We all know we’re not supposed to mention our ex-boyfriends when we’re on a first date with a new hottie. Common sense, right? An article on The Frisky puts ex-boyfriend as the #1 word not to mention as a first date. But what about the other top 4 words you’re not supposed to mention? Maybe not so obvious. Or maybe completely and sickeningly obvious. Do they really think we’re that dumb?

Coming in at #4 ion the list of words not to say on a first day is rash. You know, that skin condition you have that may have been caused by the sun, but might also have been caused by another’s bodily fluids (the forbidden ex-boyfriend, perhaps?). Oh, and it may or may not be contagious. Every guy’s dream come true! Come on, girls. If you’re talking about your rashes on a first date, I’m going to take a wager and guess that you’ve never had a boyfriend. Unless he’s the constantly sick, allergic to everything type. Read More »

“See? This is us in my living room? Isn’t he cute? He’d be so much cuter if his face wasn’t squished by my head…”

This sentence isn’t offensive on it’s own, but couple it with an hour’s worth of similar utterances, and you’ve got one of the most annoying situations in life: The Girl Who Won’t Stop Talking About Her Boyfriend.

I was recently in the presence of such a girl, and found myself silently contemplating all the ways in which I could force her mouth shut permanently.

Trying to do work around one of these female specimens is impossible. You just can’t do it. No matter how interested you try to make yourself look in whatever work is in front of you, Girl Who Won’t Stop Talking About Her Boyfriend will continually engage you in superficial drivel.

The shallow conversation she tries to engage you in will always be one-sided, however. Even though she’ll ask you questions that will keep you away from you work, she’ll routinely answer those questions herself, not having even a second to wait while you search your head for something remotely friendly to say.

Girl Who Won’t Stop Talking About Her Boyfriend usually picks single people to torture. It’s a subconscious, animal-like sense that she has about her—she can smell singleness like a shark smells bloody fish heads. Read More »