I think I’ve said it before, but I’m not really into vegan things. I haven’t had a lot of experience with vegan food, but whenever I do find it in my mouth (gosh. That sounds so dirty!), it’s usually a slightly bland and…slightly grainy… experience. I repeat, I haven’t had many vegan delicacies, but really, one strangely gritty slice of tofurky is enough.

So, you’re going to have to trust me when I tell you this vegan cherry pie is just delightful. A friend recently brought it to a party and before they could say “that crust is totally vegan!!”, it was gone. Mostly thanks to me and my two helpings.

While a little long, this recipe is surprisingly simple.

Vegan Pie (Crust)

2 1/4 Cups All-Purpose Flour
1 Teaspoon Salt
3/4 Cup Cup Vegetable Shortening
4-6 Tablespoons Ice Water

1.) In large bowl mix flour and salt. With pastry blender or 2 knives, cut in shortening until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

2.) Sprinkle in ice water, 1 Tablespoon at a time, mixing lightly with fork after each addition, until dough is just moist enough to hold together. (the less water you use, the flakier the crust) Read More »

I knew there was a reason vegans annoyed me.

People are allowed to eat whatever they want. But when they make it my problem—or kill their baby—I get pissed.

Every once in a while, a vegetarian will lean over and politely explain why their salad and cheese dinner is better than my cheeseburger, and usually I agree with them. Honestly, if I could become a vegetarian, I would. But I’m Italian. I was eating meatballs before I could walk. Take away my meat and carbs and I will fall into depression faster than Lindsay Blohan without her coke.

But vegans. Vegans are another story. You might get mad at me, the real vegans reading this, but I’m not your biggest fan. I have never met a vegan who didn’t feel like serving up a sermon.

Real Life Example: Read More »