Days as a Freshman: 116
Mood: Startled

“Not many girls would jump up and down in the middle of the woods at ten at night.”

Justin and I were walking back through the dark path towards campus, my fingers occasionally grabbing onto his sweatshirt for support as we dodged shadowed roots and branches. I could have stayed in that starlit clearing with him forever, and probably would have, if Rebecca hadn’t called me, worried and wondering why I wasn’t back in our room.

Realizing we had been outside for over an hour, Justin decided it was time to go back. I wasn’t sure if he had been caught off guard by the quick passage of time like me, or if he just really wanted to get warm, but whatever the case, when he stood up and started back towards the dorms, I followed.

“You’re a good sport with putting up with my weirdness.” Stepping over a root, Justin reached out to help me do the same. “I usually don’t let people see how awkward I am until I know them really well.”

“Well, I’m perma-awkward, so you’re in good company.” I grabbed his hand and hopped over the root, but the contact of his skin against mine rattled my head so much I let go too soon and almost toppled over.

“Whoa, you okay?” Catching my arm, Justin stopped and waited until I was standing steady again.

“I told you, perma-awkward.” I laughed to cover my embarrassment and was glad the night hid my burning cheeks. “I can’t even walk right.”

Justin chuckled. We stood facing each other for a moment, one of the longer moments in my recent memory, until Justin let his eyes fall to the ground. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 113
Mood: Smiling

“There’s a bench back here.”

I pushed the last couple of bare branches out of my way and walked into a man-made clearing in the back of the campus woods. Justin was sitting in the middle of the small space, sitting on the bench, his eyes on the stars.

The way his sweatshirt was pulled around his head, the way his mouth was slightly open in concentration, the way his eyes traced the clear night skyline above us, made it easy to see what he must have looked like as a boy. Skinny and sweet, adorable because he didn’t know it, innocent for longer than most other kids. Maybe I was making it all up, maybe the dark was making me seen things that weren’t there, but in the moment before he looked at me, I really thought I had seen all I needed to know about Justin.

“Come on over.” He smiled. “The stars are awesome.” Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 111
Mood: Cold and happy

“I didn’t know you knew Sammy.”

Justin and I walked away from the dorms, down a side path on the outskirts of campus, our breath grey against the dark shadows of the woods.

“I didn’t know you knew her.” The cold night air was scratching at my hands. I stuffed them into my pockets and gripped the fabric, flexing the ice out of my fingers. “You could have told me.”

“It never came up.” Justin pulled his sweatshirt hood over his head, jumping onto a small wooden bridge that led into the woods. “Wanna go down here for a bit? It might snow.”

“You sure nothing wild will eat me?” I joined him on the bridge. “I have finals tomorrow.”

“There’s nothing wild in these woods, kid. Believe me.”

Justin disappeared into the tall pines and I followed close behind, wishing I at least had a hat, and wondering just when I was going to go over my notes for the big English final on Monday.

Justin had knocked on Sammy’s door just to say hi, stopping dead in the doorway when he saw Rebecca and I. His eyes slid around the room, bouncing off our faces, his mouth trying to decide what exactly should come out first. Feeling the air pulling tight around everyone, I decided to do something I don’t normally do and spoke up. Read More »