Let’s get one thing straight; I am absolutely obsessed with Disney movies. But as much as I love watching them, the princesses walking around those movies always manage to make me feel terrible about my love life. They create unrealistic expectations about love and relationships all while maintaining a search for ‘happily ever after’.

So how does one attain this happily ever after? According to a Disney princess, by finding love! And how does one find love? With a song and dance, of course!

Gone are the days where meaningful conversation and actual chemistry are needed for a relationship, Disney princesses show that chiseled features and a great singing voice are all a girl really needs. Beauty and the Beast seems to be one exception as the Beast definitely ain’t no looker but Belle likes him anyway. The only downside to this love affair is that the Beast is holding Belle captive in order to make her fall in love with him so he can turn handsome again.

Ariel, in The Little Mermaid, has yet to speak to her man before claiming her love for him. She defies her father, runs away from home, and makes a deal with an evil sorceress to give up her voice, all in hopes of meeting this guy. But lo and behold, Ariel and the prince do meet and by the end of the movie they have fallen in love and are ready to live happily ever after. Maybe it was all the stimulating conversation the two had together that attracted him to her. Or the great pair of legs she traded her voice for. Read More »

College is kind of a weird place, isn’t it? You’re pretty much dumped in an environment where you’re told to think and act like an adult, but I don’t think I’ve seen anything more childish than some of the crazy stuff my fellow school buddies come up with.

Now, I’m not complaining; nothing helps paper stress like just sitting around and watching a Disney movie. I won’t disclose how many kids movies I watch on a weekly basis at school, but…well, it happens a lot.

Some time last semester, when I had so much work to do that I felt it was more productive to do nothing, I hunkered down with my girlfriend to watch some good ol’ Disney. And I was utterly horrified. This was a movie I adored as a kid, and now I could barely go a few minutes without hearing or seeing something I knew must’ve gone over my head. And the more I thought about it, the more I wondered…

Why did my mom let me watch this stuff?!

Honorable Mention: The “Night on Bald Mountain” short from Fantasia. I still have problems watching this.

5. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Really, contextually, there’s nothing bad about this movie. Certainly an evil madman who wants to melt all the cartoons into nothingness isn’t that bad, and no one questions why a rabbit who’s weird even by cartoon standards is married to a chick who’s hot even by human standards. At least, I never thought anything of it. It’s a damn good movie, don’t get me wrong! It’s just…weird. Read More »