Aside from the night after you’ve taken your last final, the first week of school is generally the best time of the whole semester. The weather is great, you’re reunited with all of your friends, and the school year has returned just when you were starting to feel like you had too much free time.

The campus is buzzing with returning students, eager to see what the new year has in store. Even if you anticipate your hardest semester to date, there’s still a feeling of excitement in the air during the very first week.

1. You Get to Scope Out Your New Classes

Maybe I’m a dork, but I was always excited to see what my new classes would be like. In certain classes–the must-take courses taught by the professors with the best reputations– it was great to see what all the buzz was about. Other classes might have sounded intriguing in the course catalog; reading through the syllabus on the first day, I’d think the class sounded interesting, and hadn’t been assigned 500 pages of reading to prove me otherwise. I would also look through the syllabus and see what the course requirements looked like, so I could estimate how little effort I could put into the class, and still walk away with an “A.”

Of course, it’s also fun to see who else has signed up for the class. Whether you walk through the door and see five of the girls from your freshman dorm, or right into the eyes of your new insta-crush, it’s fun to find out who you’ll be taking the class with. Read More »

You have enough things to worry about during your first few lectures; you need to size-up the professor, skim the syllabus to see which books to avoid buying, and ogle the TAs. One thing that shouldn’t give you grief is finding a good seat. If you want to start the semester on the right foot, here are a few folks you should steer clear of.

- Tweedledee & Tweedledum: They signed up for the class together, the live together, they went out to the bars over the weekend together, and they probably hooked up with the same skeezy dude. Now they want to recount the entire experience for everyone in class in the loudest whisper ever recorded…from right behind you.

If you can’t switch seats: Give them the old GASP treatment. It’s a 4-step process, Glare, Ahem, Say Something, and the last ditch effort — punch them in the face.

-Kitchen Sink Guy: He brings a traveling coffee mug, a laptop, two coats, all of the textbooks for the class, and a sack lunch. Worst of all, he tries to squueze it all onto his little desk, or worse, yours.

If you can’t switch seats: Grin and bear it but draw the line at your desk, or at least make him share some of the sack lunch in trade.

-Ms. Magoo: She can’t see the board, she can’t hear the professor and she can’t stop asking you to repeat and or clarify everything that’s going on. Essentially you’re playing Annie Sullivan to a second-rate Helen Keller; an annoying girl who listens to her iPod on high and thinks her glasses give her a case of fat face. Read More »

1) English is as hard for them as Algebra is for you.

There’s nothing wrong with knowing two languages. Actually it’s pretty cool. But if your professor teaches at a University in the U.S and they are not a fluent English speaker, and they aren’t teaching the language they are fluent in, you could be in for a rough time, especially if the class is science or math. The only thing more difficult then college level mathematics is college level mathematics from Russia (with love).

2) A complete lack of syllabus.

In college, stuff matters. Papers, grades, stuff that is trivial in High School gets more weighty once you sign away a few thousand bucks a semester. A syllabus is a contract between you and the professor to minimize f*ck-ups on both ends. With a syllabus, they can’t bust a giant exam on you and be all “I said!”, and you can’t claim you misheard the due date for the term paper (damn!). If your professor doesn’t come with a syllabus on day one, ask about it. If they don’t have plans for one, you may in some troubs. Write all important dates down.

3) Where did I put my…

People who forget stuff a lot can be cute. Unless you pay them to teach and grade you. Then it’s just annoying. We admit, teachers are people and forgetting stuff is fine, occasionally, but if your teacher forgets most of the stuff they were supposed to bring during the first week, you can bet on a semesters worth of waiting for AV equipment that wasn’t requested and photocopies that didn’t get made. Your assignments are at least slightly in your control, so make 2 copies and keep one for yourself. Read More »