I was raised, essentially, without TV. I use the word ‘essentially’ because we did have a TV. We just also had extremely conservative republican parents filtering everything that we watched on the total of 2 or 3 channels that we received with our antenna on the top of our TV. (One of those channels was, conveniently, The Christian Network where I was routinely made to watch The 700 Club.)

So, needless to say, TV wasn’t a big part of my childhood. That was fine by me; I spent my time outside and learning how to play guitar.

When I moved out and into dorms at 18, I still didn’t watch TV much. I think there was one in my dorm, but I wouldn’t have noticed either way. It just wasn’t a part of my life. But when I moved in with new roomies in a real apartment when I was 19, everything changed. Not only did we have a TV, but we had every channel (not to mention On Demand and, mmmm, DVR). I learned to love TV.

In fact, I’m watching it right now.

Since I have spent a few years getting to know the ins and out of this tube and the entertainment that it so benevolently offers me, I have noticed that there are some very bad people on TV. And I love lists. So, naturally, I made a list of the worst people on TV. Read More »

After much anticipation, the new 90210 debuted last night. Personally, I was way against any show that would attempt to do the original series justice - because it is the best show of ALL TIME - but I sat down and gave it a shot. What a mistake. From the minute the new theme song started playing (”Is this the Maroon 5 version?” my friend asked) I was o-v-e-r it.

The acting is awful, the fashion is awful and Naomi, the evil girl character, looks like a poor man’s Jesse Spano. Oh, and the whole gossipy blog thing that Kelly Taylor’s (somehow brunette/brooding) little sister writes looks a lot like Gossip Girl. But not nearly as awesome.

I give this show one month until The CW replaces it with America’s Next Top Model marathons. I only give it that long because fans of the original, like myself, will be watching to find out if Kelly Taylor’s baby belongs to the one and only Dylan McKay.

What do you think? Read More »

Puppies are cute, snuggly Cancer detectors.

This can’t be the actual video, right?

Another book I really don’t want to read, but most definitely will.

You can never trust a man to do anything right.

I will never look at Ramen the same way again.

Why are we so addicted to watching rich people on TV?

Want to hate Spencer and Heidi even more? Find out how much money they rake in…for being annoying.

The Clothes that Got me Laid: better than a wingman.

Everyone hates “Project Runway” this season.

Ugh - I should have been a naval architect.

Looks like I won’t be watching the VMAs after all.

Thinking about a dad in a non-fatherly way is gross. On so many levels.

But at TV dad? Well, that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Everyone at one point has been watching a show and had a rare, but undeniable attraction to a TV Dad. An “I wish I could reach into the TV, knock his wife out and take him right there on the kitchen table” sorta moment. Or a, “If that man didn’t have spit up on his shoulder I would totally do him,” situation.

I know I’m not alone….

There are just some delicious TV dads. The kind of dads that make dad crushes OK (or not quite as gross and sick and wrong).

So, instead of privately fantasizing about all the Hot Dads I’d like to screw, I’ve compiled a list for your reading and viewing pleasure.

Read More »

It’s no news that Gossip Girl has been drawing criticism for its racy content and depictions of teenage debauchery. But the recent ad campaign launched by the CW to promote its second season has reignited the flame beneath TV watchdog groups and snobby critics alike. It’s been grabbing the attention of the show’s targeted demographic as well as news sources such as CNN. But this time, the ads (all of which can be found on the CW’s YouTube page) are under fire not only for their salacious content, but also for twisting around the words of critics and using them to glorify the show’s risque themes.

The Parents Television Council is outraged (as usual) over the ads’ audacious use of the organization’s criticism - in advertising the very show these watchdog groups are crusading against. Tim Winter, president of the Parents Television Council, says that the ad campaign is indicative of the CW’s desperate attempts to gain more viewers this fall.
Read More »

Looks like TV Musicals aren’t just for the tweens (and really embarassed twenty-somethings) anymore: the geniuses behind the High School Musical awesomeness have said TTFN (that’s, Ta Ta For Now, for those of you not in the know) to middle school and moved on up to MTV.

Get ready because next Monday, August 11th, MTV will be premeiring their latest hit, The American Mall.

I just watched the trailer and I. Can’t. Wait. Yes, I said it. And once you watch this badboy (below), you will agree.

I mean, honestly, how can anyone NOT be excited for this:
Singing
Dancing
Drama set to singing and dancing
Crazy Taylor from The O.C.
The fact that it is on MTV and, therefore, not nearly as embarassing as watching HSM (6 times….)
A free movie!

Seriously, invite the girls (and me!) over, make some popcorn (and Sangria) and turn this on.

Watch the trailer after the jump! Read More »

Because our usual I Love Money recapper is enjoying a summer vacay (lucky biatch), I was commissioned to watch and recap the most recent episode of the show. Now, I would just like to say that I watch a LOT of bad TV. A lot. My DVR currently holds too many episodes of What Not To Wear, some reruns of The Real Housewives of Orange County, Engaged and Underage and, of course, True Life, I’m a Staten Island Girl.

Yet, knowing all of that, I am still really embarrassed to have watched the trash also known as, I Love Money.
This show is trashier than The Real World, I Love New York and From G’s to Gents (yes, I have watched one episode of that train wreck) combined. I mean, seriously? Is VH1 for real with this show? There are just a bunch of REALLY dumb, really trashy people living in a house together…and having sex with other people in the room. And the names? Whiteboy? The Entertainer? DESTINEY?

I don’t know if I am watching TV or visiting a strip club.

I am not quite sure of the premise of the show, but I assume it is for all these freaks to try and win some money. And on last night’s episode, that somehow included making themselves cry with the aid of onions, cayenne pepper (that some moron RUBBED INTO HER EYES) and even some girl asking a dude to smack her in the face while her teammate tried (so hard) to be upset that she was away from her son.

Yeah. Seriously. Read More »

Welcome back, Tim Gunn! Oh, and the rest of you Project Runway people. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have my favorite show back. I even went out to Happy Hour and had a few beers (and a giant plate of fries) to celebrate!

I missed the actual premiere, but caught it on my DVR, which is better anyway…no commercials! Anyways, like every year, the first episode kicked off with us meeting the new designers. I could write my feelings about all of them, but instead I will let you learn about them here. It is a lot less biased (because I am a judgemental bitch)…and there also happen to be just too many for me to remember.

After unpacking their things in their lovely new apartments (girls in one, a large group of gay men – and one straight guy who wants EVERYONE to know it by talking about his daughters – in the other) the designers head up to the roof for a party with Tim and Heidi. Champagne is opened, people talk and everyone tries to impress Ms. Heidi Klum.

And then they have their first challenge: The Gristedes challenge. Read More »

Sure, there’s a ton of actual good TV. For instance, the Discovery Channel has a lot of educational crap. (Disclaimer: I secretly love the Discovery Channel.)

But when I get home from a long day, I’m not looking for shark week. No sirree blog, I’m looking for some other organisms ripping each other apart and basking in the blood. That’s right: I’m looking forward to Reality TV. And, naturally, other crappy shows I can’t stop watching.

Look! Here’s a few!

(5) A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila
GOD this show blows! So why am I glued to the screen?
And why, when ****SPOILER ALERT******!!!!
Tila chose Kristy and Kristy rejected Tila, why, oh, why did I feel so deliciously vindicated–and then so bummed for Tila? Tila, you biznatch, you have a boyfriend and this is totally fake and everyone knows it! So put away your sweet, sweet alligator tears so I can stop feeling bad for you!!
Dammit.

(4) What Not To Wear
It’s the same every week! Literally! For years, the show has followed the same strict formula (ambush, commercial, 360 mirror/wardrobe trashing, commercial, shop alone pathetically, commercial, shop with Stacey and Clinton successfully, commercial, hair and makeup, commercial, show new look to Stacey and Clinton, commercial, show new look to family, and FIN). I mean, there is almost literally no variation. Once in a while, they do twins or something to mix it up–but still within the same mold. HOWEVER: I love this show. My boyfriend says Stacey and Clinton are the worst people he can imagine, but I want them to be my best friends. So. There you go. Read More »