You.


Thanks a lot Borat and Coach Joseph, but we still don’t understand what a two-point conversion or a punt return is.

(That’s actually my high school…Imagine having Coach Jo as a World History teacher.)

Anyway, its that time of year. Super Bowl parties! We want to be there for the food, commercials, and booze, but what is this football business going on in the middle of all that? Sitting through a football game, clueless as to what’s going on is roughly equivalent to conversational Farsi.

Growing up in a devout Texas football town, I will tell you that it takes years for the fairer sex to pick up the hundreds of rules and terms, as we have spent most of football season gossiping in the stands. I’ve gone and written out some of the more important ones that will help you follow the game and impress the boys. Guys think you are SO rad if you’re actually into football, but until you prove yourself, you’ll be treated as a spy. Read More »

Don’t Be THAT Chick on Super Bowl Sunday


Don’t you just L-O-V-E the Super Bowl? It’s that time of the year when all of the dudes in our lives melt themselves down into screaming little boys.

They stuff their faces with whatever you put in front of them, drink their manjuice from a keg, and lose their temper at the television set.

As grotesque as this may sound to some of you, I actually enjoy this night. Then again, I’ve always been pretty good at kicking it with the guys.

There is a certain art to hanging with the guys, specially on Super Bowl Sunday, without being THAT chick. You know…THAT chick:

1. Who’s there solely to baby sit her boyfriend.
2. Who’s there solely because she has no life outside of her boyfriend.
3. Who’s there to invite all of the girls so that they could all have “Girl Time” while the boys have “Boy Time”.
4. Who admits she’s only there for the food and beer.
5. Who doesn’t know which teams are playing.

You don’t wanna be any of those girls. Instead, use this event as a chance to prove your ability to truly hang. The cool points you’ll score might just last you all year.

So how do you do it? Read More »