[Our writer, Kelly, has made it her goal to quit smoking and share her experiences with you. We have been following her for two weeks now. Here is her latest progress.]

Well, I’ve been trying to refrain from smoking at all, but - geez - it is tough. Last week wasn’t too bad - I smoked maybe one or two a day and had a day or two where I didn’t smoke a cig at all. Even better, I didn’t even crave one – score!

But, then, I went to a Halloween party last weekend where I buckled and smoked about ten cigarettes in one night. I know, bad girl, Kelly; but honestly, with all the liquor, I just let myself go with the smoking…again. There’s something about needing a smoke with my vodka soda, or my glass of red wine that I just can’t seem to shake. Am I the only one?

After my lovely smoking binge of Friday, I tried to calm down the rest of the weekend. And I did. I smoked only one or two cigarettes a day for the rest of the weekend.

On my way to work on Monday, though, I almost put my car in park and asked the guy in traffic behind me, who was smoking a cig, if I could bum one. Then I realized how crazy and pathetic I would have looked, so I stopped myself. I didn’t have a cigarette that morning, and I didn’t have one for the rest of the day. I made a conscious decision to either go big - and do it as close to cold turkey as I can until I can finally withdraw myself from the cravings - or not do it at all. And not doing it at all is not an option. Read More »

Q: My sex drive is through the roof, and I can easily have sex twice a day, every day…but my boyfriend is a different story. He’s fine only having sex once or twice a week. We’ve been together for almost a year, but we’ve been fighting about this more and more lately, usually after he brushes me off if I’m trying to “seduce” him, at which point I usually make passive aggressive statements about how I should find someone who DOES want to have sex with me. I feel bad for saying it, but I’m also starting to believe it! Aren’t guys supposed to dream of having a girlfriend that wants to have sex all the time? What should I do?

A: I can sympathize–I’m also the sex fiend in my relationship, and it can be really frustrating. Here’s the thing, though — I don’t think twice weekly sex is really a problem, at least not in the way that once-every-3-months sex would be a problem. Seems to me that’s it’s just a preference and not indicative of how attractive and sexy he finds you. Only you know for yourself if it’s a dealbreaker or not.

I think a lot of the frustration might actually be coming from how the situation is handled, and less so the frequency of sex. Start by changing how you fight. I completely understand your passive-aggressive reaction (and I’ve so been there), but it’s only making him more defensive and not open to talking about it. Try bringing it up during a neutral time–not before, during, or after sex (or the rejection of sex)–and explain it to him in “I” statements: “I don’t feel good about myself when you brush off my advances.” Read More »

Well, we all – even the smokers like myself – know smoking is a bad habit. I have been smoking on and off since I was 14 and, not to date myself, with almost 10 years of smoking under my belt, I have decided it is time to try and kick the bad ‘ole habit once and for all.

Because quitting is really effing hard, I am going to share my journey with and you, CollegeCandies. I hope this inspires you to join me…and inspires me to stick with it. Smoking kills thousands and thousands of people each year and I don’t want to be part of the statistics.

So, week one, here is the progress to date:

After smoking a pack every two days, a few weeks ago I decided not to buy packs anymore. Translation: I’d only mooch my cigarettes, which I hate doing. I figured this would cut my daily intake drastically. And it did, for a few days. Then, one weekend after having a few too many cocktails (my prime time to smoke), I caved and bought a pack… and proceeded to smoke the entire pack in one evening.

Not so good for me considering I’m an avid runner who huffs and puffs on my daily run like I’m a 400 lb. man. Read More »

Q: My boyfriend wants me to get on top during sex, and I want to, but I feel too self-conscious about my body! I just feel like like I’ll be on display, with all of my flaws in his face. Any words of wisdom?

A: You will be on display–and your boyfriend will be loving every minute of it. Part of the reason the girl on top position is often requested by guys is because it’s hot! And not just because it feels good or because sometimes guys want to just lay there–a lot of the appeal is that he gets to see you. All of you. And I can’t stress this enough–he wants to.

And it seems like you want to also. If you had written to me to say that he wants you on top but there’s nothing you hate more, then I might have told you that there’s no reason you need to do something in bed that you don’t like. But it seems like something you’re curious about, and you very may well like.

My advice: just do it. Read More »

Q: Is it taboo to date a guy 6 years older in college?

A: I honestly laughed out loud when I saw this question in my inbox. As anyone who knows me can tell you, I have a soft spot for the older men. When I was 19, I found myself newly single after a two-year relationship. After about a week of crying in bed and eating ice cream, I decided it was time to date–and I had eyes only for older men. For two years, I dated men that were anywhere from five to eighteen (that’s not a typo!) years older than me.

What did I learn? From 18 to 38, men don’t mature all that much. Relationship angst is relationship angst, no matter the age difference. Of course, maturity level of both parties is a huge factor. Without fail, every man I dated in that two-year period would marvel at how mature I was for my age. It’s true–I’m a bit of an old woman trapped in a 20-something’s body. Dating older men worked for me because even though I was still in school, I wasn’t living on campus and was no way involved in the college social scene. And I much preferred being taken out to a nice restaurant and enjoying a glass of (illegal) wine with dinner than doing a keg stand with my significant other.

In your case, six years can be a total non-issue; he’s only a few years out of college and may very well be on the same wavelength as you in terms of relationships and lifestyle. You’re also less likely to run into the Peter Pan complex that was present in many of the older guys I dated, especially the 30-something-musician-still-waiting-for-his-big-break type. Read More »

It’s September 2nd, which means we must tuck our bikinis back in their drawers, slather ourselves in aloe vera, and hang our heads low as we mourn the coming end of summer. This also means that school is starting again, and for incoming college freshmen this brings a whole new kind of dread.

Sure, you’re excited to meet new people, take classes you chose out of your course catalog, and maybe even explore a new city. But there are things to worry about. A lot of them. Maybe it’s that you’re living away from home for the first time, or living across the country. There are more things you need to be prepared for than just athlete’s foot in the communal showers (plastic sandals will take care of that).

As someone who survived four years and two colleges and managed to graduate with all four of my limbs and at least a bit of dignity, I feel I should imbue on you, humble reader, ten important lessons and tips to help you enjoy college safely and happily, from picking classes to surviving alcohol poisoning.

1. Make orientation week count. I skipped a lot of the activities scheduled for orientation week and later came to regret it. I didn’t want to wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston, but what I didn’t realize is that a lot of people did wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston and, in doing so, met all those other people who got up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston. You’re not going to meet people if you hole up in your room, so go out as often as you can.

2. Taste-test classes. So you didn’t get into that History of Watching TV class you really wanted to take, go to the first class or two anyway. You’ll be amazed at how many people drop out of the class and a space for you may become available. The same goes for a class with a bad teacher. If sucky prof is teaching a general ed class you have to take, visit the same class taught by a different teacher. In my experience, a great teacher can make any class interesting and enjoyable. Read More »

Yeah, you heard right: Bitches is crazy.

Every girl has a story about some other girl who stabbed her in the back and then made her feel like crap about it. I mean, unfortunately, it’s a fact of life. Women are mean to each other.

Now, obviously, this is messed up. Aren’t men mean enough? Why do we have to make each other miserable too? But the fact is, we do.

So how to deal with such underhandedness? Cry? Scream? Pee in her soup?

Nope! Take the high road and follow these easy tips for counteracting cattiness. Because, seriously? She’s SO not worth it.

Don’t Cry
This is usually the first instinct. In that stinging moment when you discover her betrayal, tears almost always seem inevitable.

But fight those motherf*ckers!! Tears make her happy and make you look upset. And that’s what you don’t want. Think about something really funny and bite the inside of your cheek. Do NOT let her see you cry. Read More »

Bet you didn’t know that:

• Spraying your oven with water will make your bread crisp and brown. Getting a nice crust on homemade bread is tricky, but steam is the key. Fill a clean spray bottle with water, then lightly spray the bottom and sides of the oven right after you pop in the bread. You can also create steam by warming up a pan in the oven and then dumping a little bit of cold water in the pan as you start to bake the bread.

• You can make better rice by rinsing it. Most types of rice contain excess starch, so if you think ahead a little bit, you can get far better-tasting rice. Soak the amount of rice you’re using in clean, cold water for 20 minutes before cooking it. When it’s done soaking, drain it and rinse it thoroughly a few times. The result: a less sticky, nicer-tasting batch of rice.

• Stainless steel will get rid of garlicky fingers. If you’ve been chopping and chopping cloves of garlic and your fingers have the scent to prove it, rub them for a minute on the side of a stainless steel knife or the bend of a stainless steel faucet. Use some muscle! Then lather up with soap and wash your hands normally. When you’re finished, that garlic smell should be almost totally gone.

[Image courtesy of 4hisglory.wordpress.com]