Dear “That Guy”,

Your ability to drink in excess and ruin 95% of pictures taken at parties gets me hot and bothered. I think it’s uhh… adorable that you maintain your appearance to the point where I question your sexual orientation. I guess I respect the fact that you tweeze, bleach and pluck more than me. The fact that you care about your “fresh kicks getting smudged” more than your future or GPA is super sexy…?

Babe, what happened to you? Before you became “that guy” you were once “just one of the guys.” You were playing Madden instead of photoshopping your Facebook pictures. You couldn’t tell Armani from Target. Your cellphone lived in your pocket instead of clipped to your ribbon belt, and for the love of God, why are you orange-r than an Oompa Loompa?! I liked you without your bromosexuality. I’m not interested in the Brody Jenners or the Gotti wannabes!

Why does your tee shirt have more sparkles on it than Limited Too’s entire Spring Collection circa 1998? These glittery numbers are worsened by being “slim fit” to show off your “killer pecs.” Maybe they work for Hulk Hogan, but they don’t work for you and they definitely don’t work in public. Do society a favor and wear clothes that fit. And if your shirt has a collar? I don’t care if you’ve been popping it ever since you can remember. Old Yeller that nonsense. Put. It. Down. Read More »

DeAnna said it best, “I cannot believe that I’m going to marry the guy with the pink shoelaces.”

I can’t either.

On tonight’s season finale of The Bachelorette, once jilted contestant DeAnna Pappas chose underdog pro-snowboarder Jesse over easy-going single-dad Jason. It was shocking to say the least, especially considering this episode.

The fellas went home to Georgia to meet DeAnna’s family. Jason wowed the Pappas’ with his intellect, charm and sincerity. Papa Pappas seemed to swoon himself. Meanwhile, even with a new haircut, everyone was a little perplexed over just how Jesse got this far in the competition. Read More »

Sometimes you fall in love. And sometimes you get your heart broken because you fell in love.

You recollect the pieces of yourself that the relationship scattered all over and eventually, you become stronger and you move on. You start to like other guys and you begin to wonder what it was that possessed you to the point of tears over ‘that’ guy before…

He treated you like crap.
He made you cry.
He was the one always screwing up and then the whole thing finally ended — exploding, despite your efforts to make it work.

You get over it.

And then he comes back. Read More »

Have you ever met that guy who’s got arrogance dripping from his pores? He’s a Tommy Lee, with charm, stuck in a Brad Pitt body. And he can dance. And he is undeniably witty…always with better comebacks than your own during your flirtatious banter with him.

He can get all the girls. And the fact that he knows it sadly doesn’t make it any less of a fact because…you know you’d do him, too.

Well, Scotland’s Calvin Harris is not only this guy…but he’s written a song about it, too. As I heard his music for the first time in a video on YouTube, aptly named, “The Girls“; I was angry. The chorus of his song is simple:

“I get all the girls, I get all the girls, I get all the girls, I get all the girls”.

He dances around with American Apparel looking babes of all sorts of hair and skin color. And I’m angry because I would bet money that he DID get all of those girls after the video shoot.

And the sexiest part of all? Read More »