Angelina Jolie the Barbie looks remarkably like Angelina Jolie the person

Speaking of dolls (caution: WEIRD)

LC Drinks it, so should you

Freakiest mom ever?

Locklear’s arrest a setup!

THE Viral Video

Britney accidentally admits her VMA awards were staged

What you need to be one of Hef’s bodacious babes

Teenybopper dream job: have sex with a Jonas Bro

The Princess Diary’s assests…

Gossip Guys on the Gay rumors

Kurt Cobain: in blunt form

Daniel Craig, your title sucks

Aw, Leo wants little leos!

Ok, so basically, this Brinkley/Cook divorce thing is your typical Hollywood story. Two famous people are happy until one decides he’d like to have sex with 18-year-old girls. Only in America! Apparently now (according to the Today Show, really scraping that barrel) it’s come out that Cook also enjoyed his porn. And not just ‘Oh lemme see some 30 second clips‘ enjoyed. We’re talking $3,000 a month in subscription fees. He really, really likes porno.

The frustrating thing about the Today Show piece is that they were calling the segment ‘Cyber Cheating,’ and while, surely, Cook cheated, and indeed he didn’t just look at porn but also used (apparently, its hard to tell with all the ambiguous language) ’sex’ sites, which we assume are swinger hubs, porn shouldn’t really be considered cheating. Granted, three grand worth of porn is divorce worthy, based on irresponsible money management and creepy factor alone, but looking at porn isn’t cheating. And if it is, every guy with a connection to the Internet is cheating. Half of them are cheating right now!

Is cybersex cheating? Arguable, but we can lean toward yes. Cybersex and ‘cyber-flirting,’ while physically harmless, reveal that you aren’t getting something from the relationship you’re in. Read More »

I’ve got to get this out. Joy Bauer pisses me the f*ck off.

For those of you who have saved yourself by not knowing who this lady is, I’m about to ruin you — Joy Bauer is the nutritionist correspondent for the Today Show. She’s also published a ton of books and written about eating your veggies for a bunch of publications. Basically, she’s the Martha Stewart of the health world.

So why do I hate her? Because she’s systematically trying to destroy my happy relationship with food.

Every time I turn on the Today Show (read: while I’m on the elliptical at the ass crack of dawn or getting ready to brave the day) Bauer seems to be running her mouth about all the fantastic! and easy! ways for Americans to lose weight. As she gestures with her skinny arms (I want to know if this lady has ever lived a day over 115 pounds) to bad foods! and their subsequent good food! counterparts, I can’t help but want to shake that way-too-wide grin off her face.

Because she wouldn’t be so happy if she was actually taking all of her grey, lifeless advice.

Her recent “4 Weeks to a Better Body” segment illustrates exactly what I’m taking about. Her advice to get thin in 4 weeks? Basically: make your life so boring food wise the pounds will drop off your body in pity.

Some example “tips”:

1) keep only one or two snack items in the house

One or two snack items? Who the hell enjoys eating the same damn thing over and over again? Even peanut butter filled pretzel bites lose their appeal if they’re my only “snack” source for an extended period of time. This method is sure to make me start hating foods I once loved. Read More »

You know, I can understand being an angst ridden teenager. I can also understand being angry with someone who might have been provoking me on a social networking site-like Myspace. On top of that, I can understand being jealous of all of the totally rad videos on YouTube that get tons of plays and I can relate to the desire to create something that becomes incredibly popular.

BUT, beating the sh*t out of a cheerleader in your class who MIGHT have been (nothing has been proven) provoking you on Myspace is NOT COOL.

Eight teenage girls in Florida recently did something so disgusting that even angry outcasts would have cringe. They lured Victoria Lindsey, a pretty cheerleader, back to one of their homes. They had a video camera set up and then they proceeded to beat her for 35 minutes. They beat her so terribly that she was knocked unconscious and then dragged off into a car. Once in the car, she was driven to a second location and told that if she ran to the police… she would receive an even worse beating. Read More »

As I walked into work this morning, I was confronted by a strange, strange sight. In my post-commute, pre-coffee stupor, I almost ran into someone, and it took me a minute to figure out what was going on. Why was I eye level with a shoulder blade? Why was I surrounded by resort wear on a 45 degree day? Why did I see miles and miles of legs? Being the shortest one in the room I’m used to, but having to drop my head all the way back to look at a dozen designer sunglass-ed faces I am not.

The fog lifted, and it dawned on me. Models. It was a parade of models.

In all fairness, The Today Show is filmed outside my office building on a daily basis. I have seen all manner of odd things, from circus performers to weddings to Beyonce (who, coincidentally, I also almost ran into. What is wrong with me?!). But this one, for some reason, was more jarring than most.

My height, my weight, my decidedly half-assed business-casual attire and half-heartedly blow-dried hair were all thrown into sharp relief. How did these alien people, who have done nothing but exist in the same air space as me, make me feel like a lesser person than when I entered the building? Read More »

By now, we’re all heard about that Facebook group “30 Reasons Girls Should Call It A Night”.

Officially started by two women, “30 Reasons” is all about showcasing (mostly) girls in all shades of wasted-ness. Half-naked, droopy-eyed, and generally looking ridiculous, most of the pictures of these crunked-out chicks are posted by the girls themselves.

Everyone from CNN to The Today Show has weighed in on this stupid group, and while I could care less about drunk people showing the world (and possible employers) how wasted they can get, I’ve always wondered where all the drunk guys are at.

When guys get blasted, they act just as stupid, get just as naked, and most certainly document their exploits just as well as the ladies. Read More »

Cheers to you Bravo for finally understanding your Project Runway audience: girls and gays (and the occasional boyfriend suckered into watching). And I know I’m speaking on behalf of my girly girls and fashion loving flamo’s when I say, male models in their boxers briefs are exactly what we want to see on a Wednesday night (And their washboard abs didn’t hurt either).

Who needs waif-ish awkward walking female models that are in desperate need of a date with Mrs. Fields, when we can watch scantily clad male models prancing around Parsons?

Last night’s challenge was a first for Project Runway: design a menswear look for Today Show correspondent and former NFL player, Tiki Barber. And while the high-stress environment was fascinating to watch, I was more fascinated by the fact that Elisa refused to look at her model when he stripped down to his boxers- claiming that her beau is the only guy who she will touch/look at in his undies. I’m sorry what? Woman-I don’t care if your boyfriend is Brad Pitt, when a male model strips down to his skivvies- you pay attention!! Read More »