Bristol Palin\'s Baby. Scary.

So, I’m tired this morning. All that Democrat bashing
and baby hair licking at the Republican National Convention last night kept me up late. Since I can’t
get productive until this Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte
kicks in (yes, they are back!), I decided to peruse
the interwebs for awhile. And boy did I find a gem.

Read More... 

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Juicy Campus: What Do Your Classmates Really Think of You?

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Let’s face it: We LOVE to gossip. We gossip about friends and we gossip about foes. Such idle talk allows us to convey information quickly, although not always accurately. This being said, it is no surprise that the website Juicy Campus has been increasing in popularity since it was founded on August 1, 2007.

When my friends first introduced me to Juicy Campus, I wrote it off as another place for people to share their college exploits online. But I quickly realized that this site was different; I actually knew the people that were being discussed! Friends, classmates, hookups—no one was free from the wrath of this critical group. Let’s just put it this way, if the “Burn Book” from Mean Girls was published online for all to see and comment on, I would imagine it would look similar to Juicy Campus.

The site was created by Mark Ivester, a Duke University Alum, with “the simple mission of enabling online anonymous free speech on college campuses.” (Editor’s Note: That’s a nice way to refer to sh*t talking!) There are currently 64 colleges listed on the site, including many prestigious institutions such as Harvard, UPenn, and Brown. The topics on the site range from the innocent (”Best Frat on Campus”) to the scandalous (”Sex with Professors”). Each post gets a rating ranging from 0% Juicy to 100% Juicy, so the juicier the gossip, the better the rating. Read More »

90210 + OPI = Throwback Fashion in the form of Nail Polish?

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Ah, 90210. I remember sitting on my couch in middle school, my legging-clad legs propped up on the coffee table and my boys size extra small plaid shirt tied to one side around my waist, watching every episode religiously. I mean, these kids were so cool and had such dramatic lives and how awesome was it that they got to go to school by the beach?! I loved everyone, except Donna — who was whiny and had horrible fashion sense — and often dreamed that my high school experience would be full of ex-boyfriends, accidental drug overdoses, trips to Paris, and constant sexual tension.

Sadly, reality isn’t half as fun as fiction. But happily, 90210 is coming BACK to prime time TV later on this year! The promos and whispers have finally begun to surface, and one interesting (but I mean, how are the two related?) tie-in with the 90210 resurgence is OPI nail polish. Apparently, OPI is bringing out a “90210 inspired collection” of polish colors with names inspired by either the new cast or the old one — we’re not sure which.

It’ll be interesting to see how a company ties in nail polish to a series, but I’m sure today’s consumer culture will not disappoint. If, however, they try to make a color that has to do with Donna — stay the eff away. It will look ugly, and quite possibly make people suddenly decide you’re too annoying to live.

[Editor’s Note: check out the Mom Jeans on every single cast member in the above pic. PRICELESS]

Dear God No: Croc High Heels

crocs_cyprus_scarlet.jpgI don’t know when or why it happened, but some time in the last few years people started popping up all over the place wearing orthopedic shoes. Brightly colored, rubber orthopedic shoes. And then they started sticking little decorations on them.
And then, gasp, I saw them being sold at Nordstrom.

Which is where I learned that the shoes were called Crocs and, despite being the most horrifically ugly footwear since the Moon Boot, they were very popular.

“They are so comfortable,” my 30-year-old brother said after I gagged when I saw him wearing them.

Since when does the entire world give up fashion for comfort? Seriously, my grandma wouldn’t even be caught dead in those things.

Well, the….er….masterminds behind the Croc heard my complaint. Sorta. They have been working feverishly to expand their product into the not-so-ugly market and have now done it with….

Wait for it….

The Croc High Heel.

I really didn’t think it could get any worse than the original, but, alas, I was wrong. I don’t care how comfortable these things are, I would rather walk home from the bar with 2 bloody stumps than even try these things on in stores.

If you know what is good for you (and fashion as a whole) you will not give in to the crazies over at Croc. No matter how high the heel or the comfort level.

Stop Looking Like a Clown: Natural Makeup Tips

thilushlashes.jpgI’ve heard it a million too many times: “Wear makeup so that it doesn’t LOOK like you’re wearing makeup!”

Too often, the advice is being given but no one is hanging around to do the instructing. Painting your face (and yes, I will stoop to this level) so that it looks natural is actually quite an artistic gift that one needs to work long and hard at honing.

It requires actually understanding the difference between your real lip color and candy apple red. It requires putting your purple eye shadow in detention until that glamorous-hipster-weekend party rolls along. (Or not so glamorous groupie rock show…either or). But if you can bear to face your day without these neon signs that scream “She might be UGLY under all of this!“, you’ll succeed in not only looking hotter than you actually do when you wake up, but also in fooling a whole lot of people that you’re ridiculously naturally gorgeous.

So here are some tips I’ve got for you. I do not bring them to you in vain. These tips have collected themselves in the beauty corner of my brain only after numerous glitter spills and eyeliner smears.

1. Mascara. You’ll need it. But lets keep it real, shall we? Your eyelashes aren’t blue. G et a color that makes sense for your natural complexion. If you’re one of those born blonde babes, try a light brown.

2. Concealer. Sometimes you simply have some stuff you wanna…ugh….CONCEAL. Dark circles. Pimples. Yeah, they’re the “real you”, but who needs to know? Try dabbing the makeup around the area you’re covering instead of wiping it in. Making sure you cover the area under your eyes can really lift them and make you seem way more awake than you probably are. Read More »

Worst Holiday Gifts Ever

90075032.JPG Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or some other holiday that not many people know about, you have undoubtedly received a gift that made you cringe, bite your lip to keep your mouth from saying something rude, or eyes water from the sheer ugliness factor.

While awesome presents are fun to receive, crappy presents are fun to talk about. So here, in no particular order, are three of the stupidest things I have received in recent memory.

* Box of Sparkly Body Spray – When I was 12, I freakin’ loved sparkly things. I would have killed for something like this in my teenybopper phase. However, once I turned, oh, say 22, I had pretty much left my gaudy taste behind. Too bad a long lost relative didn’t get the memo. When I opened this present—a set of three different kinds of pink, sparkly, heavily scented body sprays with Barbie heads as bottle stoppers—I was immediately mortified for everyone in the room. Either this relative was so out of touch with reality she thought Barbie was still something I enjoyed, or she had just totally and obviously re-gifted. Read More »

In the Future, it’s All About Hot or Not

fcsbat_0074.jpg So there’s this evolutionary theorist in London who’s pretty sure that in about 100,000 years, the human race will be divided into Hot or Not.

Seriously.

According to Oliver Curry of the London School of Economics, by the year 3000, “the human race [will] peak”, and people will start to become much choosier about their partners, “causing humanity to divide into sub-species”.

The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative” Curry insists, while the “underclass” will have “evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.

Curry goes on to explain how women will look in the distant future, and while I’m sure his description is based in science, I can’t help but wonder if he’s not letting just a little bit of male fantasy slip into this description.

Women…will develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features”.

So basically, we’ll look like a combination of a hot robot and an Anime character. Read More »

Get to Second Base, Save a Life!

t shirt

• Like this t-shirt is any worse than “Cinco de Mayo” or “Irish I Were Drunk“? (kctv5.com)

• If you’re going to rob someone of all of their worldly possessions, the least you could do is tidy up. (Yahoo!)

• The following gallery is a case of “So Ugly It’s Cute”! Be warned! (The Sun)

• Not only are these inmates eco-friendly, but they’re making ice cream! Italian ice cream! Mmmm (Reuters)

• Things to do when your… stoned? (COED Magazine)

Trend Watch: Spats

spatSometimes trends are so ridiculous (and downright hideous) that while I put the title of “Trend Watch” on this article…I sincerely hope that this new item will never bear the title of “trendy”.

On that note, say hello to Spats!

These absurdly overpriced leather covers are made to cover your already expensive high heels to give you more variety; more options.

Awesome, just what we all need…something to make us even later in the morning!

Not only that, but if you ask me, these gladiator-esque shoe coverings look really f*cking dated. Weren’t these on the fringe of being cool, like, 3 years ago?

Also, who the hell do we think we are? Mr. Peanut? Victorian era, old-timey, wealthy gentlemen?

Possothespat.com is offering these ugly little things for bundles of cash. And in what looks to be an atempt to be edgy, they have taken pictures of girls with only okay looking feet to pose on toilet seats with these things on. Scandalous! Read More »

Pajamas Are Ugly! (Especially In Class)

dreamIt’s 9:55. You can barely open your eyes. Your room is a mess and you never got around to doing the readings for the class you have in 10 minutes.

So, the last thing you have time to do is pick out a cute little outfit to wear to class. I know, I understand.

But think about it this way…your pajamas are ugly.

Huge cotton pants with Care Bears all over them are cute when you’re watching TV at 10 PM…not so cute when you’re fetching coffee at 10 AM.

And as the day goes on pajamas scream “I didn’t take a shower today!” louder and louder until it’s 3 PM and (one would hope) you feel utterly silly.

So, I’m taking the time to beg all of you: Don’t wear pajamas to class! Unfortunately, this PJ trend is picking up a bit of steam and while I’m no fashion guru, I am so disappointed!

How difficult is it to throw on some jeans an a t-shirt? Put on an old hoodie!

Geez, I’d even allow UGGS if it meant you didn’t wear slippers. I mean, even those are picking up steam as totally trendy! Read More »

I’m an Online Dater

online dating

It has been a few months since breaking up with the ex and while he is out telling the world that I am still calling, I have been out on the town looking for a new man to bunk up with. Being that I am not living in some big city that allows for a Carrie-Bradshaw-Revolving-Door-Of-Men type situation, I have been resorting to some new ways of scouting out the men.

Namely, internet dating.

Ah! Say it ain’t so! I must be crazy, right? But seeing as I spend my days sharing my life stories via the internet, it only makes sense that I create some of those stories that way as well. Well, that and the fact that my brother met his wife online and they had a bomb ass wedding.

So far, so good. Actually, great.

I have come to realize that there are so many benefits to online dating. For one, I can do it from the comfort of my couch. In the comfort of my underwear. While enjoying a heaping bowl of Mac and Cheese (the ultimate comfort food!). All that comfort – paired with the fact that I can hide behind the glow of my computer screen – makes the whole getting to know you period a whole lot more…well, comfortable. Read More »

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