America’s Next Top Model is coming back for its 74th season!!

Okay, I’m exaggerating a little bit as Tyra ramps up for cycle 11. But there have been so many seasons that my beloved Fug Girls have chosen an all-star cast because the show seems to be less about modeling and more about being fierce and Tyra’s bowls of crazy and Miss J’s hair.

So where are these top models anyway? Adrianne Curry married a Brady. I see Jaslene Gonzalez on gossip sites where bloggers forever criticize her gaunt frame. I think that I’ve seen Danielle Evans in an ad or two. Karl Lagerfield, while obnoxious, is right - the show is never going to turn out the world’s next supermodel. If the show didn’t turn out ten supers before this, why keep it up?

Tyra, I beg you to stop after this cycle. Unless you can turn out another Jade for me or clone Nigel Barker for my bedroom, I’m worn out.

Apparently the Teen Choice Awards were on last night, or something? Yeah, we didn’t know either. But here are some people dressed up for it.

This is what $14 Million looks like. (Funny, I thought there would be more gold….)

Is my iPhone really killing me?

Thank God for CollegeCandy, especially now that our favorite magazine is folding.

People say my standards are too high, but would do date this man?

Sleeping in until noon is not bad; it makes you smarter!

Paris Hilton’s mama fights back against John McCain. Looks like the Repubs lost a little financing, eh?

Sexual harrassment is A-OK. In fact, it is necessary for the future of our species. Duh.

Please, Tyra. PLEASE. Don’t ruin this election for the rest of us.

Are you a nailbiter? Smoker? “Like” sayer? Quit that nasty habit overnight!

Don’t mess with Tracy Turnblatt. Fo real.

As we approach August, we may have started to take summer vacay for granted. In the dog days of summer, it’s easy to sleep until 2 p.m., get caught up on Maury, and not realize we still have our PJs on until it’s time to go back to bed. But with the countdown to Fall Semester ticking fast, it’s important to make the most of every spare minute. Whether you’re working your ass off or dedicated to being a lazy bum until a full courseload kicks back in, it’s time to get in gear and create some glorious summer memories.

1. Take a roadtrip. Sure, gas prices are skyrocketing, but you’re only young once, right? And once you’re shackled into a nine-to-five, you’re going to crave the spontaneity that’s currently yours for the taking. I’m a self-professed workaholic, but even I’ve been known to squeeze in a few quality roadtrips between May and August each year. One summer, I took a fourteen-hour drive to Ohio with two girls from work I barely knew, for the birthday party of one of my brother’s grad school friends. And no, my brother didn’t go. So, three random girls showed up at a party in the boondocks (aka Wooster), and promptly put on our party shoes. Liquor flowed, regrettable hook-ups were had, and the girls and I totally bonded over the experience. Even if you can only spare one day, find a town you’ve never been to before, and head out to explore. You never know what adventures might arise. Read More »

I did my usual perusing of NYMag.com a few days ago to find America’s Next Top Model on the homepage, with a picture of some beautiful girl and the headline that “Miss Tyra threw a curveball” by selecting the first-ever plus-sized model to win. I haven’t seen the show in many a season, because Tyra Banks continued to be Tyra Banks and you can only see a marathon so many times, but needless to say, I was intrigued.

I frowned and scrolled back up to the picture. Hm. Come to think of it, her legs don’t look like they could be snapped in two by a twelve-year-old. But plus-sized? She didn’t really look plus-sized. I was perplexed. The consistent theory was that this “oversized” model was picked from the beginning as part of Tyra’s personal agenda to make reality TV history. Or something. Making a point that you don’t have to be skinny to be pretty.

It’s a great message, it is. Except this Whitney character really isn’t not skinny. But in the context of an industry full of waifs, she instantly becomes the fat girl. It’s like picking the hottest guy in a classroom only to find that he’s less attractive on the street among other civilians; you can’t base your judgment of a person in the confines of one element. Read More »

Listen up, Lohan: leggings are NOT pants!

Happy Mother’s Day: finally, two dudes moms and daughters agree on

Biodegradable furniture would make spring cleaning much easier…

American Psycho meets Superbad–NSFW

30 Rock> The Office

Grabbing a cup of coffee ain’t what it used to be, girls

Maybe I should start watching Grey’s Anatomy again

We all saw this coming: Hugh Hefner wants Hannah Montana

When did Tyra Banks become Jerry Springer?

Senator Stoner (yep–real name!) bans marijuana candy

I watch a lot of really bad TV, but I can proudly admit that I have never watched a single episode of The Tyra Banks Show. That bitch is crazy; I had enough of her antics on ANTM. That being said, after hearing that Speidi would be making an appearance on Monday’s episode, I searched the interwebs high and low to find a clip of their interview.

The highlights are below.



Having Heidi, Spencer and Tyra in one place should really cause the world to implode, no? That’s a whole lot of douche for one stage. I don’t even really know where to begin. Maybe with Heidi’s awful Heidiwood ensemble? Or the fact that she and Spencer have been denying for two years that they had anything to do with the tape, only to openly discuss it on national television? (Although, this is the Tyra show; it really doesn’t count.) Or when Spencer, so eloquently, discusses his distaste for watching Lauren’s alleged sex tape. Or, my favorite, when Heidi admits that she was in surgery (getting those boobs/lips/facelift) the day the rumor of the video hit the world.