• Authorities in Park Slope say that a little girl who draws on the sidewalk is to be fined for graffiti. Well, good! I needed just one more reason to think that Brooklyn is totally, totally lame. (Brooklyn Press)

• Pirates vs Zombies! Apparently, they couldn’t wait two more weeks. (Pioneer Press)

• Best/worst quote of the week: “[She was] Just holding the baby out of the window and I was like ‘Oh no … no … no.’” (Baynews9.com)

• Kinda like the story above, except reverse! I can’t help but think the little guy is adorable (and a better driver than me!). (Yahoo!)

• Parents who sign their kids up for pole dancing lessons are f*cking idiots…but, like, if you’re 9 years old and dancing on a pole while your other friends are playing T-Ball…wouldn’t you kinda know something isn’t quite right? (COED Magazine)