Makeup is fun. With makeup I can make myself look like anything I want. I can glam myself up, or play out a more natural look. I can turn myself into a sex kitten, or an innocent girl next door.

But it has taken years and years of trial and error to know what looks good on my face and what makes me look like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show. Looking back I’ve had some pretty disastrous makeup moments that I have comprised into my top 5 makeup regrets.

1. Sweat + black eyeliner = scary raccoon eyes. Now I love me some black eyeliner, especially when I’m putting on a cute little dress and going out to a club, but there are certain places where it’s probably not a good idea to pile on the black and, unfortunately, I’ve learned this the hard way.

One night my friends and I dressed ourselves up to go out dancing and I had put on a ton of dark eyeshadow and eyeliner. The dance floor was completely packed and after about half an hour we were all sweaty and gross. My friend and I went to the bathroom to cool down and when I looked in the mirror, I found that the makeup I had so meticulously applied was now all over my face! Seriously, it looked as if I had rubbed a huge piece of charcoal all around my eye and down my cheeks. My black eyeshadow had literally melted from me sweating and was now sitting in clumps on my eyelids. Needless to say I had to scrub it all off before anyone (besides all those people I saw pre-bathroom trip) saw my disaster of a face. Read More »

As we approach August, we may have started to take summer vacay for granted. In the dog days of summer, it’s easy to sleep until 2 p.m., get caught up on Maury, and not realize we still have our PJs on until it’s time to go back to bed. But with the countdown to Fall Semester ticking fast, it’s important to make the most of every spare minute. Whether you’re working your ass off or dedicated to being a lazy bum until a full courseload kicks back in, it’s time to get in gear and create some glorious summer memories.

1. Take a roadtrip. Sure, gas prices are skyrocketing, but you’re only young once, right? And once you’re shackled into a nine-to-five, you’re going to crave the spontaneity that’s currently yours for the taking. I’m a self-professed workaholic, but even I’ve been known to squeeze in a few quality roadtrips between May and August each year. One summer, I took a fourteen-hour drive to Ohio with two girls from work I barely knew, for the birthday party of one of my brother’s grad school friends. And no, my brother didn’t go. So, three random girls showed up at a party in the boondocks (aka Wooster), and promptly put on our party shoes. Liquor flowed, regrettable hook-ups were had, and the girls and I totally bonded over the experience. Even if you can only spare one day, find a town you’ve never been to before, and head out to explore. You never know what adventures might arise. Read More »

Today, I realized I had been living a lie. When I changed my major from journalism to English last semester (big mistake – but that’s another story for another blog), I thought “Hey, sweet! I can catch up on classes this summer by reading classic lit (poolside, albeit), expanding my already-extensive vocabulary with words like ‘subtilization’ and ‘castrato’ and still work on my tan!”

Apparently, I had fallen prey to my university’s (and um, my so-called ‘friends’) pernicious lies about the elusive evil that is summer school. Both my advisor and financial counselor had blissfully encouraged me to spend my hard-earned work/study cash on summer classes because, well, they were going to be so much easier than the normal, semester-long demons I would inevitably have to struggle with during the fall semester. It sounded like a pretty good idea, and when I consulted my girls who had all previously taken summer classes, they too said that summer school was way easy. And okay, I got a little excited when I realized that this meant I could wear flip-flops and jean skirts to class every day if I wanted– something northeast Ohio school years rarely permit.

So, I took the plunge. I signed up for summer school…with little to no idea about what was in store for me.

I was still floating on cloud nine after a post-midnight romp with an attractive boy when I waltzed into my first English Studies class - totally ready to tackle Faulkner and Woolf with ease. However, as soon as the syllabus reached my freshly-manicured fingernails….I practically went into cardiac arrest. Read More »

Let’s put something out on the table. I’m pale. Year-round, unless I am recovering from a painful sunburn, any healthy glow I may have is courtesy of Cover Girl and a fluffy blush brush. I’m also not a fan of leather-face a la Rachel Zoe, so I’ve become quite intimate with the self-tan aisles of various department and beauty stores.

But there’s a problem with most self-tanners I’ve tried. And that problem is that they suck, in various degrees and respects.

I had high hopes for Jergen’s Natural Glow, the daily moisturizer that gives you gradual, but the color was so “gradual” that I gave up my daily application routine after a week of no results. I decided to try Mark bronzing self-tanner and spent the next day furiously scrubbing it off after looking like my tan was applied by a child painting with watercolors.

And Victoria’s Secret must be that she moonlights as an exotic dancer, because the only glow VS Bare Bronze gave me was that orange “my work uniform consists of 4-inch clear heels and glitter” glow.

I’d been mourning the loss of my summer tan on a daily basis since the beginning of the semester, until I came upon Elizabeth Grant Soleil Smart tinted leg lotion. And after a week of slathering it on, I’m just about ready to bathe in it. Read More »

Remember back in the day when you looked like THIS and didn’t look like an overly-browned asshole?

According to AskMen.com, you’ve dropped from the 12th most desirable woman to 21 – so basically it’s statistically proven that you’re looking not-so-hot with your faux-glow skin and mousy locks.

I get it…you’re with John Mayer now and Nick is with Vanessa but come on…you’ve looked like an asshole BEFORE so what happened to your sense of style and taste? Your boobs are popping out of your dress and the color of your skin is so fake that I’m sure if you sat down on a white chair, you would leave a mark.

For future reference, when applying self-tanner (especially if you’re quite pale) it’s best to mix in a moisturizing lotion to dilute the color until you know how dark it will turn on your skin. Read More »