Trust me, I am a girly girl. My makeup drawer is bigger than my sock drawer, I check my reflection in every mirror (or window) I pass, and nothing makes me smile like a brand new pair of shoes. But that doesn’t mean I can’t hate girls…right?

Well, not hate, necessarily. More like find things about them that just make me embarrassed to be a girl and want to be one of the guys. I have most recently realized these feelings of disdain while watching back to back episodes of My Super Sweet 16 and The Hills. And spending the past week hanging out with a big group of frat-tastic boys.

1. Girls are catty – when we are put in a room together we will find anything (and I mean anything) to argue about. Or, a few of us will find a corner and separate ourselves from the rest of the group in order to talk badly about the others. When guys are put in a room they watch tv or play video games. They fart. They laugh. They have a good time.

2. Girls won’t let anyone kiss/date/talk to anyone they have ever kissed/dated/talked to – It doesn’t matter if it was last week or in second grade; if she dated him, you can’t go near him. And if you do? Watch your back, bitch. Guys, on the other hand, really couldn’t care less. In fact, many like when they “share” a girl so they can compare stories.

Read More »

Every time I watch a horror story on tv about botched boob jobs, I always wonder why someone would choose to put foreign substances like silicone in their body. Regardless, the FDA has officially approved silicone-filled gel implants for breast augmentations. Is it just me or do all the scary stories that end with boobs looking more like lumpy tumors than actual breasts always involve silicone being the culprit?

It’s possible that I simply don’t understand the angst of flat-chested women and why someone would take the risk because I have rocked a solid C since sophomore year of high school.

Well maybe our dear Heidi Montag from The Hills could explain a thing or two to me. Yes, it’s official: Heidi decided to do something about her itty bitty titties. She recently underwent surgery for breast implants in Beverly Hills.

According to usmagazine.com, “Heidi just doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it,” says a source. “She did this for herself, and she’s hoping to keep it as private as possible.”

Oh Heidi, I’m sure the new twins will be kept “very private” when splashed across the screen of your next reality show venture.

Monday’s aren’t my favorite day of the week for many reasons:

1) it’s Monday
2) my favorite bar cancelled their $1 pitcher night
3) I am always totally hung over from the weekend

Yet, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. At 10:00pm. On MTV.

And it is called, The Hills.

While my own life reflects Lauren’s in many ways (my name is Lauren…oh wait, that’s it) it is nice to avoid the ridiculous drama in my own life and kick back and watch it in hers. And boy does it.

This season has put the “rama” in drama. But as good as the entire season has been, last night really did it for me. Namely, Lauren’s surprise birthday party.

Now, I totally hate Heidi, but I really had to give it to her for throwing Lauren the bomb.com surprise party for her 21st birthday. And the best moment of the night? Definitely Spencer’s speech. Read More »