As soon as summer announces itself with its warm winds and bright, shiny mornings, I want to lay out and bake in the sun. Nothing feels quite like floating in a pool - book in one hand, ice cold beverage in the other - absorbing those delicious rays. And nothing looks quite as good with almost every article of summer clothing than some nice, tan legs.

I am fully aware that skin cancer is scary business and not worth the fake-baking/laying out for hours on end. I also have a pretty healthy fear of getting wrinkley in the future, so, to protect myself, I wear my sunscreen. But I recently realized that maybe sunscreen wasn’t enough, and getting my glow a different way may be a better option.

I started investigating.

My former roommate loved sprays, but I personally don’t trust myself with them. I am mildly OCD and need a lotion to ensure I’m not missing anything. I went on a quest to find the perfect lotion and came across a new product: Jergens Natural Glow Express. It looked just like the rest, except that it claimedto show results in 3 days. Conveniently, I was heading on vacation in 3 days, so I grabbed it. Read More »

It might be a genius idea to have the reunion show before the finale. I try to care enough to watch the reunions but usually they are a waste of my time. We don’t get much out of them; all we see is that after watching themselves on TV, the contestants have gone out and gotten new hair or lost weight or sat in a tanning bed for a while.

I don’t remember most of these people so I hope that I don’t have to hear them talk. I wish that Jay had missed his flight out of Jersey.

Everyone is out on stage except for Chad, Bo and Kristy. I guess Chad has to be kept away from Bo, especially if there’s some lawsuit lurking.

We’re treated to clips of everyone making fun of Jay because he sucks, Glitter because she’s crazy and George for being nocturnally creepy. What’s up with staying up all night to watch everyone sleep?

I wish that someone would fill a tube sock with silver dollars and smack Jay in the mouth to make him shut up. You are NOT a bad ass; CHAD had to fight ‘for’ you, little man, because you can’t head butt anyone in the face unless they’re too short to go on the upside down roller coasters at the county fair.

I don’t know who’s calling Jay out, but I like her. Who threw a chair at him? Haaaaa!!!!!! Do it, Jersey girl Lauren!!! Read More »

As we all well know, summer is ending. No more long days at the beach and long nights at the bar. Instead, it is time to head back to school where you will spend long days on the couch and long nights at the bar.

Oh, and you will probably be studying too.

Anyways, don’t head back just yet; there are still plenty of things that you must do before packing up your Yaffa blocks and moving back to the dorms.

Since I will not be returning to school this Fall (though grad school is starting to look mighty tempting), I have compiled a list of 5 Must-Do’s before its time to crack those books:

1. The Summer Fling - Three months have gone by and still you haven’t had some good ole commitment-free summer fun? Forget those standards; just get out there and get some. With only a few weeks until you move away again, “commitment” won’t even come up in conversation. But wild nights of romping will definitely be had.

2. Treat Yourself - If you have spent your summer working some crappy job/internship, it is time to give yourself a little treat. Maybe a facial or a massage. Or those oh-so-fabulous jeans you see in every magazine. Or maybe, if you are really feeling frisky, one of these bad boys. Read More »

Have you ever been out in the sun so long that you get those annoying flip flop strap tan lines? Like while you’re spending Friday’s paycheck “wisely” on all those cute little outdoor stands in SoHo (For some reason that antique owl-shaped can opener suddenly seems like a vital investment.), or at an amusement park with your friends for the day whilst trying your best to hold down that (bad, bad decision) corndog? Well apparently someone really had a problem with those little tan lines, because some Aussies at Treds have just created, tadaaa, the strapless sandal. Read More »

So I think all of you devoted readers deserve to know that I’m dying.

Ok, not really… but according to a new study, cancer might be brewing inside me as I sip my diet coke. (Why am I such a Debbie Downer today? Wah wahhhhhhhhhh.)

The study found that one of the most popular artificial sweeteners may cause cancer. And I don’t know about you, but that is practically a death sentence for me.

As artificiality has become a societal fundament, I’ve managed to resist plastic surgery and fake tanning. Hell, I don’t even have a fake id. But, because I’m such a lucky gal, the one faux treat that I’ve wildly indulged in is now linked to cancer. Read More »

So it’s summer and we all know what that means: time to really get into some new pretty makeup, sweet scented lotions and anything that involves becoming a bronzed goddess.

So obviously during our precious staff meetings, us ladies like to share our current obsessions and essentials. And this time, we really wanted to share our get-gorgeous secrets with you. I mean, who are we to keep such loveliness to ourselves? Read More »

Looks like we’re not the only ones whose summer agenda revolves around getting a decent sun tan, female prisoners in Gothenburg, Sweden have decided to fight for their, uh, right… to wear bikinis and sunbathe (I think that falls somewhere in between freedom of assembly and that one about arms). Even in jail, these girls demand to stay sexy, can’t argue with that.

Besides, if make-up sex is as treasured as it is, I’m sure there’s nothing better than “I’m out of the slammer can you believe it’s been three to five years” sex. Come on, no sane ex-felon would want to be pasty and pale for that.

Since bikinis are not standard issue prison clothing (surprised?), inmates are claiming that they are being sexually discriminated. The girls argue that male inmates can simply take off their shirt and get a well balanced glow while female prisoners don’t have that same luxury.

These fiesty jailbirds are currently petitioning the local prison council, and attempting to challenge them with sex discrimination charges.

Crafty, ladies! Read More »

Solid French Top $36, Solid Hipster Tie Bikini $34, both from J.Crew

I know I recently praised the return of the one-piece bathing suit, but today I stumbled upon the most adorable bikini — and I’m pretty sure I would have died if I hadn’t instantly bought it and splurged on the express shipping so that it will arrive at the currently sunny and delicious Dartmouth College asap.

Only the cool kids have summer school, believe you me, and I plan on spending a good chunk of this beer-infused summer camp sporting this little number. The question isn’t whether it’s appropriate to wear a bikini to class, but whether or not it will help me finally seduce that hot government professor I’ve been eyeing since last semester — that was a strictly theoretical example of course. Read More »